Category: Marathon training

Marathon training day 1

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Okay, how many of you thought I was going to slack off my first day’s marathon training, huh? I’ll be honest, I almost did. If I hadn’t burnt my mouth on a pizza on Saturday, I wouldn’t still be in pain now and I wouldn’t have had to go to Tesco to get some stuff to put on the red raw roof of my mouth and, as Tesco is opposite the gym, it’d have been silly (not to mention incredibly slack) not to go in.

And yes, I know the gym isn’t the same as going for a run but I did my scheduled three miles on the cross-trainer, and going on the the cross-trainer is as near to running as you can get without actually running, isn’t it?

As for the marathon, the more I think about it, the more I know I definitely don’t want to do London. So, after I came back from the gym, I had a look for other marathons around the same time as London and came across the Bewl Water Marathon which is a small, scenic race about twenty five miles down the road from here. I emailed iliketocount at work and said I’m going to do this marathon instead and he emailed back and said looks good, we’ll go and check out the route over the Christmas break.

It’s a tiny race (only 60-odd runners this year) and it’s likely I’ll be last, but that’s fine with me. My main concern was whether I could wear my iPod or not but according to the FAQs, I can.

Yay.

Marathon training is looming

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My calendar tells me that marathon training starts on Monday. It also tells me that it’s a rest day, so at least I’m being eased in gently. I am going to try and stick to the schedule although:

a) it thinks I’m going to run 8 miles next Saturday when I haven’t run further than 1.5 miles since the Great South Run at the end of October;

b) it’s unlikely that I’ll run the London Marathon, as I don’t fancy a big run that’s full of walkers, charity runners, people in fancy dress, cheering crowds and bands along the route; and

c) it’s unlikely that I’ll complete the training anyway, as – I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before – there isn’t anywhere decent round here to run.

I will be doing Janathon though in my usual haphazard way. If you’re also doing Janathon, can you help spread the word? Tweet it, Facebook it, blog it, whatever it – lets get a record number of participants this year, eh? Ta!

[Just remembered that next Saturday is my birthday and I need to go out at lunchtime, so eight miles is unlikely. Not a good start!]

Fame at last

23 comments

At the last London Blogger’s meet up, I get interviewed by a journalist and a few days later an email from the meet up’s organiser arrives to let us know that the article’s due to appear in this morning’s Metro, but there’s none left at the station and I’m wondering if I grab one out of someone’s hands will I get a slap and I decide I probably will, so I wait until I get to Liverpool Street and grab one there and flick through it to see if it’s time for my 15 centimetres of fame and woo hoo, there I am (or at least my name is) in the middle of the paper which is the nearest I’m ever going to get to being a centrefold, then like a complete saddo I go and grab three more copies, who for I don’t know, as I won’t be giving one to my mum because then she will read my blog and then she will tell me off for drinking and swearing. 

 

And as I’m walking to work, I’m wondering if fame will change me and how soon will it be until I’m offered interviews on late night chat shows or maybe even my own chat show and shitloads of cash and there’s a girl walking along carrying a Metro and I resist the temptation to tap her on the shoulder and say “oi, I’m in that” and I’m thinking that as I’m quoted as saying people have said I’m an inspiration, then I’d better inspire myself and do my running commute home, although I am also quoted as saying I decided to give up smoking and run a marathon when at the time, my ambition was simply to get round the block without collapsing in a heap after coughing up a lung.

While I’m at work hoping that the annoying bimbo in the office next door hasn’t read the Metro this morning and developed a sudden interest in jogging blogs and found out that I called her an annoying bimbo, a girl who is also leaving comes over to me and asks if I want to have a joint leaving drinks thing.  Uh oh.  I was planning on making a quiet exit and would rather have rusty nails hammered underneath my fingernails then spend my lunch hour with some of the annoying fuckwits in here, so I say yeah, great, when? I can’t do Friday and she says on Monday, her last day and I say cool.  Bollocks.

I set off for my running commute and as I’m going down Essex Road I pass a pub that has a sign outside saying pizza two for one.  FREE PIZZA?!  Woo hoo.  I must investigate as free pizza sounds almost as good as free alcohol and outside the pub is a man smoking in a wheelchair and it reminds me that on the way to the Post Office this morning there was a man smoking in a wheelchair and it occurred to me that I didn’t think I had seen anyone in a wheelchair smoke before and wondered how he got into smoking and then I wondered why I wondered that and why shouldn’t people in wheelchairs smoke and maybe he started smoking before he was in a wheelchair.    

And all the lights are on red this evening so I get back quite quickly and I see the same man walking over the marshes that I saw last time but he didn’t murder me last time so I assume he won’t murder me tonight either and my assumption is correct and I get home without getting murdered.  Hurrah.

