Brrrrrrrr

6 comments

It occurred to me that half marathons don’t unfortunately run themselves and so I spent the week trying to get inspired to get back out running again and after reading various blogs and looking at races coming up I got inspired and so this morning after waking to the smell of freshly baked bread and wondering if it really was a good idea to go out and get that second bottle of wine last night I go out to do my six mile route round the marshes and I get outside and oh my god it’s cold and I’m thinking I should have put my long sleeve top on instead of showing off in my half marathon top that I didn’t run in anyway and I get over the bridge and past the horses and my first photo opportunity comes in the form of this squirrel.

And then I see a duck waiting for the floating buffet.

And Hackney Marshes must be the place for finely tuned athletes, as they even have a bar for press-ups

and a balance beam

and I just think why?

And I look at my Garmin and it says I’ve just done 5k in 38 minutes and I think oh that’s shit, I should stop taking photos and do more running and so I get into finely tuned athlete mode and put my camera away and I get back to the stables and my Garmin says I’ve gone 4 miles and I think shit I thought this was the six mile route, I’m only a mile away from home and I get to the park and there’s a white pigeon and I don’t think I’ve seen a white pigeon before.

And as I get round the park there’s a bunch of hoodies by one of the exits and I think oh shit I don’t like the look of them and I decide to run behind the couple that just passed me in a safety in numbers kind of way and I think oh shit I hope they stay in the park and don’t go up to the sports field as I don’t want to go to the sports field and I think oh shit, what if they’ve just started out on a 20 mile run, I can’t follow them all day and they do go up to the sports field but the hoodies have moved away from the exit and I leave the park just as the mobile park patrol drives in and it goes past the hoodies and they throw stones at it and I’m glad I left the park when I did and I go home and attempt to thaw out by drinking hot chocolate and eating toasted freshly baked bread with real butter, none of your healthy low fat spread nonsense and I think I need to buy some more spider charms so I can make another spider spiral bracelet like this one.

Today’s route

Stats
Distance: 5.89 miles
Time: 1:12:24
Pace: 12:17
Calories: 520
Squirrels: 1
Ducks waiting for chips: 1
Press-up benches: 1
Balance beams: 2
Hoodies: 5
Spider spiral bracelets: 1

Music
Ben Folds Five
Moma
The Dude
Faith No More
Citizen Fish
Nirvana
Elastica
The Horrors
The Gossip
Stereo Total
Maximo Park
Mr & Mrs Smith
Cardiacs
Sex Pistols
The Kooks
White Stripes
Death House Chaplin
New Model Army
Junior Senior
Devo
Subhumans

Tagged! Again.

6 comments

I know, I know, I know, I’ve been slacking on the running front and on the whole exercise in general front too but I have been very busy carving out my new career as a famous jewellery designer, the pinnacle of which so far has undoubtedly got to be the three and a half hours I spent sat freezing my arse off in a church hall in Chingford on Saturday, having my lovingly handcrafted jewellery blatantly ignored by grannies who passed by my stall without giving it a second glance. Bah. But my luck changed later that evening when I got my first “proper” (i.e. not from anyone I know) online order. Woo hoo.

But it was back down to earth today and time to leave being a famous jewellery designer to the side while I got back to my day job as a legal secretary and I went to the gym and went on the treadmill for 15 minutes, so there you go, I’m back in action. Sort of.

And while I’m on the treadmill, because the evil warriorwoman has tagged me again and try as I might, I can’t ignore it, I’m trying to think of five random facts about me which may be vaguely interesting and I’m not coming up with much; not anything I want to share with the whole world anyway. But here we are, five random facts about me:

1.  I was the Essex under-5s chess champion, winning a trophy made out of tin foil, which I won by beating my opponent with a sneaky 3-move checkmate that I’d got out of a book in the library.

2.  I have two birth certificates, an English one and an American one. This has resulted in a marriage proposal from a friend wanting to go to America to live. I declined.

3.  I used to be a goth. And have the photos to prove it.

4.  I’m crap at chess now.

5.  I’m not a goth anymore.

See, I told you I couldn’t think of five interesting things.  And now, hurrah, I get to tag five other people.  And today’s nominations go to:

Emily – because it’s about time we had the views of a non-runner type.

Kate – to get in touch with my inner American

Rae – see above

Joggerblogger – because I think he wimped out last time after Londonjogger tagged him

The Red Bucket – because anyone who likes peanut butter and salad sandwiches must have some randomness to share

And lastly, the rules:

  • link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog
  • share 5 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird
  • tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs
  • let them know they are TAGGED by leaving a comment on their blog.

