Dirty colour changing sheep
I slacked at the weekend, although it would seem I’m not the only one as since the end of Juneathon, there’s hardly been any blogging going on, and therefore I would assume no running either. Tsk.
But the unticked box on my schedule was bugging me so even though I woke up knackered due to not sleeping well and having weird dreams about ex-bosses being in Tehran (is there even such a place?) and ringing me every five minutes, I got up and told myself I was doing the four miles my schedule said I should have done at the weekend.
I look out of the window and THE SHEEP HAVE CHANGED COLOUR
and they’re no longer white and fluffy although the sheep at the back of the garden aren’t usually white and fluffy anyway, they’re usually more of a manky cream colour but they’re never actually brown. Dirty sheep.
And so after the shock of seeing the dirty changing colour sheep I set up Cedric to pace me 11 minute miles to see if going reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllly slowly will help me to actually cover 4 miles today and my route covers the Bad Road and I hope there won’t be any falling down rabbit hole incidents today and I’ll have to be brave and ignore the cars and I go down the road and see white fluffy sheep, not dirty brown ones, and I get to the Bad Road and I go round the bend without falling over and after the bend are cows, hurrah, and I go round the second bad bend without getting run over and there should be more cows but they’re not there and I think I only risked my life on the Bad Road so I could see cows and I only saw half the cows I should have done, bah, and I carry on going and I’m still ahead of Cedric and I’ve got two miles to go and I get round the corner and there’s a man trimming the grass on the side of the road and I’m looking a right state as it’s been raining and I’ve run two miles and I’m soaking wet and bright red and I hope he doesn’t notice me and he looks up as I pass and smiles and says morning and I think DAMN YOU, FRIENDLY VILLAGE PEOPLE and I get to the end of the road and I think if I turn left I can be home in five minutes but I’ve got a mile and a half to go and so I carry on straight and a girl on the pavement stops to let me go past and I say thanks and then I get round the corner where Costcutter is which reminds me of London as it’s run by Asians and everything and is my new favourite shop and there’s a girl on the pavement smoking and she doesn’t move out of my way and then I’ve run out of pavement anyway and I’m getting tired and I want to stop and I can hear something big behind me and I stop and let a petrol tanker or something go past and then two more cars come up behind me and then they all stop to let a truck carrying a JCB come through and I think you get some big trucks and lorries and stuff down these small country lanes and then I’m doing a mix of run/walk and Cedric’s overtaken me and I haven’t got far to go but I’m not going to catch him up and then there’s a Range Rover or something right behind me and makes me jump and I think oops, I should concentrate more, that came up slowly and then I’m back on the main road as Soft Cell start singing Sex Dwarf and I think hurrah and turn it up and then I’ve only got a few hundred feet to go and then it’s in minus numbers and I think does that mean I’ve gone over four miles now? and so I stop my Garmin and it says Cedric beat me. Bah.
Splits
Stats:
Distance: 4.05 miles
Time: 46:18
Pace: 11:25 m/m
Calories: 351
Dirty brown colour changing sheep: some
Fluffy white sheep: some more
Friendly village people: 1
Girls on pavement stopping to let me past: 1
Girls on pavement not stopping to let me past: 1
Petrol tankers: 1
Trucks carrying JCBs: 1
Range Rovers nearly running me over: 1
Cedrics beating me: 1
Music:
Modest Mouse
Muse
Charlatans
Soft Cell