Category: Juneathon

Run run run run, run run run away

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Psychokiller by Talking Heads is currently playing on the radio and as I can’t be arsed to think up a decent title, that will have to do.

I suppose I’d better start by apologising to Hal Higdon, as his schedule said I was supposed to do 4 miles today but due to drinking Tuesday and Wednesday, I was too tired and so just did my little .75 run. Oops.

I am off out tonight too, so don’t expect any major effort tomorrow either.

Stats
Distance: 0.75 miles
Time: 8:02
Pace: 10:39
Calories: 79
Psychokillers: 1
Schedules stuck to: 0
Nights out in a row: 3
Juneathons run: 16/16

Killing calves

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Don’t worry, I’m still vegetarian, even if the house is not very vegetarian-friendly at the mo due to Shaun’s three day meat festival (I’m out three nights in a row this week so he’s unloaded Tesco of their meat aisle, by the looks of the fridge).

Although Helen made me drink beer for about eight hours yesterday in Tonbridge (I think we made it to all the pubs in the High Street; we won’t be going back to the one that charged £4.90 a pint though), I did Juneathon today by doing my little .75 lap and my legs still haven’t recovered from Sunday’s hilly 10k, as my calves were very painful at the end.

Ouch.

Stats
Distance: 0.76 miles
Time: 7:57
Pace: 10:28
Calories: 80
Hours spent in pubs yesterday: 8
Pubs visited in Tonbridge High Street: all of them
Meat festivals: 1
Killing calves: 2

Don’t f**k it up

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That’s what Shaun said to me when I announced I was going to the shop to buy some wine. Well, what he actually said was ‘if you fuck up Juneathon because you’ve drunk too much wine, you’ll never live it down’.

But my Juneathon integrity remains intact as today I went out for a run. I decided to do the very short route today which is just as well as when I got back to the front garden gate, my calves seized up, probably due to the hills in yesterday’s race.

Ouch.

Still, that’s 13 out of 13 Juneathons jogged, logged and blogged.

Stats
Distance: 0.73 miles
Time: 7:33
Pace: 10:22
Calories: 63
Wine: lots
Juneathons f***ed up: 0
Juneathons completed: 13/13

Hamstreet 10k race report

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The official website said “The course will be run along quiet country lanes and we’ll be looking to set a flat or slightly undulating course to enable some fast times to be posted.”

Hmm, nice, I thought.

But…

The Runner’s World page said: “A first-time race around the tracks and trails around the village of Hamstreet, and, primarily, through Hamstreet Woods.”

Run Britain called it ‘Hilly’

Hmm, I thought. Who is right? Surely, the official website?

No.

THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE WAS LYING ITS LITTLE HEAD OFF! BAD OFFICIAL WEBSITE! BAD BAD BAD!

It was muddy and hilly and hilly and muddy and muddy and hilly and hilly and muddy and, well, you get the picture. This picture, in fact.

You can see from my splits that the hills may have slowed me down a tad.

I’m glad the official website was wrong though, as it was great fun and definitely a challenge, as I’ve never run that far through woods before.

Unfortunately, it proved to be a touch too challenging for one poor chap who I passed as he was lying on the ground being attended to by marshalls (who tried to block my view of him; I wasn’t being a vulture, I was making sure it wasn’t Shaun [who passed him on the course and upon seeing he was in trouble tried to help him]).

Shaun was there to meet me just before the finish line and told me to give it one last big push but I had nothing left in me and I shuffled around the lap of the field and to the finish line where I was given a generic medal

instead of one engraved with ‘Hamstreet 10k’ on the back of it. Presumably they’d run out of those by the time I finished. They’d also run out of goodie bags too, but apart from those two minor points and the major point that the official website described the route in a way they couldn’t have got more wrong, I went home weary and happy and headed for the pub for lunch.

Stats
Distance:  6.25 miles
Time: 1:15:41
Pace: 12:07 m/m
Calories: 628
Lying official websites: 1
Hills: All the ones in the world ever
Flat bits: None
Mud: Lots
Generic medals: 1
Roast lunches: 1
Boats of gravy: 3

Take that, Cedric!

