Category: Gym

Teacher’s pet

5 comments

As I’d run yesterday, I had a look to see what gym classes were being held today and I saw that not only was there a spin class, it was also with my favourite instructor. The only downside was that it was at 12:15 and I prefer to do classes in the morning, but I thought I’d get on with my ECA (End of Course Assignment) in the morning and then head off to the gym.

Of course, what really happened is that I spent all morning catching up on my emails (nothing exciting there), asking Facebook if I should run or bike to the gym (one for bike, one for run, one for running pushing my bike and one for, um, going to the pub; thanks Scott…) and Twitter which mostly involved welcoming back Travelling Hopefully from New York and quizzing her as to whether she ran round Central Park (yes) and did she wear her new gorgeous and perfect-for-NYC dress (no).

I packed up my running commute rucksack with all the stuff I usually take to the gym, i.e. face wipes, gym towel, toiletry bag, phone, wallet, keys, gym card, gym key, bottle full of water, then remembered I was running there, not cycling and so took out the face wipes, toiletry bag, wallet and poured the water down the sink.

Now the weight of my rucksack was light enough for this lightweight, I set off for the gym.

As I went through the industrial estate, I saw a Winnie the Pooh on the ground (I’m assuming it was ‘a’ Winnie the Pooh and not the real one)

winnie

and so I picked him up (Winnie is a boy Pooh, isn’t he?) and put him in my bag and carried on my way but then I thought oh no, what if whoever dropped him comes back to look for him and I’ve taken him away for ever and then they’re really really sad: as sad as my friends’ daughter was when she lost Mr Bear (although Mr Bear wasn’t lost for ever as Ben went out the next morning and found him happily sitting on someone’s wall) but then I think oh well, they can go to McDonald’s and get another one, can’t they?

I got to the gym and there was about 45 minutes until the class started (I underestimated just how long it would take me to run 2.5 miles; I thought there’d be a lot – if not most – of walking involved) and so I went on the rowing machine for 20 minutes, then went across to the spin bikes and did 15 minutes warm up.

I decided today that I would put more effort in, as my effort at spin isn’t hugely different to my effort at cycling on the road; the main difference being that when the spin instructor says we’re going up a hill, I don’t get off and walk. So, I went very fast on the fast bits and had my resistance high on the climbing bits and the best bit was when the instructor played this:

and spinning to that was absolutely fantastic and so much fun, but then ‘She Bangs’ by Remy Martin or whatever his name is came on, but despite that it was the best spin class ever ever ever and after the class had finished and I was in the changing room getting my bag, the instructor came in and I was a girly swot and said I really enjoyed that class, it was great and she said aah, thanks, you’re really improving; I’ve really noticed a difference and I think yay for me and then I said now I’m going to run home and she said I went for an hour and a quarter run this morning then cycled here and so I think ok, you win and then I ran home and I decided to run down the dual-carriageway which was a good choice as there were cows

cows-004

and a baby cow

calf

Yay.

Stats
Run: 5 miles
Rowing machine: 20 minutes
Spin: 45 minutes

Audiofuel: Sennheiser Thru the Gears review and free download

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Update: Please note since I wrote this post, the free download is no longer available.

 

thru-the-gears

Audiofuel have teamed up with Sennheiser to compose a 15 minute soundtrack called Thru the Gears.

I was a bit hesitant at first to try it, as it’s got some mean looking man on the cover dressed in an Adidas hoodie but as I’ve played to death all the other Audiofuel tracks, I thought it would be a nice change to have something fresh to listen to while I went on the treadmill at the gym.

It’s a coaching track, so you’re told what to do and when and a girl with a nice roboty kind of voice tells you to stretch for a minute, then to walk for a minute, then to increase the speed for three minutes, then another three minutes, then two minutes, then there’s a cool down period where you walk and stretch. I didn’t bother with the stretching bit and just walked during those bits.

This session is amazing. Proper amazing. It really powers up as you get faster and faster and there’s pianos and strings and guitars and bass and everything and it all mounts up to one massive crescendo and you forget how knackered you are as all you can feel is one big fuck off buzz.

