A light-hearted look at running, cycling and general fitness
Today whilst I was at work doing work type things of the utmost importance, i.e. updating my Facebook status via my mobile, I learnt that if you type in “eat” predictive text gives you “fat”, and if you type in “cakes” you get “baker”.
I think it’s trying to tell me something.
No no no, this is all wrong, it’s 7:38am and I should be drying my hair and getting ready to go to work, not sitting here blogging, aarrgghh and I’m going to get ready late and not have time for any breakfast and I’ll waste away to nothing and not have the energy to drink my potato and leek soup I’ve made for lunch and aarrgghh now I’ve forgotten that no one cares what you had for lunch and so maybe I’ll just post a picture of the rucksack I bought yesterday which I would have posted yesterday but it came out blurry and it was when I discovered I’d taken a blurry rucksack photo that I discovered the upside down sheep photo in my camera so I’ve taken the picture from the Sweaty Betty website instead. Cool innit?
Stats:
Breakfast: Muesli if I have time
Lunch: Leek and potato soup
Rucksacks: 1
No, I’m not speaking in tongues. It’s National Blog Posting Month, although apparently it’s every month, not just November so if it wanted to be pedantically accurate it should be called NaBloPoEvDa and I’m not sure why I’ve decided to join in, especially as I don’t fit the “national” criteria and therefore strictly speaking should only be for Americans but the website says anyone can join in so to be really annoyingly pedantically accurate they should change the name to InBloPoEvDa.
So this morning when I get up and hear about InBloPoEvDa I think hurrah, a monthly challenge, I like monthly challenges, especially ones that don’t involve not eating chocolate/Kettle Chips/pizza or not drinking alcohol and I think it’ll be just like Juneathon, except not involving exercise or um, being in June. But then I think what will I blog about every day? After all, no one wants to know what you had for lunch [today, nothing; yesterday baked potato and baked beans; tomorrow leek and potato soup (or is it potato and leek soup?)] do they? And when will I blog? What if I’m going out? Tomorrow night will see me and Tracey on another of our quests for free alcohol although I had thought I might have to cancel as I had a mystery illness over the weekend and I woke up this morning still feeling a bit rough but then I thought I can’t cancel as our new blogging friend is coming out and last time she came out on a mission comprising free champagne drinking in the hairdressers I cancelled citing reasons of mystery illnesses and she will get paranoid if I keep cancelling whenever she comes out and so I’ll have to get up early and blog instead but what will I blog about first thing when I haven’t done anything? and then I think I can post a photo of the upside down sheep I found on my camera but I don’t think that can wait.
Stats:
NaBloPoMos: 1
Lunch: None
Upside down sheep: 1
Since the Royal Parks Half I haven’t wanted to run and not for any specific reason like I was too hungover or I couldn’t be bothered or I was feeling lazy, I just didn’t want to and had no interest in running whatsoever but after turning down a night out last night I decided that this morning I would have no excuse not to run and would go out for three miles and see how I get on and I get up and get ready and go downstairs and Morrissey’s telling me to stop him if I’ve heard this one before and I can hear a knocking next door and I wonder if they’re doing DIY or knocking because my music’s too loud and I decide that they’re doing DIY as my next door neighbour isn’t a pikey chav who’s going to bang on the wall, unlike my next door but one neighbour who is a pikey chav who came round to swear at me on Wednesday because she took in a delivery for me so I went round to get it and her son answered the door and I said have you got a package for me? and he said yes and it was right near the door so I took it and said thanks and went home then his pikey chav mum rings on the door and says did you take your package? and I said yes, thanks, your son opened the door and she says he’s only 6 you should have waited for an adult and I said oh, yes, you’re right, I’m sorry, I didn’t think and I thought that would be the end of it but she carries on, you’re fucking rude, you’re well out of order, he’s only 6, you could be anyone. So I said sorry, I just didn’t think and she went on and on, I’m not taking your fucking packages in again, you’re fucking rude, he’s only 6, so I said DON’T LET HIM ANSWER THE DOOR THEN! and then I think oops, I’d better shut up as she’s a bit scary and I don’t want her to hit me and I’m far too sober for a row and as much as she seems to like showing herself up in the street I’m finding it a bit embarrassing and hope the other neighbours can’t hear this going on and she’s blah blah blah, carrying on, you’re so out of fucking order and I said look, I said I’m sorry, I don’t have kids, it didn’t occur to me, how many times do I have to say it? and she said ok apology accepted but I’m not taking in any more deliveries for you so I said fair enough and pikey chav woman goes home and I’m traumatised for the rest of the evening and most of the next day but I am recovered now and I put my Garmin outside to get a signal as I’m too much of a wuss to stand around in the cold waiting for it and I see the sheep on top of the TV and I think sheep needs a monkey and I can’t decide which way to go round the marshes and do I want to do the boring bit first or last and I decide to do that bit last and I get to the path and it’s blocked off and I think oh no the path is blocked off but it’s not completely blocked off and I run up the steps at the footbridge and go past the stables and don’t stop to stroke the horses and go through the bridge and I can see a man coming down the path but it’s ok as he has a dog and I go along the boring bit and I’m trying to decide what to write for my journalism assignment as it was going to be about marathon training for vegetarians but I decide as my marathon training only lasted a week I’m probably not in much of a position to write about the training part and as my diet over the last few months has consisted mainly of wine and Kettle Chips, I’m probably not best equipped to be writing about nutrition either and I’ve managed to do the whole three miles without walking even though I haven’t run for three weeks and I get home and I think yippee that was good, I want to go out and do it again. Hurrah.
Stats
Distance: 3:02 miles
Time: 31:20
Pace: 10:22 m/m
Calories: 286
Neighbours doing DIY: 1
Pikey chav neighbours: 1
Sheep needing monkeys: 1
Music
Stereo Total
Faith No More
The The
B52s