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That was Travelling Hopefully’s reaction when I said on Twitter that I’d beaten the stick man (not the rather diminutive chap that I live with but the virtual partner on my Garmin, who I call Cedric [Travelling Hopefully is also trying to think of a name for her’s and has a naming competition on her blog that you can enter and win some sweets]).

I had a bit of a dilemma this weekend. Last year I took part in the 35 mile Great Kent Bike Ride and had hoped to do it again this year. Doing it again this year had indeed been the plan for months and months, although there was a local 10k on the same day that I fancied doing. Then I saw that there was the Big Wheel of Kent on the day before, and so I thought ‘aha, I can do the the Big Wheel of Kent on the Saturday and the 10k on the Sunday. Sorted.

Then I looked at the route and map for the Big Wheel of Kent and the map didn’t actually say where I’d be going and the route looked all twisty and turny and confusing and so I emailed the organisers to ask if there would be arrows along the way. They said no. Bah. Another off-putting thing about the Big Wheel of Kent ride was that it was one way, so after cycling 19 miles from Ashford to Canterbury, I’d have to get the train back. The decision was made for me, however, when I checked the weather forecast for the weekend and it said that it would be raining all weekend. I don’t have a problem at all about running a race in the rain but I’m not cycling in the rain for hours and so I decided to ditch both bike rides and do the 10k on the Sunday and do a 20 mile bike ride on my own on the Saturday after I’d ran.

Because I was doing a 10k on the Sunday, I was going to stick to my schedule that said today I was to do 5 miles but I decided that would be overdoing it a bit and so this morning I thought I’d wake up Cedric and get him to pace me over two miles at 10 minute miles. Then I decided that was too quick and so I set him up for two miles at 10:30 minute miles and yay, I beat him!

Stats
Distance: 2 miles
Time: 21:02
Pace: 10:23 m/m
Calories: 213
Stick men beaten: 1

Update for cycling stats:
Distance: 20.56 miles
Time: 2:19:42
Speed: 8.8mph
Calories: 601
Hills: quite a few
Pubs went past: about 3

Back to basics

9 comments

About a year ago, I acquired a pair of Vibram Five Fingers.

vibram_five_fingers

I didn’t get any further than trying them out around the house.

But because it’s Juneathon and Juneathon (for me, anyway) is about being creative and trying new things, I thought I’d do at least one Juneathon run in them.

Today was that day.

The worst thing, by far, is trying to get your toes into the little toe pockets. Does this get easier the more you wear them? I eventually get my toes into them and decide that if I’m going to do a ‘natural’ run, then I’d also leave my iPod at home (well, I was only going to do about three quarters of a mile, so I decided I could probably live without it for that short a distance).

I thought they’d feel really weird, but they didn’t. I could feel the different textures of the ground beneath me but it wasn’t a completely barefoot feeling (probably because I wasn’t completely barefoot).

Whenever I’ve run without an iPod before (ok, on the occasion when I ran without an iPod), my feet sound tremendously heavy and the bang bang bang on the ground, along with my heavy breathing, is very off-putting. In the VFFs, I didn’t seem to be pounding the pavement quite so heavily but my breathing definitely needs sorting out. I seem to take lots of little breaths and it sounds very weird.

Because I’d read that you shouldn’t go too far on your first VFF outing, I just did a short .8 of a mile loop round by Tescos then back through the little park.

Running in VFFS was fun and if I can be bothered to try to get them back on my feet again, I’ll definitely be giving them another go, although this will be when the weather warms up; my toes were freezing at the end of the run.

Stats
Distance: 0.8 miles
Time: 8:14
Pace: 10:19 m/m
Calories: 84
Time spent trying to put on VFFs: lots
Ipods: 0
Cold toes: 10

Crisis Square Mile Run 2011

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After dozing off on the futon in the conservatory on Wednesday afternoon, I spent the evening feeling massively tired and didn’t wake up feeling any better on Thursday and so I emailed Shaun at work to tell him that I was officially pulling out of the Crisis Square Mile Run. This ended up with him coming in at 3:30pm and pulling me out of bed and dragging me on the train to London with him.

