A light-hearted look at running, cycling and general fitness
Despite still not feeling 100% after XFR Bear made me go out drinking on Tuesday ’til 4am, tonight is the Crisis Square Mile Run which was my first ever race. Reading back this post from last year brings back just how excited and nervous I was, aah bless. Today I just feel knackered. Still, there’s always the post-race pint and pizza to look forward to. Yay.
Joggerblogger has a lot to answer for. Not only did he invent the Juneathon, but he also forgot to add in a clause that allows immunity from doing any physical exercise in the event of having spent the day before in the pub and therefore having a wee bit of a hangover.
Still, rules is rules and I did have my new red Helly Hansen t-shirt to try out so I went out for a trot round the park. Ok, so it was a feeble effort but managing to do it without throwing up was a major effort in itself. Tomorrow’s exercise will be ice skating. Ice skating is exercise, right?
Sober City of London Race for Life update
Right then, where was I? Oh yes, getting to the official start line. As we walked down to what I hoped was the front of the start line, Sarah Greene was getting on the stage and I wondered if she came by helicopter and I pushed my way down through the crowds as far as I could and stood still while everyone else did a warm up to a disco version of Yes’s “Owner of a Lonely Heart”.
After a little while everyone on the other side of the barrier started walking, leaving everyone on my side of the barrier standing still and I thought where are they going? I heard someone say that that was the runner’s side and I thought bollocks, I’m with the walkers, I need to get over there and so I pushed my way through the crowd and went under a pink ribbon acting as a barrier and joined the runners walking down to the start line.
Off we went and after half a mile the route bizarrely made you stop and go back the way we’d just came only separated by a single line of traffic cones. After 2.5 miles I was thinking I’m not going to make my target of 30 minutes and at 29 minutes and 20 seconds I saw the finish line and thought can I make it to the finish line in 40 seconds and speeded up and got there in 29:35. Yay. My happiness was shortlived though when my Garmin told me I’d only gone 2.88 miles but as you can see from the route map, my Garmin didn’t have a clue where I’d been and shows me as going through buildings.
After I’d finished and tried not to faint, I collected my medal and goody bag and then we wandered down to the Embankment and got a boat bus to Greenwich. On the way I saw this bird which I originally thought was a statue. I could have sworn the optician said I didn’t need glasses.
Here are some pics I took from the boat.
Here’s our lovely London mud-based beach.
And here’s what’s left of the Cutty Sark.
And then we got to the pub, yay. Then we left the pub to find some food and outside the pub they have this sign which they will have to remove in a few weeks.
And another pic of the river.
And a pic of the crappy Dome.
At about 5 o’clock Gary went off to play football with about five pints inside him although he had said he wasn’t going to drink because he was playing football later and I said I thought you weren’t going to drink today because you were playing football and he said in the 70s all the best footballers played pissed and I said even Kevin Keegan and he said yes, even Kevin Keegan so I went home and carried on drinking and then at about 9:30 Gary came round to continue drinking armed with The Mighty Boosh Series 2 DVD and I said I can’t put the telly on, I might accidentally watch Big Brother and then I decided that he had to hear Stereo Total’s version of the Stones’ Mother’s Little Helper and then because we were pissed we thought it would be a good idea to take turns wearing my pink straw hat and take pictures of each other.
And here’s where Gary loses any credibility he may have once had and totally scuppering his chances of pulling any German redheads who may be reading this.
But can someone please remind me that drinking for 12 hours when you have work the next day is not a good idea? Ouch.
Stats:
Miles: 0.50
Total time: 4:48
Average pace: 9.36
Total calories: 40
Juneathon days completed: 4/30
Hangovers: 1
Friends who probably won’t talk to me again after publishing a picture of them wearing a pink straw hat and using a pink fluffy phone: 1
Music:
Maximo Park
Ber-limey, and I thought no one would notice if I sort of accidentally forgot to blog after the race due to me being pissed and that.