After I’d finished, I wanted to do it all over again but as I had a body pump class starting, I nipped into the changing room to get my phone out of my locker and to post on Audiofuel Sean’s Facebook wall to thank him for the big fuck off buzz I’d just had.

Then I did my body pump class and went home and told Shaun how good it was and then I told everyone on Twitter how good it was and it really was so good that I went back to the gym this morning to do it all over again and I got the same buzz, so it’s obviously not like heroin where you don’t get the same buzz after the first time (so I hear, obviously I’ve never had anything stronger than a Junior Disprin…).

And, amazingly, this track is FREE! Free to everyone! Hurrah!

Click here to be taken to the Audiofuel website for your free Thru the Gears download.

Stats
Distance: Don’t know as I wasn’t taking much notice
Time: 15 minutes
Free soundtracks: 1
Big fuck off buzzes: 2

Spin and stuff

7 comments

I did a load of exercise last week. It even included a bit of running, but it mostly included cycling to the gym and going to spin classes and a body pump class.

This week I hadn’t done much exercise, except for a bit of running on Tuesday. But today I made up for that by cycling 2.5 miles to the gym, going on the rowing machine for 15 minutes, doing a 45 minute body pump class, doing 15 minutes on the treadmill, doing another 15 minutes on the rowing machine, then doing 10 minutes on the elliptical-trainer before going up to reception and asking if they had any spaces left on the spin class that was about to start.

The man said yes.

So after all that exercise, I went and did some more in the form of a 45 minute spin class.

I’ve been going to spin classes for about a month or so now and I had originally thought that they’d be like body pump, i.e. follow a format and specific exercises to the same music each week, until they bring out the latest version (or whatever you call it). But no, spin (or RPM as it’s called in my gym) seems to be whatever the instructors choose to make it.

I’d been going mostly on Wednesdays which has a great instructor who has played, amongst dancey stuff that I’ve never heard of, a weird Nirvana ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ cover and Prince. Cool.

One week I was hardcore and after my Wednesday class, I booked myself on another class the following morning. I don’t know what music this instructor played as she had us bouncing up and down on our saddles like we were doing aerobics and I was too busy being traumatised by flashbacks of Helen’s and mine Mateivator workout the other month to notice what music was being played.

Today’s instructor was brill. None of this up and down and bouncing around and trying to keep coordinated with the others nonsense, but a really good workout alternating between fast sprints and hill climbing. She really pushed us, telling us to up the resistance (the other instructors mostly leave us to get on with it; the Wednesday instructor one morning even got off her bike and came over to mine and turned the resistance down to zero; she obviously knew I was a lightweight) and the music was great. Today’s tunes included Massive Attack, Credit to the Nation and Rage Against the Machine (turning it off before the naughty words [unlike the XFM DJ who left it on while he went to the toilet about eight years ago when I was listening to the radio at work]).

After my mammoth three hour workout, all I wanted was a cup of tea. Proper tea. With moo juice and sugar. I gave up tea years ago and only drink fruit or herbal tea or hot chocolate (and wine and beer, of course) but as I was getting changed, a cup of tea was all I wanted. Actually, I wanted a fry up too, but didn’t think they did that in the gym cafe so I settled for a cup of tea.

The cafe was empty except for one young lad with mousey brown curly hair, wearing a blue denim jacket and camouflage combats. He soon left, leaving me alone with only the sounds of the air-conditioning and the squeak of the milkshake machine to keep me company.

I finished my tea and headed off for my 2.5 mile cycle home. Passing Rocky’s Cafe and the smell of fry ups didn’t make me want one any less, but because I am a finely tuned athlete, I went home and had a home made muesli bar and some home made spicy cauliflower and potato soup and now I think I need a bit of a lie down.