Stats:
Treadmill: 15 minutes / 8.5kph
Rowing machine: 10 minutes
Tags: 1

A miraculous recovery

7 comments

Yesterday when I got up my leg was hurting so bad that I couldn’t put any weight on it and I was limping and I thought oh no, I’m injured again, just when I thought it was safe to send off my half-marathon entry but this morning when I got up I was miraculously recovered and there wasn’t even a twinge so I thought to myself I can go for a run tonight but then I thought maybe I should take my gym stuff to work just in case my leg starts hurting and I can’t run and I can go to the gym instead but then I thought that that would just give me the excuse to wimp out of a run and go to the gym instead and I thought no wimping out, I probably won’t get to go for a run for the rest of the week and not much chance of it next week either and I go to work and people are pissing me off and I think I must stop getting pissed off, I’ve been chilled out for the last couple of weeks and I try to think of excuses why not to run tonight and I wonder if I poke my leg with a pencil or something it will start hurting again and then I’ll have an excuse and I leave work without poking my leg with a pencil and I get on the train and two girls sit next to me and squish me and they start chatting and I think fucking hell, now I can’t read my book and I think to myself well people are allowed to talk and then I think I haven’t got time to run, I need to get a travelcard and cat  litter on the way home and I need to do my washing and I need to wash my hair and I think they’re crap excuses and I get home and there’s a form for the tabletop sale that I can sell my jewellery at in two weeks but I don’t understand it as the commas and full stops are in the wrong place and it’s been typed on a typewriter and photocopied about a billion times and is a bit blurry and I wonder if I should offer to type it for them or will they just think I’m interfering and then I remember that the tabletop sale’s the day after I’ve been to see the best band in the world ever and that it’s not very likely I’m going to get up early to set up a table, although in the letter it says I can set up my stall from 0am on the day so maybe I’ll just stagger down there pissed at  midnight after the gig and do it but then I think it’s probably a typo and I wonder what time I do have to be there and I think I’ll have to ring them again and go through the Little  Britain scenario that I went through on Saturday and I go upstairs to get changed but I can’t resist a peek at Facebook to see if anyone’s thrown a sheep at me today but there’s no sheep but I have been yacked on, whatever that means, and also there’s a message from Emily to say that she’s added my link to her blog and her jewellery website and she’s written a blog post about my jewellery so I think the least I can do is return the favour and tell everyone to go and visit Emily’s Beads and buy all her jewellery and I look at my schedule which doesn’t make much sense due to it being written backwards and I think it says to do 3 miles which is just as well as that’s all I was going to do anyway and I get changed and leave the house and head off on my 2.7 mile route and wonder if I go down the market will it be 3 miles and the streets are busy busy busy and I’m dodging around people and I go round a man at the bus stop only to run straight into TWO CYCLISTS ON THE FUCKING PAVEMENT, and then a group of lads sprint past me on both sides and one of them scratches my arm so I stop to investigate but it’s not bleeding but just stinging and I think you little wanker and I go down the market and I remember that I want to get some info from the council about getting a market stall but only on a Saturday and I think I can pretend I’m in Eastenders and I wonder who I can be and I think I’ll be Carly, she’s pretty, but then I think that it would help if I was blonde and pretty and 15 years younger and I think well I certainly don’t want to be Stacey as that would involve snogging a ginger bloke and I think yes, I’ll be Carly, plus it would be pretty cool to have Phil Daniels as your dad and I get to the end of the market and I go home and I have done three miles, hurrah.

Stats:
Distance: 3.17 miles
Time: 35:38
Pace: 11:13
Calories: 251
Badly typed forms: 1
Cyclists on the pavement: 2
Scratched arms: 1
Music:
Muse
The Twang
The Cure
Hole

Saturday shuffle

11 comments

My half-marathon training schedule was adhered to last week in a not adhered to at all kind of way due to lying on Facebook about going out for a run on Monday (but I think it’s ok to lie on Facebook, it’s only if you lie on your blog you’re in trouble) and choosing to stay in and make jewellery instead; Tuesday I had to go to the agency after work to be spoon fed lines to say at Wednesday’s interview but I did go to the gym at lunchtime; Wednesday’s interview after work didn’t happen because of the HR woman being off sick but because I hadn’t planned to run, I didn’t; Thursday night I was out watching  bands in Camden at the Dublin Castle; and Friday I went to the gym at lunchtime.