Stats
Distance: 6.13 miles
Time: 1:07:28
Pace: 11:00 m/m
Calories: 616
Claims to fame: 1
Men smoking in wheelchairs: 2
Leaving drinks arranged: 1
Music
Jesus & Mary Chain
Cardiacs
The Mission
Primal Scream
PJ Harvey
Jamiroquai
Nine Inch Nails
The Cribs
Foo Fighters
Devo

Sticking to my schedule (for once)

2 comments

After an all-afternoon email conversation revolving around beer, wine, tequila and Bulgarian vodka (and, um, a partridge that’s allergic to trees and went to live in a caravan in Greenland – don’t ask…), I undertake an exercise in steely resolve and keep reminding myself that I’ve got a 13 miler in the morning and so I go home and drink nothing stronger than Options hot chocolate (Belgian chocolate flavour if you really want to know).

And this week I managed to do 3 runs in a week for the second time this year. Wow. I’ll be entering marathons next. Oh, I already did. Hmm. Next week, however, I’m only going to be able to fit in one mid-week run due to going out to be criticised by my mother on Tuesday for such heinous crimes as not having a bigger house, not having a clean enough house, not having a boyfriend, not having a good enough job, and – the worst crime of all (after being vegetarian which she still reckons is just a phase, albeit a 15 year long phase) – why haven’t I provided her with any grandchildren yet? And if I ever had any doubt as to where I got my sarcasm from, I was reminded by our latest missives. Here’s an excerpt:


Mum: Can we make it Tuesday and we’ll take you out to dinner?

Me: Ok, if there’s a free dinner in it then I can make Tuesday.

Mum: I really meant we would drive you to the restaurant. I didn’t say anything about paying. I thought you could use some of the money you’ve saved by not coming up to see us.

Tsk, 73 year olds should be crocheting or something, not sending sarky emails to their offspring.

Wednesday I’ve got my evening class and on Thursday I’m going to the opening night of a new bar (yeah, I know, I’d go to the opening of an envelope if I thought there was free food and alcohol on offer), which only leaves Monday for a running commute which will only happen if I don’t go to watch the FLM tomorrow and then end up in the pub after getting trashed. Who, me? Never.

Still, I head out for my 13 miler and the first runner I see makes me feel extremely underdressed as she’s wearing a long sleeved hoody, a top underneath that and a scarf. A scarf? Blimey. Anyone would think it was Winter or something. My attire of choice today is three-quarter length leggings and a short sleeved t-shirt. I decide she’s probably training for an RfL, maybe even the City of London one on 1 June that I’m doing. In fact, all the cool people are doing that one as London Jogger will also be there, although at her current speed, I have a horrible feeling that she’s going to be finishing quicker than me. I’m not sure this can be allowed.

I go through the marshes and onto the street and run through the grassy bit that according to my sense of direction (ha) takes me towards Victoria Park and I run over a bridge that overlooks a dual carriageway and once on the other side my sense of direction leaves me and I don’t know where I am so I head in the direction I think the park is then decide that doesn’t go anywhere so I turn round and go the other way and after not too long, hooray, I see the park and on the Victoria Park & Tower Hamlets AC’s clubhouse is a sign that says “Race HQ” and I think shit, I hope the race that was postponed the other week due to inclement weather (i.e. a bit of snow) isn’t happening today instead but I can’t see any runners so I carry on going round the park, telling myself I’m not going to stop to take pictures of deer today but then it occurs to me that the deer will be bigger by now and I wonder what they look like but because I have a will of iron I don’t go and take pictures of the deer and this really is because I have a will of iron and not just because I can’t remember where they are and then I come to a lake with a fountain and I have to stop and take a photo as it’s so pretty.

I stop taking photos of pretty lakes and fountains and continue on my way and once I’m back in the main part of the park a man in a wheelchair whizzes past me, followed 30 seconds or so later by some more people in wheelchairs whizzing down the path and I’m thinking I must have run into the middle of a paralympic training session or something and then a few minutes later on her own is another wheelchair racer and I resist the urge to point and say “they went that way” and I tell myself I’m a bad person and carry on and I’m looking for the gate I came in and I eventually find it and as I get back on to the street someone’s slashed the rain clouds with a Stanley knife and I get soaked and I try to find the bridge overlooking the dual carriageway but I think I’ve gone the wrong way or I’ve already passed it and I come to a bridge going over a canal and I think that canal must lead me to familiar territory eventually if I just follow it in the right direction so I go down to the canal and hurrah, it’s not long until I know where I am again and I’m back in Hackney Marshes and there’s people playing football and they’re playing right on the edge and I think shit, how am I going to get past them? and so I run through the middle of the field and hope no football incidents occur and then I’m on the path in the foresty bit and a tall cute bloke runs past and says morning just as I’m shoving a handful of dried fruit into my mouth and I try and give him a smile but decide not to speak in the fear of spitting dried fruit over him which I’m pretty sure isn’t the best flirting technique in the world but then I’m thinking I’ve just run 9.7 miles anyway and am pretty sure I’m not looking my best and I carry on towards Walthamstow and a man in bare feet runs past me and I wonder if his running shoes got nicked over the marshes or if he likes to run in bare feet and he doesn’t look like he’s just been mugged, in fact he looks very happy and he says hi, and I decide he likes running in bare feet and he must save lots of money running in bare feet, what with running shoes being about £100 a pop, so then I decide that he’s just a cheapskate.

