Five minute wonder

I have next week marked down as a healthy week which means no going out boozing and going to the gym every day but thought as my boss was off today I’d take advantage and have an extended lunch hour and go and see if the gym was still in its usual place and it was so I went in and had been on the cross-trainer for about 3 minutes when a man approached me and so I stopped and turned my iPod off and took my earphones out and I saw he was a personal trainer and he said can I ask you a few questions and so I thought well my boss isn’t in, I’m not in a huge rush and so I said ok then and he said have you ever used a personal trainer and I said no and he said do you ever use the weights and I said no and he said would you like to and I said no and he said would you like a personal trainer and I said no and I thought I’m getting bored now and this is my lunch break so I said I’m happy doing my own thing and can I get on please, I’m on my lunch hour and he said I just want to ask you a few more questions and I said sorry I haven’t got time and he said it won’t take long so I blanked him and put my earphones back in and turned my iPod back on and he eventually fucked off and I thought WHAT THE FUCK, I’m on my lunch hour, don’t come over here giving me the hard sell and I realise I’m actually pretty pissed off and think I’m going to complain and I think I’ll do it by email as I’m not assertive enough to complain at reception and it’s not the receptionist’s fault anyway and I don’t want to fuck about asking to speak to a manager so I just carry on and then Kate Nash starts singing Dickhead which pisses me off too for its complete ungrammaticalness (yes I know I just made up a word) and so I skip that track and I think it’s not fair, I wasn’t pissed off when I came in here and now I am and I go over to the rowing machines and there’s two girls on them talking and I think oh no don’t be talking that’s really annoying and so I push my earphones in deeper into my ears and turn my iPod up so I can’t hear them and then I go on the bike and then I’m wondering if my leg will take a minute or two on the treadmill but I don’t want to have to get on and get off immediately if I can’t even do one step but the gym’s quite quiet and there’s a row of empty treadmills so I get on one and I do a painless five minutes and then I’m not pissed off anymore but very happy indeed and I skip back to the office, well ok then, I didn’t skip as that would look fucking ridiculous but I’m skipping in my head and when I get back to work someone has left two cakes on my desk, yay.

Stats
Cross-trainer: 20 minutes
Rowing machine: 15 minutes
Bike: 15 minutes
Treadmills: 5 minutes
Personal trainers pissing me off: 1
Cakes: 2