Stats
Cycling: 5 miles
Rowing machine: 30 minutes
Treadmill: 15 minutes
Elliptical trainer: 10 minutes
Body pump: 45 minutes
Spin: 45 minutes
Time: 3:02:57
Calories: 1,469
Cups of tea: 1
Fry ups: 0
Young lads with mousey brown curly hair: 1

Sheep farming in Ashford

3 comments

On Saturday, Helen and I had arranged to meet up in Tonbridge (with it being 30 minutes from both of us on the train) to go for a run, but a couple of days beforehand, Helen had said she was feeling a bit wheezy and could we just go to the pub instead? I said no, what kind of alcoholic do you take me for? We are finely tuned athletes and must run and not slack ok then, fine with me, we can go for a walk and a look at the castle and so we met up and when we met up, I switched on my pedometer and we had a look round the outside of the castle

tonbridge_castle

but we couldn’t see a way to get inside the castle, so after we’d finished looking at the outside of the castle, we followed the river up to see where it went and it would appear to be a splendid place to run and after we’d finished walking up and down, Helen said we should find a pub and I looked at my pedometer and it said we’d gone 8,500ish steps and so I said let’s carry on walking until we’ve done the government recommended 10,000 steps and then we shall have earned our beer and Helen agreed with this so we walked up the road a bit and I kept checking the pedometer and eventually it got to 10,000 steps and we said yay and went to the pub, then we went and got pizza then we went to another pub and then another pub.

But that was Saturday.

Last week I transferred my gym membership to the one in town as I’ve been paying for classes in the gym in town on top of my membership to my local gym and so I decided this was a waste of money and so I enquired about membership and the membership girl said I could get student membership for £25 a month and this includes the gym, all classes, swimming pool, steam room, spa and jacuzzi and so I thought bargain and so I transferred my membership and had my induction on Sunday and the new gym has machines that I’ve never seen before, not even in my London gym, and you also get a key that you put into the machines and it tracks everything you do which is pretty cool for a statistic geek like me.

So, this morning, I wanted to go to my new gym but then I thought I might as well run, as I’ll be going to my new gym tomorrow for my spin class and then on the machines for an hour until my Specsavers appointment and so I decided to go running through the fields and when I got to one of the fields there were sheep in it and I though uh oh, do sheep bite? I’ve never been in a field with sheep in it before and all the sheep came running towards me and I thought aw, poor sheep, they probably think I’ve got food and I haven’t got any food for them, maybe I should have brought them some crisps or something although maybe not lamb flavour and I’m walking through the sheep field in case I scare them by running and I go past them and turn around and they’ve all turned round to look at me and then I’m out of the sheep field and go through another field and then back onto the road and I see a sign for a footpath I haven’t seen before and it leads up a hill and so I climb over the stile and run up the hill and then I’m higher than houses and I go over another stile and down a hill and at the bottom of the hill is a half-built housing estate and I don’t know which one it is as they all look the same and I keep on running but I don’t know where I am and I think oh no, I’m going to get lost and go on another eight mile journey and then I see a road sign that looks familiar and then I realise I’m only half a mile from home and not lost at all.

Stats

Saturday
Steps: 10,000
Castles: 1
Pubs: 3
Pizzas: 1

Sunday
Gym inductions: 1

Tuesday
Distance: 3.26 miles
Time: not telling
Pace: not telling
Sheep running towards me: lots

p.s. Bonus points if you know what the title is referring to

A run, not a plug

6 comments

You’re probably thinking that, since my last blog post of 22 February, all I’ve done is sit around listening to my new iPod Nano while reading free marathon magazines and drinking free glucose energy shots and only getting off my chair to count how many steps it takes me to go and make some hot chocolate.

Not true.

I have, on:

23 February: Cycled 2.2 miles to the gym, did a 45 minute spin class, then cycled 2.2 miles back

24 February: Cycled 2.2 miles to the station, walked round London, cycled 2.2 miles back (with added bonus bouncing when falling off drunk)

25 February: Went to the gym and did 20 minutes on the cross-trainer,  20 minutes on the rowing machine, 20 minutes on the stationary bike

26 February: Run 3.01 miles

28 February: Went to the gym and did 20 minutes on the rowing machine, 20 minutes on the treadmill, 20 minutes on the cross-trainer, 20 minutes on the stationary bike

1 March: Cycled 2.2 miles into town, went to London and cycled 2.2 miles back

2 March: Cycled 2.2 miles to the gym, did 45 minute spin class, cycled 2.2 miles back, then cycled another 1.8 round trip to the farm shop

3 March: Run 3.02 miles

So there.