Today’s route

Stats
Distance: 13.12 miles
Time: 2:24:40
Pace: 11:01 m/m
Calories: 1,309
Schedules stuck to: 1
Fountains: 1
Tall cute blokes: 1
Men in bare feet: 1
Evenings of criticism approaching: 1
Music
Jesus & Mary Chain
The Levellers
Cardiacs
The Mission
Primal Scream
PJ Harvey
The Prodigy
Jamiroquai
Nine Inch Nails
The Cribs
Foo Fighters
Devo
Ween

A long running commute

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As I have resolved to do another running commute tonight, this morning I look at my marathon training schedule and it says to do 8 miles. What?!!! Yikes. 8 miles mid-week? I’ve only ever done 6 miles mid-week and I don’t have an 8 mile route and I don’t know if I’m marathon training yet or what anyway. But I take my running stuff to work with me and at lunchtime I’m trying to eat my lunch in peace and read the internet but those noisy annoying twats in the office next door are being noisy annoying twats so I mutter loudly under my breath “shut the fuck up” and hope they can hear me and I grab my iPod and go to go out for a walk but my boss is back from court and in his office and he’s got his pissed off face on and calls me in and starts going blah blah blah and hassling me and I go back to my desk to do something for him and the noisy annoying twats are still being noisy and annoying and I go to leave again and my boss apologises for going blah blah blah and hassling me and he says he’s stressed and asks if I’m going to the gym and I say no, those idiots are being annoying, I need to go for a walk and escape and he says yes, good idea, go out for an hour or so, I’ll see you later and I think bollocks, in my new job I bet my new boss won’t be telling me to go out for an hour and I go for a walk up to Waterloo bridge and I wonder how far the river is from my new job and I think it’s nearer than it is now and I go back to work and my boss has gone back to court and the door is shut on the annoying twats’ office and I think you shut the door after I’ve gone? you tossers, and the day is going so so slowly and I just want to go home and do my running commute and my boss comes back and says I can go home on time today and I think hooray, as for the last two days I’ve left late and I leave to do my commute and while I’m at the bus stop waiting for my Garmin to get a signal I think how warm it is and glad I’m wearing a short sleeved t-shirt as I haven’t even started to run yet and I’m roasting already and when my Garmin eventually gets a signal I head off and I’m still trying to decide whether I should start marathon training now as, although my new schedule started last week, I had already made myself a schedule that doesn’t start ‘til May and my brain isn’t prepared to start training yet but I don’t want to appear ungrateful for the new schedule and I give myself until I get to the Angel to decide whether this is the start of my marathon training or not and I get to the Angel and I still haven’t decided and I get to Essex Road and a woman cycles up a side road and I’m sure it’s the same woman from yesterday who was getting sworn at by a very angry man for cycling on the pavement but she doesn’t seem to be harmed so maybe she wasn’t beaten into submission although she is now on the road instead of the pavement so maybe she learnt her lesson after all and all I have to say on the cyclist v pedestrian v cars debate is CYCLISTS: KEEP OFF THE FUCKING PAVEMENT.

And as I’m going down Essex Road, I’m remembering to look out for a chemist that Londonjogger said there’s a Banksy on although I wouldn’t recognise a Banksy even if Brian Sewell dragged me over to one by the hair and said “This is a Banksy” but I eventually find a chemist in Essex Road with some graffiti on the side of it and I’m assuming this is what you meant LJ?

The rest of Essex Road remains Banksy-less and cyclists-on-pavement-less and I get halfway home and think oh no, I’ve got to do another five miles but a schedule is a schedule and a resolve is a resolve and more to the point a marathon is twenty six point two miles long and it seems that my brain has decided for me that I am marathon training now after all but I still haven’t decided how I’m going to add another two miles on in the marshes and I get to the marshes and when I get to the first bridge I decide to not go over the marshes but to run alongside the canal on the other side and rejoin the marshes at the marina which a) means I don’t have to be stuck in the middle of the marshes on my own but can run alongside the houses and feel safer; and b) it’ll make a change as I haven’t run that way before. And as I’m running alongside the canal the area has a nice feel about it and I start looking at the houses to see if any of them have a for sale sign on them as I quite fancy a house overlooking the canal and the marshes and then I see one and make a note of the estate agent and think I will investigate and see how much they are and then I can live opposite the marshes and hope my cat doesn’t fall into the canal.