I met up with Gary as arranged by the cashpoints at Liverpool Street station, although he was a bit late and I said oi you’re late and he said yeah, Central Line was diabolical and so off we went walking down the way I do my morning walking mini commute and there was a sign saying 4k and I said ooh the race must be coming down here, maybe I could just hide in a pub or something and jump out at the end and say yay, I win. But, as hiding in a pub near the finish would be cheating and unsport(wo)manly, we continued on our way to the official start.
And on our way to the official start it was like 28 Days/Weeks Later. But without the zombies.
There were twenty million billion people or thereabouts walking down the way I thought was the opposite way to where I thought the start line was so we followed the twenty million billion people and joined the crowd. Here’s a crowd:
I am tooooooooooooooooooooooooo pissed to write this blog. Excuse me while I go and order pizza 🙂
Right, I’m back but I didn’t order pizza, I made a cheese toasty instead, yay my iron will is still going strong.
Ok, here’s a “proper” race report.
Nutshell version:
Was good.
Did it in 29.35 yay.
Bastard Garmin said it was only 2.88 miles. Boo.
Sorry, too pissed for a race update, you’ll have to wait 🙂
It was good though and I did under 30 minutes, yay for me!
Once again, I’m asking myself why am I up at 7am on a Sunday morning? Especially as I woke up to a text from Bernard in the early hours telling me he was pissed on mead in a four storey club in Berlin which sounds like the sort of thing I should be doing instead of not being pissed and not being in a four storey club in Berlin or even semi pissed in a one storey club in London but having an early night in order to get up earlier than I get up when I have to go to work, to go and run round the City of London with 5,000 other women. So why do I do it? Oh yeah, because I enjoy it, yah! And I bet my head feels better than Bernards today too. In fact, I haven’t had a drink all week and am looking forward to my post-run drink, yay.
Right then, off to check my list to make sure I haven’t forgotten any racing essentials like my camera and make-up. Will update later and see what you other Juneathoners have been up to.
Hornsey station smells of wee. And there starts my adventure in an unknown part of North London that I had never even heard of until last year. I find my way to the park by following some people wearing their “supported by Budgens” race numbers and the park is far from the station and I’m glad I went to Hornsey station instead of Turnpike Lane, even if it does smell of wee, because Turnpike Lane tube looked about another half a mile on the map.
The race starts on time and while I’m in the crowd waiting to go two men next to me are chatting saying there’s usually people from Eastenders there and one of them thinks he saw someone from Eastenders but he doesn’t know her name but she’s blonde and shouts a lot and his mate says Barbara Windsor? And his mate says no, a younger girl and so then I’m trying to think who’s young and blonde on Eastenders and shouts a lot and I think it’s probably Carly.
At 1.8 miles we reach the hill that leads up to Alexandra Palace station and because I’m a finely tuned athlete, I run up it and overtake all the lightweights who have stopped to walk then at 2.2 miles a proper finely tuned athlete laps me and I think lapped already?!! and I’m not looking forward to doing two laps and think maybe I’ll wimp out after one lap as it’s very hot and I want to walk and I think to myself I’ll have a walking break halfway and I hope they have some water then as I finished the bottle I brought with me before we’d even started and I get to the halfway mark and they do have water and I stop and get a cup and then I’m walking drinking my water and I don’t want to throw it away and I wonder if I can run with a cup of water without it spilling everywhere and I can’t really but I don’t want to give up my cup of water so I carry on and eventually finish it and throw the cup in someone’s wheely bin and lots of people are standing outside their houses watching the race and cheering people on and I’m wondering if there was a race local to me would I stand outside my house cheering people on and I think no, I probably wouldn’t, I’d probably be upstairs playing on the internet.
