Win a pair of Vibram FiveFinger® KSO!

I woke up to scaffolding outside the front of the house and ladders peeking over the roof at the back of the house. This did not please me much so I escaped to the gym. I immediately felt better when, just as I sat down on the rowing machine, the extended version of ‘Uncertain Smile’ by The The came on my iPod (I love love love love love Jools Holland’s plinky plonky piano solo at the end).

(A slightly tenuous link here but, incidentally, did anyone hear the interview with Sinéad O’Connor on 6Music the other day? I’ve obviously never heard her speak before as I had no idea that she sings like an angel, but speaks like a pikey. In case you’re wondering what the tenuous link is, during the interview, they played The The’s ‘Kingdom of Rain’ on which O’Connor sang the female vocals.)

After The The, came Elastica. I was definitely cheering up now and after the rowing machine, I went on the cross-trainer and had planned to do Audiofuel’s ‘Thru the Gears’ on the treadmill after but just as I was getting to the end of my cross-trainer workout, Ghostpoet’s ‘Finished I Ain’t’ came on and dammit, I wanted to hear the end of that song, which left me with a dilemma; do I carry on the cross-trainer for a bit while Ghostpoet finishes his song or go and walk on the treadmill for a bit while he finishes? I chose the latter option and walked for a couple of minutes on the treadmill until ‘Finished I Ain’t’ became the less catchy ‘I’m Finished Now So You Can Get On With Your Thru The Gears Workout’.

Speaking of dilemmas, I received an email the other day offering me a pair of these beauties.


These are Vibram FiveFingers KSOs (KSO stands for Keep Stuff Out – you’ll read why in a minute) and don’t they look fab? My dilemma, however, was that I have a porch full of running shoes, including numerous ‘barefoot’ shoes, most of which remain unworn. So do I greedily grab a pair for myself, knowing they’d probably not get much use, or say ‘thanks but no thanks’? I don’t like to say no to things (except to the text from my friend Tracey the other day when she asked me if I wanted to see England play indoors for free this afternoon. Football? No thanks.) but then I thought to myself, ha! I can earn karma points by saying I didn’t want to take them knowing they’d languish unloved and unused but I’m sure I could find a good home for them by having a giveaway on my blog.

So, eventually, I’ve got round to telling you about the competition. Well, you already know what the prize is, so here’s the official blurb:

Over the last few years the Vibram FiveFingers KSO model has become the most popular style due to its unbeatable comfort and versatility. The KSO features a thin, abrasion-resistant stretch polyamide and breathable upper that wraps your entire fore foot to ‘Keep Stuff Out’. A single hook and loop closure helps secure the fit while the non- marking 3.5mm Vibram TC1 performance rubber ensure excellent grip, whatever your activity.

The Vibram FiveFingers KSO is the perfect choice of footwear for an all-round active healthy lifestyle whether you love climbing, trekking, running, canyoneering, yoga, kayaking, canoeing or surfing, or all of the above for men and women alike.

For more information visit

For your chance to win, just email me (with ‘VFF Comp’ as the subject) at with the answer to the question below, your shoe size and address, and a winner will be drawn at random after the closing date:

What does KSO stand for?

A. Kippers Smell Off
B. Keep Stuff Out
C. Kites Surf Overhead


Competition closes midnight Saturday 2 March 2013.


  • Do you realise just how offensive the term “pikey” is? Would you describe a black person as talking like a nigger? I have enjoyed your blog in the past but will never read it again

    • How you can compare ‘My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding’ to slavery and the civil rights movement is beyond me… Perspective, moron (is that offensive?), perspective…

  • I was merely pointing out the thoughtless use of a derogatory term. But I could have compared the oppression of Travellers to slavery if I had been making that point. It’s all about perspective. No, I don’t find your personal insult of “moron” offensive, why would I? You don’t know me, or I you.

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