Ner.

Ouch, ache, ow, ache, etc.

5 comments

Yesterday I woke up hardly able to move after Friday’s epic (for me) cycle/body pump/swim Janathlon and so this morning I didn’t think I was up for a run but asked Twitter anyway if I should run or go to the gym and only two people responded and they both responded that it was too cold to run and I should go to the gym, which means that a) they are obviously not runners; and b) therefore don’t know that runners are hardcore and not put off by the weather being a bit nippy.

But as I was aching so much, I decided to go to the gym and see if some rowing could sort my aches out. When I got to the gym, as it was the weekend, there was someone different on reception and as I went to go inside she said are you going to the gym and so I said yes and she said can you sign in please? and so I gave her my card and said I haven’t signed in once in the year I’ve been coming here and she tutted and sighed and rolled her eyes and shook her head and if she’d been standing up, she probably would have put her hands on her hips and she said you must be sneaking in then, and I think well, if sneaking in means saying hello to whoever’s on reception at the time, then yes, I’ve been sneaking in and she says you must sign in and I say ok then and then I go inside and get changed and go on the rowing machine and there are two girls walking really slowly on treadmills and not only are they walking really slowly on treadmills, they’re walking really slowly on flat treadmills and not only are they walking really slowly on flat treadmills, they’re HOLDING ON TO THE FLIPPING HANDRAILS, like they’re really going to fall off the flat treadmills that they’re walking really slowly on and I do thirty minutes on the rowing machine and then I get on the treadmill and RUN ON IT like you’re supposed to and sitting on the weights machine next to me is a girl talking on her phone and I keep giving her sideways dirty looks but she doesn’t seem to notice and I tut and she doesn’t notice that either and I wonder if I should roll my eyes and shake my head and put my hands on my hips but decide that running on a treadmill with my hands on my hips would make me look even more stupid than I usually do and the girl on the phone eventually fucks off to sit on another machine and do nothing but talk on her phone there instead and I do thirty minutes on the treadmill and then I go home and I’m aching more than I did when I got up.

Stats (rowing machine)
Time: 30 minutes
Distance: 4400 yards (I think)
Calories: 225

Treadmill
Time: 25 minutes (+ 5 minutes cool down)
Distance: 2.3 miles
Pace: 10:52 m/m
Calories: 242

Splishy sploshy splutter

17 comments

I had told myself, as part of Janathon, I would go swimming for the first time in 25 years and as the end of Janathon is nigh, it was about time I did as I was told. So last night, I booked myself onto this morning’s body pump class at the gym in town, with the intention of going swimming after.

I did body pump a few times in London but the system there is that you have to ring and book 24 hours in advance and you also have to ring at 6:30am, as otherwise it’d be fully booked by 7, so I pretty much gave up trying to do the classes there but here you can book online up to a week in advance. Result.

Body pump was great. I haven’t done it for a few years and didn’t do it very often then and so I didn’t know what I was doing but the instructor was very helpful and told me which weights to use for each track and after the 45 minutes were up, my arms were wobbling and shaking like a blancmange that’s been bought a Rabbit for Christmas.

I wasn’t entirely sure if wobbling and shaking was very conducive to a successful swim, taking into consideration I haven’t been swimming for 25 years but I was here and I’d told myself I was going swimming, so went swimming I did.

Well, kind of. I looked at the lanes and the first one said slow lane but it looked very narrow and there were already three people in it and it said to swim clockwise and so I went down to the end and got in the pool and swam. In a splashing around and kicking and trying to propel myself forward kind of way. There was a woman in front of me doing breast stroke and I was attempting a front crawl and I think I kept splashing her and when we got to the end she stopped and I said sorry, I don’t really know what I’m doing and she said she was sorry she was going so slowly and I said I haven’t been swimming for 25 years and don’t know pool etiquette and she said well, this is the slow lane but it’s not really big enough for more than one person and she went into the other lane where there weren’t any people and I carried on in the slow lane where there was a man doing breaststroke and I attempted to do breaststroke but I kept sinking and so I carried on with my splishy splashy front crawl thing and there was another girl doing front crawl but gliding gracefully through the water and I got to the end and wondered if I could do another length and thought I can’t give up after two lengths, it’d hardly be worth getting wet and so I kicked and splashed my way down to the end and back up again but I couldn’t make it all the way to the end and I was in the deep end and kept sinking, so I doggy paddled over to the side and made my way up to the end and got out and got dressed and then went to Caffe Nero and had a hot chocolate and a red pepper and smoked Italian cheese panini.