At 4.2 miles I get to the hill that leads up to Alexandra Palace station again and this time I stop and walk like everyone else and then it gets flat again and I think oh shit, I’ll have to start running again and then I think I’ve only gone 4 miles but then I think but that means I only have 2 miles left and I can run 2 miles, hurrah, but then I get to 5 miles and I’m thinking of stopping and walking and I’m thinking no just carry on, only a mile to go and then I realise I’m walking and I think I’ll run again when I get to that bench up ahead but I get to the bench and carry on walking so I think I’ll run again when I get to that gate and I pass the gate and then people start overtaking me so I think fuck that and start running again and I look at my Garmin and see that I’m not going to beat my last 10k time, even though last time it involved falling over a football and then I get back to the park and the finish line, yay.
We all get herded down some cattle pen thing and I get given a banana and I think I don’t really want a banana but I take it anyway as I’m not one to look a gift banana in the mouth and I also get a bottle of water which is penguin approved.
And it says to store it in a clean, dry, rabbit free place. Why rabbit free? I’m confused.
Then I go to find my free t-shirt which is after all the only reason I’m there and as usual they haven’t got any small ones left but if I keep on eating Peanut Butter KitKats I’m not going to be fitting into small clothes for much longer anyway.
Today’s route
Stats:
Miles: 6.32
Total time: 1:10:28
Average pace: 11:09
Total calories: 533
Hills: 2
Walking breaks: 3
Bananas: 1
Bottles of water that mustn’t be kept near rabbits: 1
Music:
Mark Ronson
Klaxons
Arctic Monkeys
Good Charlotte
I had the day off work today and had lots of plans of things to do but as I didn’t get up ’til lunchtime didn’t do any of them but as it was a nice sunny day, thought I’d go for a run up the river so I put on my personal alarm and my new wireless headphones which make me look like a right berk and off I went.
As usual there were loads of daisies and dandelions and I was looking and looking and looking for something to take a picture of other than a daisy or a dandelion and eventually saw these purple things.
Then just before I got to the marina, there was this sign. What does it mean? Please don’t happy slap the swans? Damn, always someone trying to ruin my fun.
I promise I didn’t try and slap any of these swans.
Or this heron. It is a heron isn’t it?
And as there’s been an email from the Experian Robin Hood Festival of Running 2007 sitting in my inbox for a few weeks staring at me with an accusatory glare in the way that emails do saying that entries are now open which I thought I’d ignore until payday but then they sent me another email saying oi you said you were entering the half marathon so stop clicking on the link and looking at it, get your card out and just do it, so I emailed Gary and said are you still coming to Nottingham with me for the half marathon and he said yes, my exams will be finished by then and I’ll be free, yippee, so I said oh, I’d better put my entry in then, eek. And so I came home and clicked on the link again in the email that keeps staring at me and put my entry in while checking, double-checking, triple-checking and quadruple-checking that I’ve ticked the box that says half-marathon, not full marathon, and I order a t-shirt too and then it says congratulations you are in the Experian Robin Hood Festival of Running 2007. Eek.
Today’s route
Stats:
Miles: 4.25
Total time: 47:15
Average pace: 11:07
Total calories: 413
Swans getting a slap: 0
Herons: 1
Half marathons entered: 1
Music:
Catatonia – Road Rage
Primal Scream – Pills
Sultans of Ping – Indeed You Are
Belle and Sebastian – Sukie In The Graveyard
The Young Knives – John
Lush – Ladykillers
The Cult – Breathe
Black Wire – 800 Million Heart Beats
Patrick Wolf – Landsend
Citizen Fish – Heard It All Before
Foo Fighters – February Stars
I’m doing the Hornsey YMCA 10k on 20 May. I am. I just need to write out a cheque and fill in the entry form and put both in an envelope and write the address on the envelope and put a stamp on it and remember to post it.
Online entries would be much easier. I’m not very good with a pen anymore.
I wonder what the t-shirt will be like.
Oh and I entered the Crisis Square Mile Run again. I sent Dave, Gary and Kate an entry form but they either didn’t get my email or they’re ignoring it. I think they’re ignoring it.
