Author: jogblog

All the ones

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First day of the first Janathon on the first day of the year. Hungover on New Year’s Day? Me?

Oh yes.

I tried to get out of doing anything. I played the organiser card and used analogies such as ‘Does Simon Cowell get up and sing on X Factor?’, ‘Does Richard Branson sit in a call centre in India?’ but I was tortured by tales of … musing … having already done 20 miles (and being in Sydney, this meant he’d already done his Janathon when we were all out getting mashed) and other activities blogged and logged. Even Warriorwoman had been out at midnight for a run.

I had to do something. Anything.

So I walked round the garden. In my dressing gown. I took the long way round and went round the side of the conservatory, past the side gate, then up past the shed that Shaun’s building and past the dead brown Christmas tree and underneath the practically dead weeping willow and up to the top of the garden and then past the green not dead Christmas tree and the compost bin and past the gap, hoping no one decided to walk down the road at that point, and past the greenhouse and then back down the path to the back door and in total that was a grand total of:

Stats:
Distance: 0.08 miles
Time: 1 minute 39 seconds
Pace: 20:26 m/m
Calories: 5
Dressing gowns: 1
Sheds being built: 1
Dead brown Christmas trees: 1
Practically dead weeping willows: 1
Not dead Christmas trees: 1
Compost bins: 1
Gaps: 1
Greenhouses: 1

Heaven 17

7 comments

Grim was postponed! Yay! I didn’t have to do it last Saturday! Yay!The bad news, though, is that it was only postponed and not cancelled, so I still have to do it. On 15 January 2011. But that’s quite cool, as it will mean a hardcore Janathon effort and the most hardcore Janathoners win, so hurrah for me. Oh, I can’t win my own competition? Bollocks.

Still, with just over five weeks until the new Grim date, I thought I’d better get out there and do some training, now that the snow has just about gone. One of the reasons I was going to pull out of Grim was because I am the world’s most nervous car passenger (I am, really. I scream whenever a car comes towards us on the other side of the road) and couldn’t bear the thought of being in a car for 100 miles or whatever it is in the dark and the cold and the snow and the ice but now that excuse has evaporated along with the white stuff and the excuse of not being fit enough has gone (assuming I do some training), it looks like I’ve run out of excuses.under_armour

So this morning I put on my new Coldgear Under Armour compression top, which apparently is ideal for temperatures under 12 degrees and as my weather widget said it was 1 degree this morning, it seemed an ideal time to try it out. I was a bit dubious as it’s very thick, tight fitting and has a high neck, and I’m more of a thin, loose fitting, nothing round my neck type person but I squeezed into it and put a looser light green short-sleeved top over it, so as not to look too much like a middle-aged, lumpy Catwoman.

I set off for my run and forgot about the high neck immediately and the top was warm and comfortable, and not restrictive at all. It may also have magical powers as I actually managed to run up most of the hill, too, although that may be down to spending a lot of time in the gym last week and nothing to do with magical powers at all.What was even more amazing was that for most of my run, I was going at a smooth, steady pace and that could either be because of the magical powers of my new top or because I’d been on the treadmill a few times recently, which keeps you ticking over as steady as a metronome.

I even managed to run quicker than my recent usual *speed* of 12 minute miles and ran at an average of 11:17 minute miles, which when I got home, realised sounded like Heaven 17 and then tried to think of more paces that sounded like 80s pop bands but couldn’t think of any.

Stats:
Distance: 3.08 miles
Time: 34:46
Pace: 11:17m/m
Calories: 324
Postponed Grims: 1
New compression tops: 1
Paces sounding like 80s pop bands: 1
Music:Audiofuel
Hole

Debenhams XPG Running Kit

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xpg-tightsDebenhams have launched their own range of running and fitness gear (or performance sportswear range, as they like to call it) called XPG. They sent me a pair of 3/4 length tights to try and I was very pleased to see they’ve got a zipped pocket on the back of them, as I’ve only got one other pair that have a zipped pocket and so they’re ideal for running outside in.

They’re also wickable and all that other techy stuff but the best bit is they’re only £18, so a bit of a bargain when you consider that most ‘proper’ running tights sell for about £35.

I also got sent a nice purple hoody (£28) which, unfortunately, still had its security tag on and I had to convince Shaun that it was a proper freebie that I had been sent and not a freebie that I had stolen from our local Debenhams. After being duly convinced of my innocence, he got the tag off with the help of a magnet and a knife from the cutlery drawer.

