Janathon Day 4: Cut short by a chainsaw

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A run had been planned for today but then I remembered it was Saturday tomorrow (damn you Christmas and your I-know-what-day-of-the-week-it-is gene remover) and Saturday is traditionally my long run day, even if my long run is only about a mile and a half.

So, I decided to do some weights instead using my PC Fitness DVD. I wish I had remembered that, because I can exercise in the smiley room now with its high ceiling, I was going to finally use my Strong Body, Fit Body DVD that I bought a while back but haven’t been able to use yet as some of it involves jumping and in an 18th Century ex-bakery with ceilings made for munchkins, jumping isn’t a good idea.

But, because I had decided to do my PC Fitness DVD, that’s what I had to stick to and so I did half an hour of upper body strength, then half an hour of lower body strength. When I was half way through the lower body strength bit, I could see the fence next door moving. Then I saw the tree behind the fence next door moving. Then I heard a chainsaw. Then I saw the top of someone’s head and I thought pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease don’t look over the fence and see me exercise, I will die of embarrassment and I had 14 minutes left and I thought, well, what’s the worst that can happen? The man next door will see me exercise and maybe tell his wife and she’ll think so what? and then I remember I don’t think his wife’s there anymore and so maybe he’ll tell his big barky dog but I don’t think his big barky dog’s there anymore and he can’t tell anyone over the pub because he barred himself from there and he can’t tell the people in the Chinese takeaway because he’s banned from there and then I thought oh no, he’ll tell the postman and then I thought so what? I’m sure the postie has seen worse things than someone exercising and anyway, the postie has seen me out running and knows I go to the gym and has had the door opened to him when I’ve been in my gym gear and then I’ve run out of people the man next door might tell who might laugh and point at me in the street and so I carry on doing my squats and lunges and stuff and he carries on doing things with a chainsaw.

Stats
Low ceilings made for munchkins: lots
Ceilings high enough to do jumping around bits: 1
Next door neighbours with chainsaws: 1
Next door neighbour’s wives: 0
Next door neighbour’s dogs: 0
Places next door neighbour is banned from: Most of them
Upper body strength: 30 minutes
Lower body strength: 30 minutes

The JogBlog guide to not looking like a New Year Newbie

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It’s that time of year every seasoned gym-goer dreads. The time of year when there are two questions whizzing round their heads:

1. Will the newbies be hogging all the machines; and

2. Will everyone think I’m a newbie too?

This morning, I had planned to go to the gym and these were the questions I had in my head so, upon opening my kit drawer, I pulled out an old pair of running tights and grabbed a t-shirt but eek, the t-shirt was a salmony-pink colour and nothing screams NEWBIE as much as pink does.

Then there was the shoe dilemma. I have two pairs of running shoes that I haven’t even tried on yet, let alone wear, but – like pink – new shoes are a no no if you don’t want to be mistaken for a newbie so I put on the purple pair I’ve recently been wearing to the gym and they even had a bit of mud on them. Result.

And yes, I know we all had to start somewhere, so I’m not really mocking (although a bit of ‘spot the newbie’ fun in the gym does help to pass the time), especially as my newbie runner kit seven years ago consisted of thick baggy tracksuit bottoms, a cotton t-shirt, a heavy hooded fleece, two normal bras worn at the same time and a pair of trainers that cost me £10 from Shoe Zone.

I needn’t have worried though, there were no newbies in the gym, just the three ‘older’ people who are usually there in the morning and I did my usual rowing machine/cross-trainer/treadmill combo without having to wait for newbies to stop hogging the machines.

