Janathon Day 4: Cut short by a chainsaw
A run had been planned for today but then I remembered it was Saturday tomorrow (damn you Christmas and your I-know-what-day-of-the-week-it-is gene remover) and Saturday is traditionally my long run day, even if my long run is only about a mile and a half.
So, I decided to do some weights instead using my PC Fitness DVD. I wish I had remembered that, because I can exercise in the smiley room now with its high ceiling, I was going to finally use my Strong Body, Fit Body DVD that I bought a while back but haven’t been able to use yet as some of it involves jumping and in an 18th Century ex-bakery with ceilings made for munchkins, jumping isn’t a good idea.
But, because I had decided to do my PC Fitness DVD, that’s what I had to stick to and so I did half an hour of upper body strength, then half an hour of lower body strength. When I was half way through the lower body strength bit, I could see the fence next door moving. Then I saw the tree behind the fence next door moving. Then I heard a chainsaw. Then I saw the top of someone’s head and I thought pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease don’t look over the fence and see me exercise, I will die of embarrassment and I had 14 minutes left and I thought, well, what’s the worst that can happen? The man next door will see me exercise and maybe tell his wife and she’ll think so what? and then I remember I don’t think his wife’s there anymore and so maybe he’ll tell his big barky dog but I don’t think his big barky dog’s there anymore and he can’t tell anyone over the pub because he barred himself from there and he can’t tell the people in the Chinese takeaway because he’s banned from there and then I thought oh no, he’ll tell the postman and then I thought so what? I’m sure the postie has seen worse things than someone exercising and anyway, the postie has seen me out running and knows I go to the gym and has had the door opened to him when I’ve been in my gym gear and then I’ve run out of people the man next door might tell who might laugh and point at me in the street and so I carry on doing my squats and lunges and stuff and he carries on doing things with a chainsaw.
Stats
Low ceilings made for munchkins: lots
Ceilings high enough to do jumping around bits: 1
Next door neighbours with chainsaws: 1
Next door neighbour’s wives: 0
Next door neighbour’s dogs: 0
Places next door neighbour is banned from: Most of them
Upper body strength: 30 minutes
Lower body strength: 30 minutes