Hornsey YMCA 10k race report

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Hornsey station smells of wee. And there starts my adventure in an unknown part of North London that I had never even heard of until last year. I find my way to the park by following some people wearing their “supported by Budgens” race numbers and the park is far from the station and I’m glad I went to Hornsey station instead of Turnpike Lane, even if it does smell of wee, because Turnpike Lane tube looked about another half a mile on the map.

The race starts on time and while I’m in the crowd waiting to go two men next to me are chatting saying there’s usually people from Eastenders there and one of them thinks he saw someone from Eastenders but he doesn’t know her name but she’s blonde and shouts a lot and his mate says Barbara Windsor? And his mate says no, a younger girl and so then I’m trying to think who’s young and blonde on Eastenders and shouts a lot and I think it’s probably Carly.

At 1.8 miles we reach the hill that leads up to Alexandra Palace station and because I’m a finely tuned athlete, I run up it and overtake all the lightweights who have stopped to walk then at 2.2 miles a proper finely tuned athlete laps me and I think lapped already?!! and I’m not looking forward to doing two laps and think maybe I’ll wimp out after one lap as it’s very hot and I want to walk and I think to myself I’ll have a walking break halfway and I hope they have some water then as I finished the bottle I brought with me before we’d even started and I get to the halfway mark and they do have water and I stop and get a cup and then I’m walking drinking my water and I don’t want to throw it away and I wonder if I can run with a cup of water without it spilling everywhere and I can’t really but I don’t want to give up my cup of water so I carry on and eventually finish it and throw the cup in someone’s wheely bin and lots of people are standing outside their houses watching the race and cheering people on and I’m wondering if there was a race local to me would I stand outside my house cheering people on and I think no, I probably wouldn’t, I’d probably be upstairs playing on the internet.

At 4.2 miles I get to the hill that leads up to Alexandra Palace station again and this time I stop and walk like everyone else and then it gets flat again and I think oh shit, I’ll have to start running again and then I think I’ve only gone 4 miles but then I think but that means I only have 2 miles left and I can run 2 miles, hurrah, but then I get to 5 miles and I’m thinking of stopping and walking and I’m thinking no just carry on, only a mile to go and then I realise I’m walking and I think I’ll run again when I get to that bench up ahead but I get to the bench and carry on walking so I think I’ll run again when I get to that gate and I pass the gate and then people start overtaking me so I think fuck that and start running again and I look at my Garmin and see that I’m not going to beat my last 10k time, even though last time it involved falling over a football and then I get back to the park and the finish line, yay.

We all get herded down some cattle pen thing and I get given a banana and I think I don’t really want a banana but I take it anyway as I’m not one to look a gift banana in the mouth and I also get a bottle of water which is penguin approved.

And it says to store it in a clean, dry, rabbit free place. Why rabbit free? I’m confused.

Then I go to find my free t-shirt which is after all the only reason I’m there and as usual they haven’t got any small ones left but if I keep on eating Peanut Butter KitKats I’m not going to be fitting into small clothes for much longer anyway.

Today’s route

Stats:
Miles: 6.32
Total time: 1:10:28
Average pace: 11:09
Total calories: 533
Hills: 2
Walking breaks: 3
Bananas: 1
Bottles of water that mustn’t be kept near rabbits: 1
Music:
Mark Ronson
Klaxons
Arctic Monkeys
Good Charlotte

Race day

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It is just wrong for an alarm to go off at 7am on a Sunday morning, unless you’re a nurse or something and have to go to work at the weekends or I suppose if you’re one of these strange people who go running and enter races that are on a Sunday morning instead of a more civilised time like a Saturday afternoon.

I’m lying in my bed thinking shall I get up and go to the race because I’m thinking I haven’t run for two weeks so I must be really unfit and I’m also wondering if staying up late drinking lager and eating Peanut Butter KitKat Chunky was the best race preparation and I’m also wondering if I can bear to be seen in public with a race number proudly declaring itself to be supported by Budgens.