So here we are again on Saturday and I wake up knackered but remember that I can’t fit into the patchwork cords I bought in Camden on Thursday and think I won’t ever fit into them if I lie in bed all day and I wonder if I can lose enough weight to fit into them in two weeks and I think probably not but I get up anyway and go downstairs and the bread machine bleeps to signal it’s finished doing its breadmaking thing and I think I won’t piss about this morning, I’ll just reload my iPod and get out straight away but by the time my iPod’s reloaded and I’ve got changed it’s 8:45 and I think it’s almost as late as it was last Saturday when I went out and I go round the marshes and I’m going so very very very slowly and every step is an effort and I do 5k in a pathetic 36 minutes and I get to the station and my Garmin says I’ve done 3.75 miles and I think hang on a minute, last week when I got here my Garmin said I’d done 4 miles, where’s the .25 miles gone? and I think oh no, it won’t be 5 miles when I get back and I wonder if I can do a lap of the park when I get back and I think no way, I’m knackered and I get to the park and I’ve only done 4.6 miles and I think ok, I’ll do a lap of a park and I go into the park and there’s footballers in there and there’s almost as many footballs as there are footballers and they’re making me nervous and I don’t want a football to come over and trip me up and I think I can’t do a lap of the park, I’m too scared of falling over a football, I’ll have to do a figure of 8 and cut it short and I loop round and I leave the park and I’ve only done 4.8 miles and I think well that will have to be enough and I get home and my Garmin says I’ve done 4.93 miles and I think well that’s near enough 5 miles but next week I have do to 6 miles, eek and I promise to myself that next week I will run 3 times, yeah, right.

Stats
Distance: 4.93 miles
Time: 57:52
Pace: 11:43
Calories: 411
Training schedules adhered to: 0
Job interviews: 0
Music
Devo
The Cure
Hole
The Shins
Baby Teeth

An extra mile

6 comments

I wake up to the fake sunrise and hear something going bleep bleep bleep downstairs and I think what’s that? and I realise it’s my watch alarm and I wonder why I don’t hear it every morning and I realise that that’s because it’s Saturday and usually I have my alarm clock bleeping at me and my mobile alarm bleeping at me and I get up after a restless night of dreams of grey furry hats, grey fleeces, orange umbrellas and male rape and my quilt’s half on the floor and I think I’m too tired to go for a run and I think I have to go for a run, I even forsook my Friday night bottle of wine so I could get up early and I think but I always get up early on a Saturday anyway and then I think I’ve got lots and lots of things to do this weekend and I think but I have already organised everything I’m going to do in my head and my time is accounted for including going out for a four mile run first thing Saturday and then I think I don’t even want to do a stupid half-marathon anyway, I’m not going to be able to put the training in, what’s going to happen when I have to do a ten mile run and I’m going to have to be out of the house for about two hours? and I think oh well I don’t have to think about that at the mo and I think it’s only 8:20, I should go now while it’s still quite early and then I think I need more songs on my iPod so I waste some more time putting songs on my iPod and then I think I need The Cure on my iPod too and I look to see how many Cure songs I have and it’s 144 and I think bollocks, that’ll take ages to load and I really want to leave the house now so I don’t bother with The Cure and I eventually make it out of the house at 9:00 and go to do my four mile route and I also decide to go without my camera, eek, and I get to the marshes and as I approach where the cows live I’m hoping they’re not standing up waving and pulling funny faces just because they know I haven’t got my camera with me but they’re not, they’re just standing around doing their usual cow thing and I decide to run up to the marina which is a way I haven’t gone before and I can’t see the bridge and the marshes look never ending and then I get to the bridge and the boats and I can see into someone’s kitchen and it looks really cosy and they’ve got a washing machine and I think I really really want to live on a boat and I think I could live on a boat and make jewellery and I think that would really suit me then I wouldn’t have to deal with annoying people in offices and I’m running alongside the river and a woman is running towards me on the same side and I think oh shit, I wonder if I can force her to move to the other side, I don’t want to go near the water’s edge, I might fall in and she does move and then a cyclist comes along and I think I’m certainly not moving for a cyclist and he moves and then another cyclist comes along and I wonder if my luck with people moving out of the way has run out and I think it has as he’s hugging the side and I think well I’m not moving but he doesn’t look like he’s moving either so I think I could either get run over or get on to the verge so I move out of his way and the wanker doesn’t even bother to say thank you and then I get to the bridge that has Tottenham Marshes on the other side and I think the last time I was up here was in July at my last race and after that I couldn’t hardly walk for two months and I think was that really only three months ago? it seems ages ago and it was nice and sunny then and I got sunburnt and that must have been the only hot day of the year and then I’m back on the street and I get to the tube station and my Garmin says I’ve done 4 miles exactly and I think oh shit, I was only meant to do 4 miles and I’m about a mile from my house and I think never mind, it’s all downhill from here, I’ll just do another mile and I think my house must be in a dip as whichever way I approach it, it’s down a hill and I think that means that if there’s a flood, my house will be submerged and I think that doesn’t sound like a good thing and then there’s a man walking in front of me and he turns round and moves to the side and I think don’t bother mate, I’m going so slowly I’m never going to catch you up and then he gets to a tree and stops to let me get past so I feel obliged to speed up so he can get on his way and I just about manage to say thanks and then I’m half a mile from home and think now I can spend all day staring at code and customising my new online jewellery shop, which at the mo looks like it’s going to consist purely of bracelets as I made another one last night

and then I’m home after doing my longest run for ages and ages, hurrah.

