I am officially the world’s biggest f**kwit

Oh yes, no one is more stupid than me. I got up bright and early at 6:30, was really looking forward to the race and not a nerve in sight. Got to Hyde Park Corner at 9, luckily Gary was early too so off we went to register which was a bit scary as we were the only ones there, then a few more people turned up but hardly a big turn out so I started thinking oh no, I’m going to be last and not even just last but ages behind everyone else but anyway, eventually the walkers walked off, and the buggypushers pushed off and then half an hour later, we (the runners, of which there were about 15 in the end) were allowed to go.

Everyone except me, Gary and another man sprinted off into the distance. A short while later me and my iPod left Gary and the other man as they slowed off a bit (Gary not helped by the dogs in the park, what with him being scared of dogs and that) and I was happily following a couple of girls in the not too far ahead distance (not in a stalking kind of way I should probably add, just in a I’ll follow them so I don’t get lost kind of way) and managed to overtake one of them as she slowed down and I was trying to keep up with – or at least keep in my view – the other girl so as not to get lost as the marshalls were a bit few and far between.

All was going well, right up until 3 miles. I was going faster than usual and thinking yay, I’m going faster than usual and I’m going to easily reach my target of under 35 minutes when, fuck me, we come to a crossroads and I’m thinking “there’s NO FUCKING MARSHALL THERE! Don’t they know I have no sense of direction? There’s only .1 of a mile left, I don’t want to stop and look at the map, I want to keep on going, and hopefully speed up and do a good time. No no no, this can’t be happening, do I go that way or that way? Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’ll go this way, I think this is where we came in. Oh shit, I don’t think the bandstand was this far down, I think I’ve gone the wrong way. Do I turn back or what? No point turning back, I’ll definitely be last then. Bugger. Oh, there’s the bandstand, what’s it doing over there? Shit, I can’t come through that way, they’ll think I’ve been cheating. Damn, I’ll just go and get changed and go home.”

Here’s a pic of where I took the wrong turning, the blue person is just my *ahem* artist’s impression of where a marshall would have been helpful, it’s not really a marshall, even I would have noticed a big blue stick person.

But yes, I do blame myself, as I don’t think anyone else went the wrong way, so it was just me being an idiot. So I plodded off to the toilet without anyone seeing me, got changed, met up with Gary and went to the pub. Am so pissed off, my first 5k and I completely f****d it up ๐Ÿ™

Oh well, will carry on training for my 10k and memorise the route before I do it ๐Ÿ™‚

Miles: 3.05
Total time: 30.26
Average pace: 9:58 minute/mile
Average speed: 6mph
Max speed: 7.1mph
Total calories: 277


  • That stinks. You shouldn’t have to have a race course memorized – even having signs up in the absence of a real human would’ve been better than making you guess.

    Great race in spite of the extra challenge there at the end!

  • Thanks Barbara, to be fair, there were a few handily positioned marshalls who did come in handy on more than a few occasions, just not when I desperately needed one! And with so few runners, there was no one immediately in front of me to follow.

    Your blog has a ton of stuff on it, I shall give it a good read, that’ll keep me out of mischief for a while!

    Thanks again.

  • Ohhpss… sorry to hear that ๐Ÿ™ I’ve never been a race that small, and I must admit I only ever follow the crowd. So I imagine that I’d get lost as well. Anyway it’s all good practise for next years Robin Hood half that your coming up for ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Have you taken your anger out on a pizza yet ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I wouldn’t have entered if I’d known it was going to be that small. Couldn’t believe it when I got to the end and didn’t know which way to go, aaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhh!!!!
    Haven’t had a pizza yet either ๐Ÿ™
    Have had copious amounts of lager, three bars of chocolate, three burgers and two hot dogs at a friend’s BBQ though ๐Ÿ™‚

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