Speeding along at 27mph

Up bright and early today as I’ve got a busy day ahead, first going down to Maidstone Library to have a chat about being a volunteer computer buddy, then off to London (hurrah) to see a man about a website, then I’m meeting a friend for drinks and dinner and because I promised I was sticking to my schedule this time, I don’t wimp out of my scheduled two mile run and weights session, especially as when I get on the scales I want to throw them out of the window, because surely they can’t be right?  Can anyone recommend some decent bathroom scales?  I’ve got my eye on these ones, although if I get on them and they show the weight they’re showing on the picture, they’ll be following the cheapy ones out of the window.

I look out of the window and there’s some men in hi-vis jackets by the bus stop and I don’t want to run past them and I wonder if they’re waiting for a bus but I haven’t got all day to hang around here and so I’m brave and go outside and one of them’s sitting down on a chair so I don’t think they’re waiting for a bus and as I pass them they say morning and I’m confused as workmen usually say awright darlin’ or something and I say morning back even though I am confused and I start to run and I feel lighter despite what my bathroom scales say and I wonder if it’s because I’ve had about six inches cut off my hair and I decide my scales are lying as I haven’t been drinking that much or eating any crisps or chocolate except for the few white chocolate buttons that came in my free graze box (if you want one go to www.graze.com and enter the code HQTGF3G) and I get to the new cows on the corner and a fly flies into my eye and a cow runs along the field next to me and I’ve never seen a cow run before and I get to the tree and come back as I’m only doing two miles today and as I get back to the road there’s a sign saying they’re doing speed tests or something and that’ll be why the men are there and they’re still there at the bus stop and there’s a sign that tells me I’m doing 27mph and I think their sign is about as accurate as my bathroom scales.

Stats:
Distance: 2.12 miles
Time: 22:52
Pace: 10:47 m/m
Calories: 188
Lying bathroom scales: 1
Inches off hair: 6
Free boxes of food: 1
Flies in my eye: 1
Cows running: 1
Signs saying I was doing 27mph: 1