Stats
Pairs of old running tights: 1
Salmony-pink t-shirts: 1
Pairs of purple trainers with a bit of mud on them: 1
Newbies in the gym: 0
Rowing machine: 20 minutes
Cross-trainer: 20 minutes
Treadmill: 20 minutes
Music
Courtney Love – Sunset Strip
Duran Duran – Electric Barberella
David Holmes – I Heard Wonders
The Black Keys – Lonely Boy
Soft Cell – Sex Dwarf
Calvin Harris – Feel So Close
Ghostpoet – I Just Don’t Know
Knifeworld – In A Foreign Way
U2 – Vertigo
Eugene McGuinness – Shotgun
The Polyphonic Spree – Running Away
The Secret Machines – Lightning Blue Eyes

Janathon Day 2–Rowing with a 5ft smiley for company

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I don’t know if a conservatory is still a conservatory if you* put a proper ceiling on it, but anyway, the conservatory now has a proper ceiling on it which means it’s warm enough to use all year now. And what do you do when you* decorate the conservatory in your** 18th Century Grade II Listed house? That’s right, you* paint a five foot smiley on the ceiling.

smiley

(Excuse the mess, it hasn’t been tidied up yet.)

Anyway, the smiley room is where the rowing machine lives and as I couldn’t be arsed to leave the house, the rowing machine is what I did for today’s Janathon.

Stats
Conservatories with proper ceilings on: 1
5ft smileys on the ceiling: 1
Rowing machine: 20 minutes

*Boyfriend
*Boyfriend’s

The long way round to Tesco

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Everyone shamed me today. All day I’ve been seeing everyone’s updates on the Facebook page or on Twitter about how they’ve Janathoned. I was still in my dressing gown until about 4pm when I eventually got out on the bike.

Because it was dark, this limited my choices of where to cycle (stupid countryside with its stupid roads with no pavements) so Shaun said we’d cycle to Tesco, but go the long way round.

Tesco is only a quarter of a mile away, but with our detour, it was a 2 mile trip. Well, it’s better than my dressing gown dash, isn’t it?

Stats (cycling)
Distance: 2 miles
Time: 15:33
Dressing gowns on until 4pm: 1
Long ways round to Tesco: 1
Janathons completed 1/1

Just an ordinary shop girl

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I’ve always wanted to work in a shop. I can remember saying to my mum when I was 16 and she wanted me to go to secretarial college and I said I’d rather work in a shop than be stuck in an office. Then she bribed me with £100 (I’m not that cheap these days) and so I went to secretarial college and got stuck in an office for twenty-two years.

Anyway, now I’ve got a shop. Ok, it’s only a virtual one, but I’m quite excited. It’s a Janathon shop and you can buy lots of Janathon things like t-shirts, hoodies, bags, mugs, and – my favourite – a dog t-shirt.

janathon_dog_tshirt

So, off you go then, visit my Cafe Press Janathon shop and fill your boots!

A birthday blog

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Happy birthday to me
I am now forty-three
Happy birthday dear JogBlog
And yes, I’ve been for a jog

After opening my presents (an octopus sculpted by the mega-talented Rich (aka Ume Toys, aka Joggerblogger),

martin

a pair of cat socks, a pair of giraffe socks, a pair of pig socks, the Miranda book, a red polka dot dressing gown and a day off cat-litter-tray-cleaning-duty from iliketocount, and a notepad from Travelling Hopefully)

notepad

and eating Ferrero Rocher for breakfast, I said I’m going for a birthday run, do you want come with me? thus completely forgetting how much I hate running with other people. As far as I’m concerned, socialising should be kept for the pub.

But, anyway, he said yes and so we went out for a rainy run. It did mean I got to wear my new Howies running top. It’s made from merino wool so it’s nice and warm. When it arrived, I thought it was too nice to be worn for running and I quite fancied wearing it with jeans to the pub (although not tonight as birthdays are dresses days). After putting it on though, it’s a bit too see-through to wear as normal clothes – if you look closely, you can see my belly button (this also acts as a warning to not look too closely if you don’t want to see my belly button).

howies-running-topThe run was wet. My feet got soaked. iliketocount tried to loop off and catch me back up until I reminded him of the ‘with’ bit of ‘running with me’.

