Tag: flies

Speeding along at 27mph

One comment

Up bright and early today as I’ve got a busy day ahead, first going down to Maidstone Library to have a chat about being a volunteer computer buddy, then off to London (hurrah) to see a man about a website, then I’m meeting a friend for drinks and dinner and because I promised I was sticking to my schedule this time, I don’t wimp out of my scheduled two mile run and weights session, especially as when I get on the scales I want to throw them out of the window, because surely they can’t be right?  Can anyone recommend some decent bathroom scales?  I’ve got my eye on these ones, although if I get on them and they show the weight they’re showing on the picture, they’ll be following the cheapy ones out of the window.

I look out of the window and there’s some men in hi-vis jackets by the bus stop and I don’t want to run past them and I wonder if they’re waiting for a bus but I haven’t got all day to hang around here and so I’m brave and go outside and one of them’s sitting down on a chair so I don’t think they’re waiting for a bus and as I pass them they say morning and I’m confused as workmen usually say awright darlin’ or something and I say morning back even though I am confused and I start to run and I feel lighter despite what my bathroom scales say and I wonder if it’s because I’ve had about six inches cut off my hair and I decide my scales are lying as I haven’t been drinking that much or eating any crisps or chocolate except for the few white chocolate buttons that came in my free graze box (if you want one go to www.graze.com and enter the code HQTGF3G) and I get to the new cows on the corner and a fly flies into my eye and a cow runs along the field next to me and I’ve never seen a cow run before and I get to the tree and come back as I’m only doing two miles today and as I get back to the road there’s a sign saying they’re doing speed tests or something and that’ll be why the men are there and they’re still there at the bus stop and there’s a sign that tells me I’m doing 27mph and I think their sign is about as accurate as my bathroom scales.

Stats:
Distance: 2.12 miles
Time: 22:52
Pace: 10:47 m/m
Calories: 188
Lying bathroom scales: 1
Inches off hair: 6
Free boxes of food: 1
Flies in my eye: 1
Cows running: 1
Signs saying I was doing 27mph: 1

Spit or swallow?

3 comments

After sleeping all the way through the night un-wine-induced for the first time since I got here, I decide today I really should start some kind of training, seeing as I’ve got the Crisis Square Mile Run next week and the Staplehurst Carnival ‘n’ Fete 10k in four weeks and although the Crisis run won’t be a problem (especially if we get that 15 minute standing break under London Bridge again this year, not to mention the first half mile being practically at a standstill anyway), I struggle with 10ks at the best of times.  So, even though I was dying to get back out on my SGB again, I put my trainers on and head out for the two mile route and as I get up the road I see an ambulance and an old lady looking at it and I wonder if it’s like hearses and maybe I should slow down out of respect but then I realise it’s just a BT van and the old lady is at a bus stop and the old lady says morning and I think Random Bus Stop Old Lady is very polite and I go round the corner onto the road that’s about two feet wide and an old man on a bicycle comes past and says morning and I think old people are polite round here and then a fly flies into my mouth and I think ick and it’s on the back of my tongue and I think spit or swallow? and I think, I’m vegetarian, I can’t swallow a fly and perhaps I’ll die and so I spit it out although I think spitting is disgusting and if I see anyone spitting I give them a dirty look and call them a dirty peasant and then I can hear a car coming up behind me and so I follow Adele‘s advice and stay on the road and let it go around me and it does indeed go around me and I don’t end up splatted on the road with tyre marks over my back and I get to the tree and turn off and there’s roadworks and a sign that says wait when the light shows red but the lights aren’t showing anything and I don’t think they apply to me anyway and then I get to the pavement and turn my iPod up and I’m pretty knackered and not sure I can make it up the hill butI give it a go but get too tired and stop to walk but leave my Garmin on so it can shame me with my stats for being a slacker.

 

Route

Today's route

 

Splits

Splits

 

Stats:
Distance: 2.25 miles
Time: 23:21
Pace: 10.22 m/m
Calories: 199
BT vans pretending to be ambulances: 1
Polite random old ladies at bus stops: 1
Polite old men on bicycles: 1
Flies in mouth: 1
Flies spat out: 1
Red lights: 0
Hills masterfully conquered: 0
Music:
Garbage
Faith No More
Nirvana