Although I was going to save the tights for running outside due to their handy pocket I can put my key in, all my other tights were either in the wash or still wet from the wash I did yesterday and so I had to wear my new tights to the gym.

The gym was really busy this morning. I decided it must be the pre-Christmas newbies. These are the people who come in a few weeks before Christmas in an attempt to burn off the calories they haven’t eaten yet, although I’m not quite sure it works like that. Then after Christmas, gyms get really busy with the New Year newbies who, mostly, thankfully fuck off somewhere around mid-February  and then the gyms are quiet again until spring when people come back to try and get that bikini body for the beach. Then they make a reappearance a few weeks before Christmas in an attempt… you get the picture.

The box of neglected shoes

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After a week of not sleeping well at all last week which resulted in me not doing any exercise at all, even though I was well aware that doing some exercise would make me feel better and help me sleep, the last couple of nights I’ve been sleeping better and so I returned to the gym yesterday and decided to go out for a run this morning.

In the unlikely event that I do make it to Grim in a couple of weeks, I’m going to need some trail shoes and I don’t want to ruin my nice new Hoka Mafates and so I thought I’d take a look in the box of neglected shoes that hasn’t made it back into the nearly finished porch with the other twenty+ pairs of shoes and be brave and look in the carrier bag which has been home to my muddy Asics trail shoes for nearly a year.

On the way through the box, I came across a pair of orange Converse, a pair of black Converse, a pair of pink Converse, some smart officey interview type boots, my chav boots, a pair of Salomon trail shoes in their box that I only wore once (can’t remember why), a pair of New Balance running shoes in their box that I only wore once due to them giving me a MASSIVE blister and there at the bottom of the box was the bag of doom containing a muddy pair of Asics.

Actually, they weren’t that bad.

asics

I put them on and they feel fine, although I was expecting them to be crisp and crunchy.

I get outside and do my usual run for a bit then walk when it starts going uphill and I see my postman and I think bah, he always sees me when I’m walking and he knows where I live and therefore knows I’ve started walking after 0.14 of a mile and he must think I’m a complete lightweight and then I get to the trail and instead of turning right where the sheep are, the sky looks bluer up ahead and so I carry on going straight and then when I get to the end I turn right instead of straight on and I follow the road round and I think the little park is down here and lo! the little park is indeed down here and I go up the park and down the cycle lane and then I see a Tesco and I think ooh, a new Tesco and I then I think stop being an idiot, it’s the Tesco that you’ve lived five minutes’ walk from for the last year and I don’t want to go back yet and so I turn left and go back down the cycle path and the trail that I went up in the first place and I realise that I haven’t done much trail running today and it’s mostly been on the road and the whole point was to try out my trail shoes and Grim isn’t going to consist of a nice smooth cycle path for eight miles, no, it’s going to consist of a load of mud and water and maybe I should go to Ham Street Woods next time I go out for a run and get a bit muddy and then I get back and my Asics have given me a blister.

Stats:
Distance: 3.06 miles
Time: 36:44
Pace: 12 m/m
Calories: 312
Boxes of neglected shoes: 1
Pairs of running shoes that have only been worn once: 2
Bags of doom: 1
Blisters: 1
Music:
Audiofuel

Janathon prize announced

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Look what Audiofuel have kindly donated as the Janathon 2011 winner’s prize.

garmin_405

Yep, a Garmin 405 with heart monitor. How cool is that? Much cooler than the flipping massive Garmin 301 that takes up most of my forearm, that’s how cool. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m allowed to win.

You can win it though by signing up at the Janathon website and then running and blogging a lot throughout January.

More prizes to be announced soon.

The Official Register of London Marathon Runners 2001-2010

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vlmregisterI got sent a book. A really big book. It’s a book containing the names, dates and times of the 780,000+ people who have run in the London Marathon between 2001 and 2010.

When I received the book, I immediately went to the back where the really slow runners male runners from 2010 are listed and looked for Shaun. He was there, nestled amongst eleven other male Burgesses; the fastest coming in at 2:54:53 and the slowest at 9:02:35.

As well as being a directory, there’s also a foreword by the marathon’s race director David Bedford, year-by-year overviews from veteran distance runner and London Marathon Trustee, John Bryant, stories from runners about why they ran the marathon and the charities that have benefited.  There are also exclusive celebrity photos, photos of elite athletes and photos of those in fancy dress.