So, today’s Janathon was a triathlon of cycling, body pump and swimming.

I am hardcore.

Stats (cycling to and from the gym)
Distance: 5 miles
Time: 30 minutes
Speed: 10mph
Calories: 161

Body pump
Time: 45 minutes
Calories: 400

Swimming
Lengths: 4
Calories: 80

Hot chocolate
Calories: 280

Red pepper and smoked Italian cheese panini
Calories: 412

The morning after the night before

7 comments

Although yesterday’s workout session was traumatic and although I didn’t get home ‘til after 1am and although I was slightly hungover, it’s January and therefore Janathon and therefore I had to get my traumatised, tired and slightly hungover body out for some exercise. I decide to take it to the gym and try out the Shock Absorber sports bra I was given yesterday.

The gym only has one woman in there who is – shock horror – RUNNING on the treadmill. I get on the rowing machine and do 20 minutes on there and then I decide to go on the treadmill and I do 20 minutes on there: 16 minutes running and 4 minutes cool down.

After I’ve finished I’m soooooooooooo grateful to Janathon, as without it, I’d never have done any exercise and now I’M FEELING GOOD and over the trauma of last night.

The sports bra was good, too.

Stats (rowing machine)
Distance: 2945 metres
Time: 20 minutes
Calories: 145

Treadmill
Distance: 1.4 miles
Time: 16 minutes
Pace: 11:26 m/m
Calories: 147
Gratefuls for Janathons: 1

Ain’t got rhythm

14 comments

I was invited to the Shock Absorber Mateivator Blogger Event which was to give us the chance to preview a workout devised by certified personal trainer Elise Lindsay where you work out with your friend in order to get the best results for your body.

As I don’t have any friends in real life, I decide to ask my blogging/Facebook/Twitter friend and fellow Janathoner, Helen, if she’d like to come along and she said yay freebies, cool, ta. (They may not be Helen’s exact words.)

We arrange to meet outside the Tottenham Court Road branch of Fitness First, where the event is being held but Helen texts me and says she’s been down the length of Tottenham Court Road and can’t find it. I too have been walking up and down Tottenham Court Road and can’t find it either and so I tell her to meet me at Goodge Street Station and we’ll get lost together. When she gets to the station, she says she’s found it and it’s hidden up a side street.

Once inside, Shock Absorber’s PR girl hands us a goodie bag containing a Shock Absorber sports bra, a water bottle, and a keyring with a locker token thingy the size and shape of a pound coin (which wouldn’t be of any use in a Fitness First as their membership cards lock and open the lockers but my local gym uses pound coins).

We’re taken into a room where Elise Lindsay gives us a talk about, um, I’m not sure because every other word was ‘literally’ and that’s all I could focus on and when we’re led into the studio for our workout, I say to Helen if Elise says ‘literally’ one more time, I’m literally going to walk out.

There’s about twenty of us in there to do the workout and Helen and I hide at the back and Elise puts some REALLY LOUD AND REALLY RUBBISH music on and starts to shout over it but shouting doesn’t make any difference, as I still can’t hear what she’s saying. She starts jumping about and stuff and we’re supposed to follow her. Everyone else starts jumping about in time in a nice coordinated manner but no matter how hard I try, I can’t do it. I decide to not try and do it and just stand still instead and hope no one notices. Shouty Woman notices. Shouty Woman comes over and says ARE YOU INJURED? and I lie and say I’ve got a dodgy knee and point to my knee in case she doesn’t know what a knee is. She shouts something I can’t hear and goes back to the front of the room to shout some more and do some more of that jumping about thing.

