I didn’t slack on New Year’s Day, I ran. I just slacked on the blogging bit and although I’m aware that the blogging bit is every bit as – if not more so – important as the running bit, I’ll just have to live with it. But the New Year’s Day run was a spectacularly feeble run, I’m not even sure if it can be called a run, what with it being a poxy 2.62 miles at an 11:15 minute mile pace. Oops.
But today I got up with fresh resolve to carry on the training for the Reading Half Marathon which has even more cool people doing it now that Running From 30 has joined the roll call and today’s schedule is for five miles so five miles I will do and I try on my new running tights that I got from Lillywhites and fuck me, they’re taking the word tights to the extreme as they’re see-through and I think I don’t want people to see my knickers so I take them off (um, the tights not the knickers) and put my usual ones on so people can’t see my knickers and I get to the footbridge and there’s a man walking across it towards me and I realise I’m not scared and I wonder why I’m not scared and thinking eek or anything and I get to the ice rink and there’s people learning to ride motorbikes in the car park and I think oh, so that’s where the learning centre is and maybe I should learn to ride a motorbike again and I think maybe not, I wasn’t very successful last time and even fell off when it wasn’t moving and nearly ran over two pensioners and crashed into the railings outside the test centre and then Spellbound by Siouxsie and the Banshees comes on which is my favourite song in the whole world ever ever ever although not the song I want played at my funeral because I want Joining the Plankton by Cardiacs played at my funeral and I go over the next bridge and there’s a man with a very big beard and as if beardy men aren’t bad enough, his beard is GINGER and I think why would you grow a beard, let alone a ginger one? and I can’t see if the hair on his head is ginger as he’s got a woolly hat on and I’m thinking hmm, woolly hat, ginger beard, bet you’re lucky with the girls. Not. And I get to the rowing club and there’s no tables outside and nobody eating bacon sandwiches and drinking tea and I wonder why the cafe’s shut and then there’s a cyclist coming down the path and I wonder which one of us is going to move out of the way and I decide it’s not going to be me as I don’t want to go close to the river’s edge and so I stick to the side I’m on and she moves out of the way and then there’s a girl running down the path towards me and she appears to be doing a Charlie Dimmock and I think ouch ouch ouch, get yourself a sport’s bra and then L7 start singing Pretend We’re Dead and it reminds me of when it first came out and Gary said it was about people like me: apathetic and I think I’ll remind him of that when we go to the pictures tonight, not that I’ve been bearing a grudge for 16 years or anything and then I remember that today is the third year anniversary of me not being a smoker. Yay.
Distance: 5.18 miles
Time: 55:07 minutes
See-through running tights: 1
Men on footbridge not scared of: 1
Car parks being used for motorbike lessons: 1
Favourite songs in the whole world ever ever ever: 1
Men with ginger beards: 1
Shut cafes outside rowing clubs: 1
Charlie Dimmock impersonators: 1
Years of not smoking: 3
Adam & The Ants
Siouxsie & The Banshees