Bah.

Although, it wasn’t bah really as I felt really sad at the thought of missing Crisis as it was my first ever race and I’d done it five years in a row and if there was ever a race I wasn’t going to miss, it was that one.

This year, my feelings towards Crisis had changed and this year was going to be my last due to me not being very happy about changes to the organisation this year.

First, the entry fee went up by £6 from £12 to £18. That’s quite a big rise and makes it quite an expensive race, considering the organisers never know exactly how long the route will be (last year it was advertised at 3.5 miles but turned out to be 4.2) and so it is just a fun run.

Still, with eyebrows slightly raised, but unperturbed, I went to sign up and pay my entry fee. Now I did get perturbed. Muchly perturbed. To enter this year’s Crisis, I was FORCED to create a Virgin Money fundraising page. Fucking cheeky pisstakers. I even emailed them to tell them they were fucking cheeky pisstakers (I promise I was more tactful than that).

A few weeks later, I received a cardboard cut-out of a foot, in an envelope, with postage paid on it, reminding me to sign up for the race. I SIGNED UP WEEKS AGO, WHY ARE YOU WASTING CHARITY MONEY SENDING PIECES OF CARDBOARD IN ENVELOPES TO PEOPLE? Shaun also received the same piece of cardboard in an envelope. Was he equally rankled? Oh yes. He was rankled enough to email them and complain.

Then everyone received an email saying how delighted Crisis were to be offering chip timing this year. What the hell is the point of offering chip timing for a route that is a different distance each year? Pointless. And to be even more pointless, you could only get the pointless chip timing if you collected your chip from London the day before the race, which is fine if you live or work near the chip collection place. Not so fine if you live, say, 60 miles away in Kent.

I decided that this year would be my last run for Crisis due to the immense arseholery of this year’s organisation.

This year though, we walked the mile or so from London Bridge to Paternoster Square where we met up with Tom and Grant and picked up our red t-shirts. I usually get changed in Corney & Barrow but this year there were scary looking bouncers outside so I decided to get changed in the toilets in the square.

Because I’d told my friend Gary the bag lookerafterer I was officially pulling out of Crisis and therefore he was off bag looking after duty, we had to use the official bag storage and so we dumped our bags then went back to the square to wait for the start. Along with the usual embarrassingly cringeworthy dancing warm-up thing, everyone had to lie on the floor for a photograph to be taken to raise awareness of people sleeping on the streets.

The race started on time. Yes, on time. Proper on time and everything. 7pm on the dot. Shock shock horror horror shock shock horror, etc.

At 2 miles, I decided I’d had enough of people pushing me and cutting me up and elbowing me (that really hurt; can’t fat people have fat elbows too?) and I wondered which was the best way to get back to St Paul’s but then I thought I might as well carry on the last two miles as it’d probably take me longer to find my way back and anyway, did I really want to DNF? and I decided I didn’t really want to DNF, as it wasn’t like I was injured or anything, I was just feeling a bit sick and fed up and so I carried on and I was walking and walking until I got to the path that leads under the Millennium Bridge and I saw Shaun standing next to Tom and Grant on the bridge and so I started running as I didn’t want them to see me walking but they all had their backs to me and there were two men in white t-shirts next to them waving to someone and I thought about trying to get their attention so they could poke Shaun and make him turn round SO HE COULD SEE HIS GIRLFRIEND RUNNING UP TO THE BRIDGE but I didn’t get their attention and so Shaun didn’t see me and when I got under the bridge I thought fuck it then and started walking and I walked over Southwark Bridge and got over taken by two ladies of a certain age wearing those skanky “I Red heart 2 Run” Royal Parks Half Marathon 2009 t-shirts and I thought you flipping well don’t look like you heart to run as you’re shuffling along looking very uncomfortable indeed but they are at least going faster than me and they get quite a way ahead and so I make it my personal target to beat them and so I start running again and when I get to the bottom of Southwark Bridge, there’s stairs going down to the path that leads up to the Millennium Bridge and I think I could cheat and go down there and it wouldn’t really be cheating as it’s not like I’m going to win or the time’s being recorded or anything and anyway, I would declare it on my blog but then I think I might get caught and so I decide not to cheat and I go the proper way and as I go round the block and back onto the path, two girls who have OBVIOUSLY CHEATED run past and the marshall looks a bit surprised in a ‘where did they come from’ kind of way and I’m glad I didn’t cheat as I think the girls look like twats for cheating and I catch up the I heart to run ladies and they’re walking up the Millennium Bridge and I don’t think I’m in any danger of them doing a sprint finish and so I run past them and run all the way down the bridge to the finish line and then Tom goes home and me, Shaun and Grant go to Harry’s Bar and get one of the nicest pizzas ever and then Grant heads off to King’s Cross and me and Shaun head back to London Bridge and Shaun goes into Londis and buys butter and milk but won’t buy me a Nutrageous Bar as he says at 89p they’re too expensive. Bah.

