B&Q bathroom installation – day 46 (I think)

I really didn’t want to have anything to do with B&Q during the Christmas break but thought I might as well go and get the light replaced while I’ve got the time off. So I found the receipt, put it on the lights which I’d put on the coffee table so I didn’t go out without them and trekked down to B&Q.

I found some lights I was ok with and thought that would be installed easily as the fitters are fuckwits and can’t do anything that might involve some initiative or skill and took them up to the till. Then I thought, eek, I’ve left the receipt on the coffee table, bollocks. I say to the girl on the till I want to swap these lights for these ones, but I’ve left the receipt at home. She says did I buy them in this store? I say yes. She says she’ll have to call someone over to check and also to check when I bought them. She sent someone off to check that I wasn’t lying and that I did buy them in that store. Then she sent him off to do a browser check to see when I’d bought them as I can only return them within 28 days. He comes back and says £19.99. She says no, a browser check, not a price check. So he goes off again then she says if it wasn’t within 28 days I can’t return them. I say I’ll take them home and come back with a receipt but anyway, I got them on a credit note as it’s the second lot I’ve had to return because your fitters can’t fit them. She says hang on, he’s gone to check. He comes back and says no lights like that were sold in November or December, I must have bought them somewhere else. I say it was only about 3 weeks ago, is Azhar or Maryam here, they helped me when I bought them, they can explain, it’s only taken me this long to return them because I’ve been waiting ages for your electrician to come round and now he’s come round and says he can’t fit them. He says Maryam’s here. I say can you call her over then please? He comes back and says you must be Mrs White. I say yes. He says Maryam recognised you, it’s fine for you to return the lights, I’m sorry about that but it’s company policy, if it’s over 28 days we can’t have anything returned. I say that’s ok, Maryam knows the background, she can explain the hassle I’ve had. Maryam comes over and says to the girl on the till, you can give her a credit note. The girl on the till opens the boxes to check everything’s there and says there’s some parts missing. I say well I haven’t opened the boxes so they must have been missing already. Maryam says to her don’t worry about it. I say to Maryam thanks for your help, sorry to have to get you involved again, happy new year. So I get my credit note which I’m going to give to someone as I never want to go to B and bastard Q ever again.

I get home and look at my receipt that says I bought them on 25 November, so when the man said there were none sold in November or December he was talking bollocks.

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It must be up to 6 or 7 by now 🙂