But I decide that as I haven’t been to Hornsey before it’ll be an adventure.  Sort of.

Recovery run

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Due to having a cold all week due to too many late nights over the last couple of weeks, my best laid running and cross-training plans (they were laid so well that I’d even written them down in my diary [ok, so I also need a diary to remind me to look in my diary but that’s not the point]) went kaput in a spectacular fashion, in a I did no running and didn’t go to the gym either kind of way.

So this morning when I woke up, it was nice and sunny so I got up early and thought I’d head out for 3 miles so I put on my trainers and picked up my keys and just as I was leaving I realised I’d forgotten my Garmin. Eek. Must be ill. So I go back upstairs and retrieve my Garmin and go out into the grey and the rain which has replaced the sunshine and do what was actually a comfortable 3 miles without the urge to stop. Woo. Which is just as well as I’ve got a 10k next Sunday and I haven’t run 10k without a walking break, a look at the map break, a photo break or a can’t be arsed to run anymore break since, um, the 10k I did last October. Oops.

And we won’t mention the half-marathon I’ve entered in September which is now not only starting to look like quite a long way to run but doesn’t actually seem that far away in the future either. I blame joggerblogger. He put me up to it. Never trust a man with a rabbit.

Good luck to Angela who’s doing a triathlon tomorrow. Stratford Sprint tomorrow, Ironman next year?

Today’s route

Stats:
Miles: 3.24
Total time: 34:32
Average pace: 10:40
Total calories: 298
Music:
Mark Ronson – Diversion
Arctic Monkeys – Old Yellow Birds
Klaxons – Atlantis to Interzone
Mark Ronson – Inversion
Klaxons – Magick
Mark Ronson – Apply Some Pressure (Feat. Paul Smith)
Arctic Monkeys – Do Me A Favour
Mark Ronson – Toxic
Klaxons – Golden Skans
Klaxons – Gravity’s Rainbow

All the fun of the fair

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Jumping up and down at the Bobby Conn gig on Wednesday left my calves killing me so in a kill or cure kind of way, thought I’d go out for a short run as I’ve got a 10k in two weeks and it’s not going to run itself.

And in the smallest park in the world is the smallest fair in the world.

I just did a quick lap of the park and a quick lap of the sports field and someone had turned the weather off as it was freezing, can we have the warm weather back please?  And as it’s cold that means I’m not venturing out into my garden so most of my plants are still  at the seed-tray-in-the-kitchen stage and my garden is getting full of weeds again although it’s not as bad as last year.  Yet.

Stats:
Miles: 1.55
Total time: 16:36
Average pace: 10:44
Total calories: 162
Smallest fairs in the world: 1
Music:
Harvey Danger – Cool James
Klaxons – Gravity’s Rainbow
Baby Teeth – The Simp
Maximo Park – Hammer Horror