I get to the rowing club at five and a half miles and it’s a mile to the street then a mile and a half home so that will bring me up to 8 miles and I think that was just about a perfect route and when I’m going back along the street I look over the wall at the train tracks and there’s a sign there I’ve never noticed before that says “7” and I look at my Garmin and it’s on 6.99 miles and I think that’s spooky or maybe I’m hallucinating and I finally get home and I’ve got to write this blog and hope I’ve managed to intertwine all the answers to the questions that were in the comments from yesterday’s post and have a shower and wash my hair and have some dinner and do my washing and get my stuff ready for the gym tomorrow lunchtime and my new journalism evening class tomorrow night and between doing that and going to work I’ve somehow got to fit some sleep in too.

Today’s route

Stats
Distance: 8.26 miles
Time: 1:33:38
Pace: 11:20 m/m
Calories: 823
Annoying twats in the office next door: 4
Days ’til I leave my job: 21
Banksys: 1
Marathon training schedules started: 1
Music
Jesus & Mary Chain
The Levellers
Cardiacs
Hard-Fi
The Doors
Electric Soft Parade
Eminem
Franz Ferdinand
The Gossip
The Killers
The Kooks
Manic Street Preachers
Pulp
Modest Mouse
PJ Harvey
Sleeper
Sex Pistols
Ween
The Who
The Wombats
Ash
Charlotte Hatherley

Bicycle rage

11 comments

After having the hangover of all hangovers on Friday, I have an abstemious weekend without a drop of alcohol passing my lips, only leaving the house to undertake such exciting activities like go to Sainsburys to buy fruit, muesli and soya milk.  So when Monday morning arrives, I bounce out of bed the second my fake sunrise comes on full of the joys of spring and skip into work looking forward to a running commute tonight.

Back in the real world however, I spend all day thinking why have I told myself I’m running home tonight?  But run home I do and as I get to Essex Road there’s a man shouting at a woman on a bicycle.  On the pavement.  Boo hiss.  He’s shouting and swearing at her and pointing to the road saying “there’s the fucking road, this is the fucking pavement” but I can’t hear what she’s saying so I turn my iPod off so I can be nosy but she’s got an annoying squeaky voice like the bimbo in the office next door so I turn my iPod back on to drown out Mrs Squeaky Voice Pavement Cyclist and the man’s still shouting and swearing at her and usually I wouldn’t condone a man shouting and swearing at a woman in a bullying and intimidating manner but she’s cycling on the pavement and therefore deserves everything she gets.  I decide to leave them to it in case the police are called as it is getting rather heated and I resist the urge to kick one of her wheels before running off really quickly and continue with my journey which remains uneventful and I’m going to try really hard to get three runs in a week from now on which only leaves tomorrow for me to do another running commute – which according to my marathon training schedule has to be extended to take in 8 miles – as my new evening class starts on Wednesday and on Thursday Gary’s coming round to be beaten at Scrabble and partake in some unabstemious behaviour involving beer and pizza and Friday’s the day before my long run and so I can’t run home that night and it would be nice if someone could invent some more days in the week please.

Stats
Distance: 6.16 miles
Time: 1:07:25
Pace: 10:56 m/m
Calories: 615
Bicycle rage incidents: 1
Days in week: Not enough
Music
Hole
Faith No More
David Bowie
The Cult
Franz Ferdinand
Jamiroquai
Sleeper
The Twang

Little birdy

6 comments

Thursday evening sees me at a pre-launch party for a new vegan restaurant in Shoreditch where there was a free bar.  Ouch.  I get up Friday morning still drunk and stagger into work, remembering to take a picture of this bird that lives round the corner from Liverpool Street station.

I sober up around lunchtime and am left with a vicious hangover, a hangover so bad it actually puts me off drinking that night.  However, this means that I wake up Saturday without a hangover and I look at the marathon schedule Bear sent me and I think it says that I have to do 15 miles today but as usual his schedule confuses me but anyway I think  bollocks to doing 15 miles and decide to go out for maybe 10 as I’ve been a bit of a slacker recently although not as slack as some people but I think I need to build my mileage back up slowly and I do 9 miles round the marshes and I upload my stats and I look at the last few months’ runs and I’ve only once this year managed to do three runs in a week and I think that’s going to have to change when I start training for the marathon in September which is only five months away.  Eek.

Stats
Distance: 9.22 miles
Time: 1:40:36
Pace: 10:55 m/m
Calories: 877
New vegan restaurants: 1
Free bars: 1
Little birdies living in the City: 1

Music
Hole
Rollins Band
B52s
Beastie Boys
Young Knives
Five Iron Frenzy
The Doors
Babes In Toyland
Sleeper
Jamiroquai
Muse
Graham Coxon
Bobby Conn
Plain White Ts
Muse

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