Okay, I’m a bit slow off the starting line but, as much as I don’t want to use a dead man for an excuse, I was at a funeral on Monday and then I spent the rest of the day in the pub and then because I’d spent the day in the pub, I didn’t move much yesterday and because I didn’t move much yesterday, I only slept for about three seconds last night and was too tired this morning to go on the walk I’d planned to do which I was quite sad about because it was local-ish and I had planned to cycle there and back to be extra hardcore but I was too tired and the only thing I’ve eaten since Sunday is two slices of pizza so my energy wasn’t up to anything more energetic today than walk to the supermarket to get something for dinner.
Don’t laugh, but I’ve entered another marathon. I realise this makes it sound like I’ve already run about 16 of them but, as you’ll know, I haven’t actually ran any and apparently running four half-marathons doesn’t equate to two full ones, no matter how much I argue this – in my mind, perfectly valid – point.
Those of you who knew me in the days before I lost the jog in my blog will know I entered the Kent Coastal Marathon in 2008. I was all geared up for training for this. I was running consistently, I’d done a few 5ks, 10ks and a half-marathon and knew I had a marathon in me if I trained properly for one. But then I realised ‘training properly for one’ meant doing longish runs mid-week. I did one eight mile run mid-week, tacking a bit onto my 6 mile running commute then I found out MP3 players weren’t allowed in the marathon and I also found out the first half was hilly and so I thought, ‘sod that’ and that was the end of my first marathon.
The next year I got caught up in the excitement of the London Marathon when a lot of running friends got ballot places and so I entered the ballot, got rejected but continued trying and finally got a place the year before I would have got one of those ‘five rejections and you’re in’ places (that they no longer do).
I ended up deferring that place because I didn’t do any training (I’m sensing a theme here) but the next year I’d completely lost any interest I had in doing the London Marathon after going down to support and finding the crowds – to be blunt – did my fucking head in.
And there ended any interest I ever had in doing a marathon. Ever.
Until I saw the goody bag the Saxon Shore guys provide. They pride themselves on having unhealthy goody bags, mostly containing food and drink beginning with the letter C, e.g. cookies, cider (or Carling or Carlsberg), chocolate, cheddars and crisps. They even do a vegan version. And also, as anyone who’s taken part in one of their races can confirm, they do the coolest medals ever. Take a look at this beauty.
Photo credit: http://runwithemmy.co.uk/?p=404
Helen and I briefly talked at the end of last year about doing the Dymchurch Marathon at the end of this year but then I forgot all about it. But then after Helen had to drop out of Brighton because of an injury and started to look for another marathon to do, I reminded her about this one. What started off as a throwaway comment ended up in a lengthy Twitter/Facebook conversation where I ended up saying ‘okay, I’ll do it’ (I might have had a few glasses of wine when I said this) but not leaving it at that but dragging Cassie, Rachel, Carla, David, Adele and Angela into it too. Cassie and Rachel are definite yeses. We’re still working on the others BUT THEY WILL SAY YES.
My training’s going really well. I’ve paid my entry fee and downloaded a training schedule. All I need to do now is the training but I’ve been told that’s the easy bit. Also, as the marathon’s at the end of November and along the seafront, it’s going to be flipping freezing, so I’m going to need some warm clothes – maybe some gloves and a hat from e-outdoor.co.uk or somewhere similar. 26.2 miles along the seafront in the winter – I must be mad.
It is a well-known scientific and medical JogBlog fact (i.e. even more inaccurate than Wikipaedia) that if you take up running, you’re going to get injured and probably sooner rather than later.
I know I did. I got injured after my first ever race after training injury-free for months. Thankfully, I recovered in time to train for my first ever 10k but then the dreaded runner’s knee struck while training for my first ever half-marathon. Waaaaaaa.
Although that was almost nine years ago, I’m still gutted about missing my first half that I’d been looking forward to so much. I had especially been looking forward to it because Joggerblogger was also taking part and I’d never met another running blogger before (unlike now when they’re flipping everywhere like maggots in a cat food can that’s been in the bin for weeks because your housemate hasn’t taken the rubbish out and you’re on rubbish-taking-out-strike).
Lightning may never strike twice but, unfortunately, the same can’t be said for running injuries and I’ve been injured a couple of times since then. Despite my injuries being bad enough that I could barely walk, let alone run, I didn’t think they were severe enough to go and see a specialist; for example, a physiotherapist or a chiropractor. But they were painful and persistent enough for me to get them checked out, so I went along to a minor injuries unit, where each time I was told to rest and take ibuprofen. Each time I was slightly miffed not to be diagnosed with an ailment I couldn’t pronounce or show off about, but I suppose if you want to be diagnosed with something you can’t pronounce, you’re going to have to pay for it.