Running commute #3

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As my running commute #2 and a half needed rounding up, I jumped on the tube tonight and went to the train station to get the train half way home and to run the rest of the way.  I was wondering how I was going to drag myself off the train when I was half way home then realised that I didn’t need to get my train but could get any train that goes to Hackney Downs so I looked at the departure board and a few trains were going there and so I chose one that was leaving in six minutes and was stopping first at Hackney Downs but when I got to the platform it didn’t say Hackney Downs, so I got on the train and asked a woman does this train stop at Hackney Downs and she said yes, I’m pretty sure it does and so I stayed on the train thinking I hope this train does stop at Hackney Downs, I don’t want to end up in Cheshunt, I don’t even know where Cheshunt is, then over the speaker the man said that this train is calling at Hackney Downs and so off the train went and a few minutes later I’m standing outside the station wishing my Garmin would hurry up and get a signal as I’d rather be a moving target than a sitting duck and then I’m off to do my half a running commute and I get to the road that I remember being really hard to cross so I try to cross a bit earlier and a man tries to run me over because I’m standing where he wants to park, so I go back down the road and cross at the zebra crossing and then there’s another road to cross and the cars are coming from all directions and some are turning where I want to cross but hardly any of them are bothering to indicate first and so after I while I just cross and hope I don’t get run over and then I’m on Murder Mile and remember where my exit is at the roundabout and then I’m feeling pretty knackered and walk over the bridge and a cyclist is coming towards me so I have to stop anyway and then I think why is there a cyclist on the pavement?  And then two more cyclists come towards me and I’m thinking EXCUSE ME CYCLISTS, PAVEMENTS ARE FOR PEOPLE and then I realise that half the pavement is a cycle path but it’s the narrowest pavement in the world and there’s not enough room for cyclists and pedestrians and I cross the road hoping there’s no cyclists on that side of the road but I’m going the same way as the traffic now and the cyclists are coming up behind me which is even worse so I have to carry on walking and then the cycle path gets cut off by some roadworks and there’s a cyclist right behind me so I stop to let him go past me and he’s stopped too and we’re both standing there saying no, it’s ok, you go first, no you first, no you can go, and so I end up going otherwise we’re going to be standing there all night being polite and I get to B&Q and I can see all their garden stuff and I’m wishing B&Q was further away so it would be easier to boycott when I want to go shopping in the Summer for plants and flowers and stuff and then I get to the corner and I think I’ve done a lot of walking, maybe I should do some running now and I run until I get to Somerfield and buy some cat food and there’s a man in there throwing a strop but I don’t know why.  And I don’t really care.

Today’s route

Stats:
Miles: 2.70
Total time: 34:19
Average pace: 12:42
Total calories: 220
Cyclists on the pavement: millions
Men throwing a strop in Somerfield: 1
Music:
Ween – Strap On That Jammy Pac
Maximo Park – I Want You To Leave
The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster – The Dancing Girls
The Horrors – Dragger’s Rant
Bobby Conn – Winners
Belle & Sebastian – The Boy With The Thorn In His Side
Soft Cell – The Art Of Falling Apart
Catatonia – Part Of The Furniture
Levellers – One Way
Courtney Love – But Julian, I’m A Little Bit Older Than You
Mark Ronson – Amy

Early morning mile

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Insomnia strikes again and I’m awake at 4:00am and I try my usual trick of wondering what it’s like to go out for a run early in the morning but at 5:30am I’m still awake so I get up and peek through the blinds to see what 5:30am looks like when you’re sober and not on the way back from some dodgy club and it’s quiet like Christmas and I have a cup of tea and unload the dishwasher and reply to some emails and think I’ll go out for a mile but where shall I go? I don’t think the park will be open and there’s no way I’m going over the marshes at 6 o’clock in the morning so I think I’ll just go round the block and I go outside and the park is open so I go in the park hoping no one dodgy’s over there and I do a lap and it’s scary like someone’s watching me and then I see a man coming towards me but it’s ok because then I see he has a dog with him and on the second lap I see more people walking their dogs and then I see another jogger and then another jogger and for the first time in my life I’m glad other people are in the park and I just do a mile and go home and it’s still not even past the time my alarm clock usually goes off and I’ve still got two hours before I have to leave for work and I think I will fill those two hours by drinking hot chocolate and eating peanut butter (crunchy of course) on toast. Yah!

Stats:
Miles: 1.19
Total time: 10:21
Average pace: 8:43
Total calories: 99
People walking their dogs: 3
Other joggers: 2
Music:
Citizen Fish – Choice Of Viewing
The Horrors – Dragger’s Rant
The Bravery – An Honest Mistake
Ben Folds Five – Lullabye

30 minutes marshes

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I have found the best way to get back to sleep after waking up at 4am and not being able to drop off again is to wonder what it’s like to run at 5:30 in the morning. Straight back to sleep ’til 9 and wanting to keep up the momentum of my new found enthusiasm and motivation decided to leave my camera at home (eek) and see if I can get round the three mile route of the marshes in 30 minutes.

