A (relatively) pain free 12 miles

I am woken up from my dream about being in New York by a text message saying have a good run and I think oh, it must be Saturday and I’m wondering if my right knee and my left shin are up to it as I’ve been resting since having to bail out of Tuesday’s running commute (which was actually two-thirds and not three-quarters so maybe after my creative writing course has finished I should do one in basic mathematics) and I haven’t even been to the gym and I am feeling like a fat lardy cow due to having been out drinking and eating pizza again this week and yesterday’s overconsumption comprised of having two lunches and troughing a whole malt loaf in one go and staying up late watching telly and drinking wine and eating chocolate and crisps in between icing my knee and applying voltarol to it and so I’m hoping I’m up to a 12 miler as per my schedule and I take control of my iPod and choose what it’s going to play instead of letting it randomly choose for me like when I’m cooking dinner and pretending to be a domestic goddess whilst trying to retain an air of cool sophistication when a six minute long Grease mega-mix comes on and any illusions of street cred I may have once thought I ever had rapidly disappear and I’m scared to go out in case it hurts but I eventually get out the door and head off and I think hmm, it’s a bit ouchy, and I reassess how I run and I realise I run very flatfootedly and if I put my heel down first it cushions the impact a bit and my shin hurts less and I think I will take it easy and go slowly and see how it is and after a mile I get to my favourite bridge and I stretch a bit and I get to the pub by the river and I look under the bridge to see where it leads from and I think I know where and I decide I will try that way next week and I get round Hackney Marshes ok without my leg falling off and I’m going over the boardwalk in Walthamstow Marshes when twins pass me and they must be in their 60s and they have an identical hairstyle and are dressed identically in the same scarf, coat and shoes and I think oh my god, they must have been like that their entire lives and will probably die after never having had their own identity and then I think I see the cows but realise they’re dogs and I think I seriously need glasses and I remember I’m going to go and buy some on Wednesday and Tracey’s coming with me to tell me how crap I look as glasses don’t suit me ever ever ever and then we’re going to drink free Budweiser and on Thursday I’m going out for beer and pancakes for Gary’s birthday and then I’m giving up drinking as I need to reassess my drinking habits and get fit and do a course in sports nutrition and I’m pretty sure drinking doesn’t feature very high in sports nutrition and I get to Tottenham Marshes and I think shall I stop off at the shop and buy a flapjack as I haven’t made any bread and I’m starving and I won’t be able to have any toast and I decide to carry on as I’m not thirsty and don’t really need to stop as I feel fine and anyway my half’s in three weeks so I only have today’s long run and next weekend’s to train and there will be no stopping to buy flapjacks in Brentwood and so I ignore the pictures of the ice cream at the shop and carry on and get up to the bridge at the end of the marshes and come back down the other side of the river and two people on a tandem go past me and I get to ten miles and I’m feeling a bit tired and I think only two miles to go and I get to eleven miles and I’m feeling a bit feeble but there’s only a mile left and I get home and my race number for the London Heathside 5 in two weeks is there, hurrah.

Distance: 12:36 miles
Time: 2:17:54
Pace: 11:09 m/m
Calories: 1,107
Old lady twins: 2
Tandems: 1
Stopping at shops to buy flapjacks: 0
Race numbers: 1
Courtney Love
Plain White T’s
Faith No More
Graham Coxon
Scissor Sisters
The Dude
The Strokes
Black Wire
Charlotte Hatherley
Elliot Smith
Divide & Kreate


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