So, the presents have been opened, the run has been done, the dress is on – time for the pub!

dress-side

Audiofuel Powerblast: Turbo Training

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audiofuel-logo

The stationary bike is what I hate most in the gym. It’s rare for me to go on it, I usually stick to the rowing machine and the cross-trainer. I do like spin classes though and so I thought, how can I make the stationary bike more fun? And then I thought, I know, I bet Audiofuel’s bike tracks will make it fun and so today I took the Audiofuel Powerblast session to the gym with me to try out.

audiofuel-powerblast

Audiofuel’s bike sessions are designed for use with a turbo trainer or spin bike (not to be used outside on the road). I have no access to a spin bike at my current gym but I thought it’d be fine on a normal stationary bike. And fine it was. This track goes on for an hour – I thought how the hell am I going to stay on a stationary bike for an hour without dying of boredom? But then I thought, ho hum, I’ll just stay on until I get bored. There was no boredom. It was all fun. In fact, it was absolutely great – Sean (founder of Audiofuel who does the coaching on the track) talks you through what you’ll be doing and tells you what cadence (RPM) to ride at (80rpm in the recovery bits and 95rpm in the speedy up bits).

Sean also tells you what gear to put it in, saying things like big back cog and little cog. Proper cyclists will probably understand this, I just changed the resistance on the bike according to how I felt (mostly by cruising on the recovery bits and making myself work harder by upping the resistance on the sprint bits).

It’s like a spin class but without an annoying instructor trying to make you wave your arms in the air or getting off her bike and ramping up the resistance on yours to full as she thinks you’re slacking.

The impossible has been made possible. Stationary bikes can be fun.

Audiofuel’s Powerblast is available on the Audiofuel website along with other tracks for the turbo trainer or spin bike, including ones coached by Chrissie Wellington (Ironman champion and spit of FitArtist).

p.s. Still plenty of time to sign up for Janathon!

Marathon training day 1

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Okay, how many of you thought I was going to slack off my first day’s marathon training, huh? I’ll be honest, I almost did. If I hadn’t burnt my mouth on a pizza on Saturday, I wouldn’t still be in pain now and I wouldn’t have had to go to Tesco to get some stuff to put on the red raw roof of my mouth and, as Tesco is opposite the gym, it’d have been silly (not to mention incredibly slack) not to go in.

And yes, I know the gym isn’t the same as going for a run but I did my scheduled three miles on the cross-trainer, and going on the the cross-trainer is as near to running as you can get without actually running, isn’t it?

As for the marathon, the more I think about it, the more I know I definitely don’t want to do London. So, after I came back from the gym, I had a look for other marathons around the same time as London and came across the Bewl Water Marathon which is a small, scenic race about twenty five miles down the road from here. I emailed iliketocount at work and said I’m going to do this marathon instead and he emailed back and said looks good, we’ll go and check out the route over the Christmas break.

It’s a tiny race (only 60-odd runners this year) and it’s likely I’ll be last, but that’s fine with me. My main concern was whether I could wear my iPod or not but according to the FAQs, I can.

Yay.

The JogBlog guide to overheating in winter

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I’ve obviously become a complete wuss since moving to Kent. In London, it’d have to be at least minus-something before I even slightly pondered wearing long sleeves. This morning, although it was 9 degrees, I put on long sleeves, my Hippsy, my touchscreen gloves and because the top I was wearing had a rather wide neck, my Buff.

buff

I’d worn my Buff a few days ago on my bike. It’s great on a bike if you don’t like strangling yourself by doing your jacket right up, they keep the draught out perfectly. And if you don’t mind looking a bit of a div, you can pull it up over your nose to keep the chill off your mouth. You can even wear it on your head. In fact, there are so many ways to wear a Buff, when you buy one, they’ll send you a booklet and a DVD demonstrating all the different ways.

Today’s run was a 2.5 miler to see how unfit I was. It was also to make me feel slightly less bad about the scales showing me in the dreaded double figures for the first time ever. I had been expecting it – I haven’t exercised properly for weeks and I’ve been eating and drinking loads, the weight didn’t come on by accident. Still, marathon training and Janathon should sort that out. Won’t it?

Stats:
Distance: 2.5 miles-ish
Time: 30 minutes-ish
Pace: Slow
Walking breaks: 0 (yay)
Long sleeve tops: 1
Hippsys: 1
Pairs of touchscreen gloves: 1
Buffs: 1
Too many pieces of clothing: 3
Digits on the scales: Double
Music
Courtney Love
Knifeworld
Mark Ronson
Gay Dad
Stornoway

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