I run down the path and a rat scurries along and I wish I had my camera so I could take its picture and then I get to the footbridge and almost run head first into a spider and its web and I want to take its picture too and I get to the other side of the bridge and there’s an old man on a bicycle looking at the horses and we say “morning” to each other and I think if I get murdered he might remember me and say to the police, “oh yes, I saw a lone female jogger with really big headphones on” and there’s not many people over the marshes today, just a few cyclists and a few million midges and one gets stuck in the back of my throat and I keep coughing and the people I go past are probably thinking “she’s really unfit, listen to that smoker’s cough” and I’m thinking “I don’t smoke anymore, I’ve got a midge stuck in my throat” and I look at my Garmin and I’m half way round the marshes in 15 minutes so I’m on course for my 30 minutes and I get to the last stretch and I have to stop for a car and the car driver waves to say thank you in that car driver kind of way and I continue down the last stretch and get to the most badly painted house in the world and my Garmin says I’ve been running for 25 minutes and I’ve got half a mile to go so I speed up in a not very speedy way and I get back to my house in just under 30 minutes and just under 3 miles. Yay. I think.

Today’s route

Stats:
Miles: 2.94
Total time: 29:54
Average pace: 10:10
Total calories: 279
Old men looking at horses: 1
Midges stuck in my throat: 1
Music:
Charlotte Hatherley – Bastardo
The Young Knives – John
Cardiacs – Dive
Franz Ferdinand – 40′
Bee Gees – Staying Alive
Tori Amos – Professional Widow
Ash – Petrol
X Ray Spex – The Day The World Turned Day-Glo

Lost in music (and Hackney)

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Along with my half-marathon entry came some new found enthusiasm for this running malarkey so I got out of bed bright and early (in a bright and early 9:45 kind of way) and started on day 1 of putting some more mileage in and remembered that there was a route on the Serpentine Running Club‘s website that takes in the marshes and so I had a look to see how long that route was and it’s eleven miles and 99% off road so I chopped a few miles off it and went out hoping my new route would be about five or six miles.

I got to where the cows used to live and there’s a sign I hadn’t seen before warning people about a cattle grid.

Which would be ok but a) there’s no cows because someone stole them or ate them or something; and b) it’s not a grid. It’s a metal sheet but not a grid. And because I’m a pedant, that’s going to bug me every time I see it.

I leave Walthamstow Marshes and go into Hackney Marshes and there’s a marked difference between the amount of people in Walthamstow Marshes and the amount of people in Hackney Marshes. i.e. there’s hardly any. Am I the only person brave/stupid enough to go over Hackney Marshes?

It’s very quiet on this part of the river.

I leave the deserted river path when I can and a man comes down the path and he looks like a right cockney geezer type and he says “awright” in a cockney geezer type of way and I think he’s just saying hello and not enquiring after my general welfare so I say hi and I get to the bit where my route says I’m supposed to not go on the road like I did before but to carry on going round the sports field bit but I can’t see a path and I didn’t bring my map but I thought I was supposed to follow the river but I can’t see the river anymore so I carry on going down the side of the field and the river reappears and then there’s nothing but trees.

And I’m trying to forget I’m in Hackney and can see nothing but trees and more trees and even more trees.

And I see the cockney geezer type man again and he smiles at me and I’m glad I’m not alone in all the trees even if the only person around is a cockney geezer type but cockney geezer types are usually to be trusted unless you’re in Eastenders and called Tiffany and get runover by one but luckily enough my name isn’t Tiffany. And I’m not in Eastenders.

And I’m still running and running and thinking when are all these trees going to fuck off and I see a clearing just up ahead. Yay.