The only thing wrong with this book is that I’m not in it.

It’s not cheap. The Official Register of London Marathon Runners 2001-2010 costs £60 but you can get it half price from Aubrey’s Books.

Hoka Mafate women’s trail shoes: Review

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I was asked if I’d like to try some new trail shoes and, as I’d recently been pondering buying a new pair due to my other pairs currently being caked in mud and still in the plastic bag they were put in when we moved house nearly a year ago, I thought hurrah, that’ll save me cleaning my other ones, and so I said ok then, ta.

A big blue box arrived for me on Saturday. I opened the big blue box and inside were THE MOST HIDEOUS SHOES EVER. Nothing that ugly has been near my feet since my mum used to make me wear sensible Clarks shoes for school circa 1979.

shoes

See?

Still, they’re marginally less repulsive not actually that bad looking once they’re on.

on

I was a bit scared of bumping into the postman when I was taking my Garmin outside to get a signal, although why I think the postman would laugh at me, I don’t know, as he’s about 65, has a shock of mad frizzy grey hair, and permanently orange legs in shorts that he wears all year round and so if anyone’s going to be doing any laughing, it’s going to be me at him, not him at me in my, um, lime green platform trainers.

After charging my phone that had been drained because of Shaun playing Angry Birds on it all night, I’m ready to go.

The Hoka Mafate’s have a high instep and they squeak on the wooden floor. I’m not sure about this at all but I venture outside and start to run. I immediately don’t care what they look like, as they’re amazingly light and cushiony and comfy and bouncy and it feels like I’m springing along effortlessly. They’re magic!

I run up to where the new sheep are and stop to take their photo.

sheep-002

As I continue down the trail, another runner approaches and I wonder if he’s jealous of my magic shoes and I decide he probably is and he also probably thinks I’m hardcore but then I remember he just saw me stop to take photos of sheep and so he actually probably thinks I’m just a girly wimp in bright green shoes.

I get to the end of the trail and cross the road to go into the cow field. I’m not sure how magic my magic shoes are and if they’ll stop me from slipping off the wet stile as I clamber over it but I manage to get over without falling off and I get into the field but I can’t see any cows, just lots and lots of cow pats and I wonder if my magic shoes will stop me skidding on a cow pat and I decide I don’t want my magic shoes covered in cow poo, and so I dodge all the cow pats and then over on the other side of the field I see cows.

sheep-004

There are cows in that photo, honest.

I get to the end of the field and it’s fenced off and I don’t know how to get any further and so I turn round and go back the way I came and try not to fall off the slippery stile and then I’m back down the trail and there’s a couple walking a couple of dogs which aren’t evil countryside devil dogs but nice happy friendly spaniels or something and the couple say ‘morning’ and I say ‘morning’ back and then I see the poodle man with his poodle and he also says ‘morning’ and I think it’s a nice change to have people saying ‘morning’ and having nice friendly happy dogs and not stupid evil countryside devil dogs and I get back to the road and I see the orange postie and for once he actually sees me running as usually I manage to go past him when I’m on a walking bit (but let’s face it, I do a lot of walking bits) and then I get to two feet of the front door and slip on a paving stone and maybe my magic shoes are only good for trails, grass, mud and puddles and not paving stones or wooden floors and I get in and my magic shoes are muddy

mud

but my socks are nice and clean and dry(ish)

dry

but I’m not sure even the Hoka Mafate’s with their magical properties are going to keep me dry at Grim.

The technical bits:

Through Rocker, Lower Ramp Angle (4mm) and the Ultra Light Weight sole and upper, we reproduce the conditions a barefoot runner will experience when running on grass or sand.

The Oversize frame (mid-sole) with 2.5cm elastic trave will absorb any hard obstacle your foot may hit, and once compressed the featherweight-density eva (-30%) will spring back under your metatarsals for acceleration.

With 50% more surface area in contact with the ground, and a mid-sole that allows the foot to recess into it by almost 2.5cm, the shoes provides protection, stability and pronation control unmatched in universal or support running shoes.