One injury I have recently learnt to pronounce (and spell correctly) is plantar fasciitis. This is because Helen recently got injured while training for the Brighton Marathon and, because she paid for treatment, she got a fancy name for her injury other than ‘hurty foot’. Unfortunately, Helen had to drop out of Brighton but, being hardcore and saying ‘pah’ to her plantar fasciitis, she managed to hobble round London Marathon two weeks later and even hobble around in it an impressive 6 hours something (which, let’s face it, is probably quicker than I’d ever run it in peak foot-health).
London Marathon seems to bring out the determination in people. I don’t know whether it’s because it’s likely to be a one-off opportunity (unless you’re one of those charity runner types and go for a golden bond place) and they might not get another chance or it’s simply because I know all the hardcore/stupid people. As some of you will remember, Shaun got a stress fracture at mile 11 of London 2010 but heroically/stupidly carried on the final 15 miles with a broken leg. I saw him limp past me at my spectating/drinking point at mile 23 but when I found him crumpled against a wall somewhere not too far from the finish line, he couldn’t walk an inch. We spent the evening in A&E where he was x-rayed and diagnosed with a stress fracture (see above re having to pay for a fancy name for your injury).
Luckily, my injuries have never been too serious (touch wood) but my advice to you is, if you’re in pain, stop running and rest until you’re better – you can always cross-train by doing some form of low-impact exercise such as swimming, rowing or using the elliptical trainer.
If the pain persists or gets worse, then seek help either from your GP, a walk-in centre/minor injuries unit or a specialist such as ML Chiropractic. Just remember though, if you want a fancy name, you’re going to have to pay for it.
Five years ago, I took part in the Isle of Oxney Hot Soup Dash (now called the more descriptive, but not as pretty, Tenterden 5). It was cold, wet and windy, with a never-ending hill in the middle, but they gave us soup at the end and I will always run for soup.
I had planned to do it again this year but I’ve been reviewing a Bodychef diet plan over on my Planet Veggie blog and, as well as running for soup, I also run for roast lunch and beer and, unsurprisingly, no matter how hard I studied the diet sheets, nowhere did I see roast lunch and beer mentioned.
So, I decided to do my own 5 miler here and have a cup a soup after. I told Facebook I might even make myself a medal.
My run was slow and muddy (made slower by the interruption half way by Shaun checking up on me on his mountain bike on his way out to buy some eggs but, let’s be honest, I don’t really need much of an excuse to stop running) but the weather was perfect – not too cold, sunny-ish and barely any wind.
After a shower and some dicking around on Facebook, it was time to make my lunch, which – with it being the Hot Soup Dash – had to involve some cup a soup. I made it in my new Helly Hansen mug which is black-ish when it’s cold.
Helly Hansen mug sans soup
and reveals a picture when hot liquid is added.
Souped up mug
As you’d expect from a Helly Hansen mug, it has pictures of sporty things, like this girl out running who, if you look at it from far away and squint between a tiny gap in your fingers, could be mistaken for me running through Ashford.
Will run for soup
And yes, I made myself a medal, too.
JogBlog bespoke bling is available for commission
I’m going to send this off to the London Marathon medal design dudes. They’ll be sure to commission me to make theirs in the future.
Stats
Race: The JogBlog Hot Soup Dash
Distance: 5 miles
Pace: sloooooooooooooow
Interruptions by Shaun going to buy eggs: 1
Cup a soups: 1
Bespoke medals: 1
On the way to the pub after the Ashford & District 10k a couple of weeks ago, Helen and I stopped to look in the window of Sports Direct (don’t ask me why this was more important than the pub. We must have been feeling athletic after our race or something) and I saw a jacket I had been eyeing up a few months ago had been reduced in price so we went in to have a look.
The jacket wasn’t the same jacket I thought it was but look what I found instead.
Don’t cha wish your running tights were hot like these?
DAISY PRINT TIGHTS, BABY!!!! They were £17.99, which is more than I’d usually want to pay in Sports Direct, but… you know… daisies…
Stop looking at the mess behind me. Nosy.
I went for a run in them today and they’re thick and comfy but they don’t have a drawstring and they do slip down a bit, although not as much as some tights I’ve worn in the past so they’re okay to run in but may be better suited to the gym.