Stats
Distance: 4.19 miles
Time: 49:38
Pace: 11:51 m/m
Calories: 438
Crisises done so far: 6
Crisises doing in the future: 0
Ladies of a certain age: 2
Girls cheating: 2
Nutrageous Bars: 0 Black Sheep

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

3 comments

In case I can’t be arsed to write a proper post later, I did a test run of .75 miles to see if I could be arsed to cycle 2.5 miles to the station, sit on a train for 1 hour 20 minutes, walk for about 30 minutes to the start of the Crisis Square Mile Run, run approximately 4 miles, drink beer and eat pizza, walk back to the train station, sit on a train for about 1 hour 20 minutes and then cycle back 2.5 miles.

The answer was no.

Except for the drink beer and eat pizza bit, but I can do that without leaving the house.

Stats
Distance: .73 miles
Time: 8.05
Pace: 11:08
Calories: 76
Energy levels: 0

Gym spin thing

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I kind of ran/walked to the gym, then I did 45 minutes at spin, then I kind of walked/ran back home.

I am grumpy today so I’m not going to write a proper blog post. So ner.

Stats:
Run/walk 1
Distance: 2.57 miles
Time: 36:25
Pace: 14:12
Calories: 215

Spin
Time: 45 minutes
Calories: approx 400

Run/walk 2
Distance: 2.48 miles
Time: 37:31|
Pace: 15:08
Calories: 197

Hangover? Tough.

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I spent the day yesterday making everyone (well, about two people anyway) jealous by telling the entire world that I was going to BAFTA for the Miranda Masterclass. It was brill. And I was in the second row and close enough to poke her (not that kind of poke, you mucky pups). And after I’d been to the brill Miranda Masterclass, I went off to meet my friend Gary for drinks and food. The plan had originally been beer and Mexican food, but somehow that turned into wine and pizza. As I hadn’t had any wine for over a month, I was a bit worried about getting the last train home but all was fine. I even made the second from last train home (although that was due to the fact that the bar in the station, although open, would only give us four minutes to drink up if we bought a drink. Duh.)

Usually after an evening drinking wine, there’d be no chance of me going out for a run, but this is Juneathon and slacking isn’t an option and no matter how hard I searched Hal Higdon’s website, nowhere does it say that I’m allowed to not stick to my schedule just because I’ve been out on the piss.

Bah.

So off I went for 3.5 miles and listened to the Audiofuel Pyramid 180 Max intervals and took the walking bits very seriously indeed. Then I thought Thru the Gears might give me a bit of a boost but I ended up just listening to it as I strolled in the sunshine.

A bit of a lame Juneathon effort from me today then. But I still did it, so there.

Stats
Distance: 3.5 miles
Time: 44:51
Pace: 12:49 m/m
Calories: 328
Miranda Masterclasses: 1
Beers: 0
Wine: Lots
Mexican food: 0
Pizzas: 1
Hal Higdons letting me off due to being hungover: 0
Lame Juneathons: 1
Juneathons run so far: 7/7

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