PR girl has also noticed that I’m standing at the back not doing anything and comes over and asks if I’m ok. I say yes but I’m really uncoordinated and I can’t follow what they’re doing and I’m a runner and I do running not aerobics and she says it’s not really aerobics and I think BUT THEY’RE DOING FLIPPING STAR JUMPS and I don’t want to do star jumps and I feel stupid and ridiculous and embarrassed and self-conscious and now I feel bad for not doing anything and Shouty Woman and PR girl probably think I’m acting like some petulant sulky teenager and I want to sneak out and then Shouty Woman tells us to put boxing gloves and pads on and I’ve got the pads and Helen’s got the boxing gloves and Helen says I don’t want to punch you and I say I don’t want to be punched but Helen manages to only punch the pads and not my face and then we swap and I have to punch Helen for a while and then Shouty Woman says we’re going to do squats and lunges and I think oh no, I can’t do squats and lunges as they hurt my knees and when I used to do Body Pump the instructor didn’t let me do squats and lunges as she said I leant over one way too much and I would injure myself and so I sit down and Helen says she can’t do squats and lunges either as she’s got a bad back and the PR girl and the Shock Absorber girl have blocked the door so there’s no escape and I feel really really uncomfortable and find the whole thing excruciatingly embarrassing but after they’ve done their squats and lunges, Shouty Woman tells us to get some weights and I think hurrah, I can do weights, yay, and we do stuff with weights, then we do things with a heavy ball and then THANK FUCKING GOD it’s all over and there’s a Q&A with the Shouty Woman and I say to Helen shall we skip that and go to the pub instead and Helen says yes, that’s a splendid idea (they may not be Helen’s exact words) and so we get changed and go to the pub and have a couple of ladylike pints of lager and then we go and get pizza and garlic bread and drink lots of wine to get over the trauma of it all.

Stats (workout)
Star jumps: 0
Being punched: lots
Doing the punching: lots
Squats and lunges: 0
Things with weights: some
Things with a heavy ball: some
Hours of excruciating embarrassment: 1
Free sports bras: 1
Pints of lager: 2
Pizzas: 1
Litres of wine: 1 (between two)

Mono

12 comments

This morning early hours insomniac’s iambic pentameter was

I’m trying to remember what sleep is.

Yawn.

Still, up at 10, so not too bad considering I didn’t get to sleep ‘til after 3 and I had planned to go for an outside run but it’s raining and so I decide to go to the gym and hope no one thinks I’m a newbie and I get outside and I remember that I like running in the rain, so why I decided to wimp out, I don’t know and I walk down the road and put on my iPod and DISASTER! ONLY ONE EARPIECE IS WORKING and I try to think if I have any spare ones but I only have crappy Apple iPod ones that aren’t worth using and the only other ones I have are the wireless ones that make me look like a dork and if I wear those, people will laugh at me and anyway, Shaun’s been using them and they only have Audiofuel on and as much as I love Audiofuel, I want to listen to other stuff when I’m in the gym and anyway, I don’t want to have to turn around and go home and come out again and so I continue with my mono Shuffle and I get to the gym and it’s empty which means ALL THE NEWBIES HAVE FUCKED OFF ALREADY! Result.

I do twenty minutes on the rowing machine, trying not to let the fact that I’ve got good music (i.e. what I brought with me) in one ear and crap music (i.e. whatever’s playing on the gym stereo) in the other wind me up too much and then I go on the treadmill and run on it for 2 miles and then it goes into the cool down bit for 5 minutes and I think oh no, it’ll be walking speed soon and someone might come in and think I’m one of those newbies who walk on the treadmill and I think PLEASE DON’T JUDGE ME, I’m not a newbie, it’s just the obsessed part of me can’t get off until it’s done the cool down bit and after 30 seconds, it’s on walking speed and I walk on the treadmill for four minutes and thirty seconds and then I go on the cross-trainer for 20 minutes and then I go home and think stupid Guardian woman can fuck off, ‘coz I love my gym.

Stats (treadmill)
Distance: 2 miles
Time: 22:02
Pace: 11.01m/m
Calories: 210

Rowing machine:
Time: 20 minutes
Calories: 145

Cross-trainer:
Time: 20 minutes
Calories: 100

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