You can buy similar ones in Tesco for £14, although they’re a lot thinner. I was tempted to buy some when I saw them the other day but I’d already bought my SD ones but yesterday when I went into Tesco, I bought some fab bright pink and black ones which I’ll model for you another time.
Octane Zero Runner – sold exclusively at Fitness Superstore
Back in 2007, I ran on a treadmill for 90 minutes. Because of the impact on my joints, this caused an injury which left me barely able to walk for about two months and, as any runner can tell you, getting over a running injury can take time. Lots of time. So, my advice to you is to not run for 90 minutes on a treadmill (unless you’re a nutter called Phil Anthony who ran 100km on a treadmill in 6 hours and beat the world record. Sorry – did I say ‘nutter’? I meant ‘superhero’). Obviously it’s not just treadmills that can cause an injury – road running puts a lot of pressure on your joints, too, and so the folks at Octane Fitness invented the Zero Runner.
As the name suggests, it’s a running machine with zero impact on your joints. Don’t be fooled into thinking it’s a cross between a treadmill and a cross-trainer though – it’s not. The Zero Runner has mechanical hip and knee joints that replicate human biomechanics in running and the user controls the motion, with the Zero Runner following the runner’s movement.
It’s been around for a while in the US and has now been brought to the UK, where it’s sold exclusively by Fitness Superstore, who invited me to come along to one of their stores for a demo.
On my arrival at the Tunbridge Wells store, the manager, Malcolm, greeted me, along with Ricky who set me up on the Zero Runner and talked me through it. The first thing I noticed about the Zero Runner is its size. Considering it’s for home use (you won’t find them in gyms), it’s a big machine, but, as Malcolm pointed out, compared to a treadmill – which are a few feet long – the Zero Runner’s footprint is actually quite small. On the plus side though, because it’s self-powered there’s no motor which means there’s no need to plug it in which in turns makes it quiet while also not increasing your energy bills.
Smartlink app from Octane Fitness
You can link up the Zero Runner to Octane Fitness’ free SmartLink app on your iPad and set up programs and workouts and watch videos that will walk you through everything. If you don’t have an iPad, as you’d expect, the Zero Runner has a console that shows basic stats such as pace, speed, calories burnt, distance, etc. It also has wireless heart rate technology for Polar, ANT+ and Bluetooth.
Octane Zero Runner console
So, what is it like to use? After a quick demo from Ricky, I hopped on to the Zero Runner and tried to make the paddles move and failed. I ended up kind of scissoring my legs without bending my knees. I asked Ricky how long it takes to get used to it and he said it’s usually around a minute or so, so I persevered for a while longer before jumping off and asking Malcolm (Ricky had gone to help a customer) to show me how it’s done. This time I paid more attention to his leg movements and when I went back on for another go, I quickly got into the swing of it. As I mentioned above, the Zero Runner isn’t like a cross-trainer. It doesn’t move for you – you make it move and it follows your movements and, once you realise you can make a natural running movement, it’s really effective.
When I’d finished my demo, I was so impressed I wanted one. Space is at an issue at the moment with the conservatory (where the rest of the home gym equipment is) currently being used as storage for kitchen stuff (the kitchen’s currently being demolished/decorated) but also The Zero Runner isn’t cheap at £2,699 at the time of writing. No decent piece of gym equipment is cheap though and this is a multi-purpose machine which, as well as a running machine, can be used as a cross-trainer (you can change the resistance on the arms) and skiing machine. You can also strength train on it with the included resistance band which can be attached at 7 points.
Strength training workout on the Smartlink app
To summarise,
Pros:
Zero impact to protect your joints
Replicates road running
Fully customisable flexible stride options
Ideal for runners who want to avoid injury or are coming back from injury
Great supplement to outdoor training
Multi-functional
No motor/quiet
No energy bills
More fun than a treadmill
Cons:
It’s a big machine
I can’t afford one
To see the Zero Runner in use by someone who knows what they’re doing, watch this video.
The Zero Runner is exclusive to Fitness Superstore. To arrange a demo at one of their stores in Leeds, Manchester, Tunbridge Wells, Frimley, Gloucester or Northampton, contact them on 01604 673000 or visit their website at www.fitness-superstore.co.uk/zero-runner for more information.
‘Everywhere you go, always take the weather with you’, sang Crowded House. This isn’t a sentiment I entirely agree with as, although, yes, it would be nice to bring back a bit of sun from your summer holiday, all those English people lazing about by the pool in Barbados in December won’t be best pleased if you rock up after your long haul flight from the UK with a bit of British cold wet winter weather, will they?