And sitting down in the clearing is a man with a small dog and I don’t usually trust men with small dogs but this man is cute and as I’m looking at him thinking I wish I had clean hair and make up on and hadn’t just ran five miles and look like a complete minger then I could ask him directions and maybe he’d give me his phone number, he looks up and sees me looking so I run off past him and I eventually see a signpost which points in the direction of Walthamstow Marshes and so I follow the direction of the signpost and cross a bridge but I still don’t know where the fuck I am and I see a path that seems to stop somewhere in the sky.

So I get to the top of the path and yay, I’m at the riding stables and know where I am now.

And so I head off in the direction of my house and take a couple of pictures of some weeds on the way.

One day I will stop taking my camera out and taking pictures of weeds. Especially as soon I’m bound to get an email from Bernard saying are you supposed to stop and take pictures when you’re training for a half-marathon? Um.

And if I don’t get my seedlings past the seed-tray-in-the-kitchen stage soon, Phil‘s going to win the gardening competition as well as the pizza competition.

But at least I’m not growing my plants in a pile of shit.

Although the spinach is still woefully lacking in compost.

Today’s route

Stats:
Miles: 6.30
Total time: 1:15:09
Average pace: 11:56
Total calories: 673
People over Walthamstow Marshes: Loads
People over Hackney Marshes: Hardly any
Cockney geezer type men: 1
Cute men with small dogs: 1
Music:
Jeff Buckley – Yard Of Blonde Girls
Junior Senior – White Trash
The Damned – White Rabbit
Justice v Simian – We Are Your Friends
The View – Same Jeans
The Fiery Furnaces – The Vietnamese Telephone Ministry
The Libertines – Up The Bracket
Ween – Untitled Baroque #3
Massive Attack – Unfinished Sympathy
Kula Shaker – Under The Hammer
Ben Folds Five – Twin Falls
The Young Knives – Tremblings Of Trails

Swan slapping

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I had the day off work today and had lots of plans of things to do but as I didn’t get up ’til lunchtime didn’t do any of them but as it was a nice sunny day, thought I’d go for a run up the river so I put on my personal alarm and my new wireless headphones which make me look like a right berk and off I went.

As usual there were loads of daisies and dandelions and I was looking and looking and looking for something to take a picture of other than a daisy or a dandelion and eventually saw these purple things.

Then just before I got to the marina, there was this sign. What does it mean? Please don’t happy slap the swans? Damn, always someone trying to ruin my fun.

I promise I didn’t try and slap any of these swans.

Or this heron. It is a heron isn’t it?

And as there’s been an email from the Experian Robin Hood Festival of Running 2007 sitting in my inbox for a few weeks staring at me with an accusatory glare in the way that emails do saying that entries are now open which I thought I’d ignore until payday but then they sent me another email saying oi you said you were entering the half marathon so stop clicking on the link and looking at it, get your card out and just do it, so I emailed Gary and said are you still coming to Nottingham with me for the half marathon and he said yes, my exams will be finished by then and I’ll be free, yippee, so I said oh, I’d better put my entry in then, eek. And so I came home and clicked on the link again in the email that keeps staring at me and put my entry in while checking, double-checking, triple-checking and quadruple-checking that I’ve ticked the box that says half-marathon, not full marathon, and I order a t-shirt too and then it says congratulations you are in the Experian Robin Hood Festival of Running 2007. Eek.

Today’s route

Stats:
Miles: 4.25
Total time: 47:15
Average pace: 11:07
Total calories: 413
Swans getting a slap: 0
Herons: 1
Half marathons entered: 1
Music:
Catatonia – Road Rage
Primal Scream – Pills
Sultans of Ping – Indeed You Are
Belle and Sebastian – Sukie In The Graveyard
The Young Knives – John
Lush – Ladykillers
The Cult – Breathe
Black Wire – 800 Million Heart Beats
Patrick Wolf – Landsend
Citizen Fish – Heard It All Before
Foo Fighters – February Stars

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