After consulting the BBC weather website at the end of last week which told me that it was going to rain today, I had planned to do my running commute on Thursday, but after consulting the BBC weather website again on Monday, it said it was going to rain on Thursday so I decided to do my running commute today.
So off I went armed with my trusty map and the bewildered looks of my work colleagues, especially the one who lives in Hackney and says you’re mad, I get the bus home, I’m too scared to walk from the station, it’s too dodgy.
I got a mile and a half before getting v. thirsty even though I had had the government recommendation of over 2 litres of water today and thought to myself I’ve only gone a mile and a half, I can’t stop yet, I’ll stop at the next shop and get some water. So I went into the shop next door to that one and got some water and soon after entered the not so nice bit of Islington and got round the corner and stuck to the main road this time instead of going up the side streets which wasn’t a whole lot better really and I got to Dalston Lane and there’s a man in my way and I’m not sure if it’s safe to speak to people round here but I risk it and say excuse me please and he gets out of my way and a bit further on I stop and consult my map and hurrah, I’m going the right way, but after a little while I come to a crossroads and in true Hackney stylee, all the road signs have been stolen and I ask a postman is this Pembury Road? He says it’s Dalston Lane. I say where’s Pembury Road, is it that one, and point to the next road. He says he doesn’t know. I resist saying you’re a crap postman, you should know the streets, and show him my map and he says, yes, it’s that road. I say thank you and go down the road he says it is and look out for a road sign to check that he’s not lying and he wasn’t lying because I see a road sign that tells me that yes, I am indeed in the right road. And not only am I in the right road but I should actually know this road because I go past the estate where many years ago a Scottish skinhead acquired a squat for me. And yes, Will, if you read this I have still got your Jimi Hendrix album, but no, you can’t have it back.
Then a bit further up the road it starts to look extremely dodgy and I’m thinking my workmate has a point. I see some traffic lights up the road so I go up to the traffic lights thinking where there’s traffic lights there should be some traffic and then I realise I’m on Murder Mile and I consult my map to see which way the roundabout is as I don’t want to stay on Murder Mile for too long and I decide to go left and hope it’s the right way and hurrah, it is the right way and I see the roundabout and I go up to the roundabout and the first exit I come to is Kenninghall Road which is the bastard road I got lost trying to find last time and I consult my map again to see which exit I want and I eventually find it and think aaaaah, just two miles to go and then I wonder if it’s light enough to take a detour and go up the alleyway and whether it would make any difference to the distance anyway and I decide that no, it’s probably the same distance but more importantly it doesn’t go past Somerfield or any other shops licensed to sell alcoholic beverages off the premises so I continue on my journey and dive into Somerfield and remember that I had to buy cat food anyway so it’s just as well I’m a pisshead otherwise my cat would have gone hungry in the morning and as I’m deciding which wine to get and wondering why Somerfield is more expensive than my local shop, the security staff rush outside and there’s some kind of commotion going on and it reminds me of my journey to work this morning when I was walking up the street and the police stopped everyone and wouldn’t let any traffic through or people walk down the road and then a few police cars came zooming up the street, sirens wailing, and two policemen with machine guns got out and a woman near me asked a man what is the building over the road and the man said it’s the Old Bailey, they must be bringing a criminal in, and then a big prison van turned up and pulled into the Old Bailey and then the excitement was over and we were allowed to continue our journeys into work and when I got into work I told my workmate what had happened and said I want to know who it was, I should have gone in there and she said but you had to come to work. So I said yes but I could say I got held up by a policeman with a machine gun and she said yeah, like they’re going to believe that and I said but it’s true, I was held up by a policeman with a machine gun and she said yes but not for the whole morning. Hmm.
Today’s route
Stats:
Miles: 6.25
Total time: 1:22:27
Average pace: 13:11 minute/mile
Total calories: 483
Times looked at map: 7
Squats acquired by Scottish skinheads: 1
Policemen with machine guns: 2
Music:
Fall Out Boy – This Ain’t A Scene It’s An Arms Race
Patrick Wolf – Running Up That Hill
Courtney Love – Sunset Strip
Soft Cell – Sex Dwarf
Baby Teeth – SixFootOne
Guillemots – Made Up Lovesong
Baby Teeth – Sarah. feat Bobby Conn
Hot Chip – And I Was A Boy From School
Ween – Push The Little Daisies
Black Wire – Attack Attack Attack
Good Charlotte – Keep Your Hands Off My Girl
Pit Er Pat – Nick Those Prawns And Burn Them
Siouxsie And The Banshees – Spellbound
The Killers – Indie Rock And Roll
The Gossip – Standing In The Way Of Control
Stereo Total – Mother’s Little Helper
Neneh Cherry – Buffalo Stance
XTC – Sgt Rock (Is Going To Help Me)
Kaiser Chiefs – Ruby
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