So, no. Don’t take the weather with you everywhere you go. Instead, dress for the weather you currently have. Take this morning, for example. Although the sky was clear and blue and, from the warmth of my centrally-heated room, the world outside my window could almost have been mistaken for summer, I knew it was going to be cold outside and I’d promised Facebook I’d go for a run (mostly to stop The Running Goth picking on me by calling me a slacker every three minutes) and so I needed to dress appropriately. Hello, thermal top from Blackspade.
Yes, I’m holding my stomach in
This top is lightweight, comfy, warm, has a high neck (if you like that kind of thing – personally, I don’t like things round my neck so I undid the zip a bit) and, as you can see, is quite long and stays in place.
This isn’t me, but you probably knew that
I also wore it out walking a couple of weeks ago (you can see a pic of the pretty countryside in which I walked here) underneath a body warmer and it kept me warm then, too.
I changed out of my slippers and put walking boots on, honest
I’d also wear it out cycling so, all in all, it’s a versatile top. If you would like a top like this, in the absence of anyone bringing back some winter sun to warm you up, the Blackspade Winter Thermal Sports Top is available from Amazon (this link takes you to one which is identical except there’s no zip on the neck).
And remember kids, ignore what Crowded House say and don’t take the weather with you – leave it where it is.
This morning, I spent far too long trying to remember if I usually get a wedgie when I’m running or at the gym. Then I thought, ha, yes, I distinctly remember standing on a treadmill hoping no one could see me picking my knickers out of my bum. Whether or not this was a common occurrence, I couldn’t remember but, seeing as I haven’t been banned from the gym because of complaints about constant unwedgieing, I reckoned this probably wasn’t on the list of runner’s ailments such as, say, black toenails or that foot injury no one knows how to pronounce.
Still, there was a reason for my wedgie wondering and that was because I’d been sent a pair of pants known as Edgies. They work on the premise of ‘Don’t get a wedgie with an Edgie’ (which isn’t actually their slogan but it certainly should be and if it appears on their website, remember where you heard it first and let me know so I can send them an invoice).
Look, Ma – no wedgie!
They work by having silicone banding round the edge of the legs. My first thought was I DON’T WANT TO WEAR RUBBER PANTS. I AM NEITHER A) INCONTINENT; NOR B) A GIMP but once on, you don’t feel them at all. In fact, Edgies are beautifully light and comfy.
You too can have a rubber band in your pants
We all know you don’t get clothes that are targeted towards *ahem* sportspeople without the word ‘wicking’ or ‘breathable’ appearing somewhere and the blurb for the Edgies was no different. I’d never thought about breathable pants before and not only because the phrase ‘wicker knickers’ sounds itchy but now I’ve tried these and without wanting to go into too much detail, after my run, I was perfectly fresh and dry ‘down there’ and I want to buy some more as I don’t want to go back to running in cotton knickers now. And yes, I know you’re wondering, and the answer is no, I didn’t get a wedgie. Thank you for asking.
Don’t be deceived by the lack of mouth. Sgt FitFlo can ROAR.
FitFlo called me a slacker on my blog yesterday. She said – and I quote – ‘Slacker – get out and do some running!’ Well, I never knew she had it in her to be so Sergeant Majorish, so I did what I was told and this morning I went to the gym and along with 20 minutes on the rowing machine and 20 minutes on the cross-trainer, I did 15 minutes on the treadmill, listening to Audiofuel’s Thru The Gears. If you haven’t got Thru The Gears – get it. It’s fabulous and free and has plinky plonky pianos and at the finish it speeds up and WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH – there’s engines and guitars a-blazing – you’re full of adrenaline and you get to the end and think HELL YEAH! and if you weren’t in the gym, you’d be lying back, lighting up a cigarette and/or turning over and going back to sleep.
You know I mentioned in the last Janathon newsletter that I was going to set up a Dressing Gown Dash Video Challenge? (If you didn’t receive the newsletter or you’re not taking part in Janathon [eh? why? whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?], you can read it here.) Well, seeing as on the very first ever Janathon my *ahem* effort was to run round the garden in my dressing gown, it seemed appropriate that I kick off Janathon’s 5th birthday in the same way but with slightly more elegance, sophistication and finesse.
So I did it in my penguin onesie.
Here’s the introduction:
And here’s the run.
Now it’s your turn. I want to see videos of you in your onesies/pyjamas/dressing gowns/anything except ‘normal’ running gear running round your garden/park/front room. I’ll post all the videos on here at the end of Janathon and the public can vote for their favourite and I’ll sort out a prize for the winner.