Last night I went to see Bobby Conn at Bush Hall. Here he is in all his Bobby geniusness.
And while I was there, I bumped into someone who’s going to be reading this to see if I mention him. But I’m not going to. Ha.
And Bobby plays again next week in Elephant & Castle. Yay! I’m so excited I’ve even used an exclamation mark.
I’ve made a new page. It’s called “races”. Funnily enough, it contains details of the races I’ve been in. Not much detail to be honest but it does have pics of the t-shirts. Just the important bits then.
I’ve never been to Finsbury Park sober before. I’ve only ever been to see bands there and know where the bands play, not where people run. So armed with my map of the park I set off in the direction of where I think the start is. After a while I see a girl dressed in running gear also looking at a map so I run over to her and say are you as lost as I am? She says yes, but the marshall said it was this way, so we carry on walking up the path and get to a main road. I say I don’t think it’s this far. We look at the map again and decide we’ve walked round to the other side of the park and see a man jogging down the path wearing a race number and ask him if he knows where the start line is. He says yes, it’s down there, you should see an orange line on the ground. We say we just walked from there, we didn’t see anything. He says you were probably a bit early. We walk back down and see some runners standing about and with only 5 minutes to go I stuff my fleece in my new rucksack that I’ve brought out for a practice run and turn on my Garmin. My Garmin still hasn’t picked up a signal when the starting gun goes off and I think bugger, I can’t run without my Garmin to tell me how much longer I’ve got to go but it gets a signal after about a minute. Yah.
My new rucksack is rubbing my neck so much I think I’m either going to get my neck sawn off or it’s going to look like I’ve got a lovebite, neither scenario being particularly appealing, so after a mile and a half, I stop and get my fleece out and put it on and aaah, relief, now my rucksack is comfy and fits better and I continue on my run but no one told me someone had broken into the park overnight and planted a hill. Bastards. I have to stop again and walk up the hill. Then I have to stop again and get my water bottle out. Then I stopped again and got my water bottle out. Then I stopped again and got my water bottle out and ran with it thinking why didn’t I just do that in the first place? Duh.
The marshalls weren’t as bouncy and happy clappy as the ones from last week but that was probably because they were mostly in their 50s, not their 20s, but they did start to smile on my third lap, probably because they thought to themselves thank fuck she’s almost finished, I can go home now.
When I got to the hill on the third and final lap I was determined to not stop and walk it but to run – however slowly – up it, but I failed miserably and walked up it again. I got to the final stretch and the marshall said only 400m to go and I thought yay but, fuck me, that 400m must be the longest 400m I’ve ever done, I almost had to stop and walk again. Might as well have done a sponsored bloody walk the way I ran today.
But despite the rain, my rucksack trying to kill me, my thirst getting the better of me and that bastard hill, I still enjoyed this run far more than last week’s race. Got a better t-shirt than last week too, here it is:
So I went off with my new t-shirt and asked a man if he knew which way was Finsbury Park tube station. He said that’s where I’m going, I think it’s that way. I said oh, I thought it was the other way, I’ll follow you then. He said have you just done the run? I said yes, have you? He said yes, how did you do? I said I think I came last. He said nooooo, you won’t have been last, there’s always someone behind you. I said but someone has to be last and I think this time it was me. We chatted on our way to the tube and then he gave me his phone number. Heh, result 😉
Stats:
Miles: 4.96
Total time: 53:57
Average pace: 10:52 minute/mile
Total calories: 438
Rucksacks trying to kill me: 1
Phone numbers: 1
Music:
Belle and Sebastian – Sleep The Clock Around
Catatonia – Londinium
The Cult – Rise
Daisy Chainsaw – Natural Man
Dandy Warhols – Everyday Should Be A Holiday
Divine Comedy – Becoming More Like Alfie
Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster – Chicken
Elysian Fields – Bend Your Mind
Franz Ferdinand & Scissor Sisters – Suffragette City