Hoka One One website

Stats:
Distance: 2.23 miles
Time: slow
Pace: slow
New pairs of hideous bright green platform trail shoes: 1
Pairs of trail shoes that prove you shouldn’t judge a shoe by its appearance: 1
Phones needing charging due to boyfriends draining the battery by playing Angry Birds: 1
Fields with sheep: 1
Fields with cows: 1
Nice happy friendly dogs: 2
Stupid countryside evil devil dogs: 0

Bunny in a Bag

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I was going to do four miles today but didn’t fancy doing the same route I did on Saturday as I get scared going down the deserted trail in case all those people-who-like-murdering-people-on-deserted-trails you hear about all the time are there, or at least one of them, and so I decide to go through the fields, even if the pathway’s not there anymore because of bastard farmer scum and I’m running down the road and there’s a plastic bag in the road with flies buzzing around it and I wonder what’s in the bag and as I get up to the bag I see two little fluffy feet sticking out of it and I think OH NO, THERE’S A BUNNY IN A BAG and I wonder how the bunny got in the bag and I feel sick and I don’t want to leave the bunny in the bag but I equally don’t want touch the bunny in a bag and so I leave the bunny in the bag where it is, squished and dead in the road with flies buzzing around it and I go through the first field which is all grass and I hate running on grass so I walk most of it and then I go through the next field which is all mud and I hate running on mud so I walk most of it and then I think well, at least it’s good training for Grim but it’s not wet mud and I think maybe I should spit on it or something but I retain my ladylike sophistication and decide not to spit and because the field’s all ploughed and stuff there’s no pathway and it’s hard to find the next stile and I think considering it’s an official route and it’s the Greensand Way and everything, why don’t they concrete the whole 108 miles or whatever it is to make it easier for people to follow the path? and I get back to the road and I decide to take the road back home and then I decide to add a bit on to my route and go through Stanhope, although everyone in Kent seems to be scared of Stanhope but this is because everyone in Kent is a wuss and hasn’t been to Hackney and Stanhope looks posh compared to Hackney and then I see a sort of high-rise, well, it has four or five storeys anyway, which is the highest rise I’ve seen since leaving London and I wonder if that’s why people are scared of Stanhope and they think all bad people live in high rises and I think they’ve probably just been watching too many gritty police dramas from the 70s or something as all the baddies usually live in high rises in them and I get through Stanhope without seeing Dennis Waterman or Lewis Collins and I decide to take the scenic route home but I forget that this will make me go past the bunny in a bag again and then I see the bunny in the bag and I wonder again how the bunny got in the bag and was it someone’s pet bunny that got attacked by a fox and they put it in a bag and threw it in the road? or maybe it was roadkill and someone stopped and put it in a bag to preserve its bunny dignity and I think I’m going to start a Facebook group called SAY NO TO BUNNIES IN BAGS and then I’m at the end of the road and there’s a Tesco van outside someone’s house and I think you lazy bastards, there’s the biggest Tesco I’ve ever seen just five minutes’ walk up the road but maybe they haven’t got a car and they’re stocking up for Christmas or something.

Stats:

Distance: 4.75 miles
Time: Ages
Pace: Slow
Bunnies in bags: 1
Sort of high-rises: 1
Actors from gritty police dramas from the 70s: 0
Tesco vans: 1

A run

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Actually, this blog post should be entitled ‘a walk’ because I walked most of my three mile run today. I seem to be walking most of my runs at the moment. And then not even blogging about them but Shaun says I have to keep blogging so I keep getting freebies and that seems like a good enough reason to me and also Helen asked me on Twitter if I was going to blog today’s run and I said my runs are VERY uneventful and all I saw was a squirrel and my postman and she said she doesn’t trust squirrels and so I said how can you not trust squirrels? and I also told her about Shaun murdering one by running over it when I was in the car and when he run it over he had an evil smirk on his evil smirky face and she said they’re too cute and must be planning world domination and I’m not sure if the squirrel I saw was planning world domination but I’d rather the squirrel was planning world domination because then the national food might be Nutrageous Bars which are very very nice but very very hard to get hold of and if the postman had world domination he might make it law to dye yourself orange and wear shorts every single day of the year, even in deep deep snow, so on balance, I think if I had to vote for either squirrels or my postman, it’d be squirrels.

Stats:

Distance: 3.1 miles
Time: Not telling, it’s too embarrassing
Pace: See above
Squirrels: 1
Dyed orange postmen: 1
Blog posts that went from talking about running to world domination very quickly: 1

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