Today’s route

Stats
Distance: 4.91 miles
Time: 52:52
Pace: 10:45
Calories: 451
Cyclists getting out of my way: 1
Cyclists not getting out of my way: 1
Music
The Twang
Muse
The Polyphonic Spree
Hole
Black Wire
The Damned

A forgetful day

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Yesterday I was going to go for a run after work but I forgot and I also forgot that I was going to make pizza last night although I’d been to Sainsburys to buy pizza making provisions and so I went to the gym today at lunchtime and when I got to the changing room I realised I’d forgotten my trainers which is really dumb as they live on the floor under my desk where I put my rucksack and so I went back to work and thought I’ll do a run tonight and then the electricians came to do some electrician thing to my computer and other electrical appliances and I thought what shall I do while they’re doing their electrician thing? and I thought I know, I’ll go for a cigarette, and then I thought oh but I don’t smoke anymore, how could I forget? and the agency rings me with news of the media firm who they sent my cv over to and says they want to see you and I think hooray and wonder if she’s lying about them giving a 10% bonus each year because agencies lie a lot and the salary they’re offering is only a couple of hundred a year more than I’m getting now and she says she’ll see if they can see me one evening after work and will call me back and later in the afternoon there’s a missed call but no message and I wonder if it’s the agency and my boss lets me go home early and I get on the train and call the agency and say did you phone me, I had a missed call? and she says yes, can you go for an interview on Wednesday at 5? and I say yes, that’s fine and she says can you come and see me on Tuesday after work and I say yes I can be there about 5:30 and she says that’s great and I think I’m going to have to lie to my boss about why I want to leave early although he doesn’t usually ask why but I’m going to have to sneak into the toilets after work and get changed into something smart and hope no one sees me leave the building and I hate the sneaking about but I want a new job although my boss is still pretending to be a normal person but the bimbo in the office next door is still annoying and so a new job would be good I think and I remember I’m going out for a run tonight and I think I can’t really be bothered but then I think this half-marathon’s not going to run itself and although it’s five months away it’s going to take me that long to train and I think but it’s cold and then I think it’s going to be cold every day between now and March and anyway, since when did I mind running in the cold? and I think but I’m bored of the songs on my iPod and I think I can put new songs on my iPod and then the Polyphonic Spree comes on and I think I’ll listen to Polyphonic Spree, they always liven me up and I get home and there’s three packages of jewellery supplies waiting for me along with the Bobby Conn tickets that I’ve been waiting for since August and I think yay, it’s like Christmas every day in this house and I’m still trying to force myself to get outside and run and I go upstairs to put the Polyphonic Spree and Black Wire on my iPod and I get changed and go downstairs and inspect the packages and bollocks, one of them is the wrong stuff but never mind and I say goodbye to the cat and I get out the door and I do my 2.7 mile route but I want to make it 3 miles tonight, although I should be doing 4 but I only have one 4 mile route and I hate it hate it hate it and I need to find a new one and I keep going near my house and I still haven’t done 3 miles so I keep going until I do and I eventually get home and I think that was a nice run, why can’t I just remember how good it is sometimes and then I might have less of a struggle getting out the door and I go upstairs and my internet connection is down and I think bollocks and I phone Virgin Media and there’s a recorded message saying if you live in Walthamstow you might find a disruption to your internet service and I think eek.

Today’s route:

Stats:
Distance: 3.11 miles
Time: 34:47
Pace: 11:10
Calories: 271
Interviews: 1
Internet connections: 0
Music:
Polyphonic Spree
Black Wire

Multi-tasking

2 comments

Royal Mail eventually decide to deliver some wire to me and I stay up late drinking wine and making this

and this

and after I’ve finished drinking wine and being a famous jewellery designer, I set up the bread machine and go to bed and awake to the smell of freshly baked bread and then I remember that along with being a famous jewellery designer and a domestic goddess, I am also a finely tuned athlete and I go out for a four mile run round the marshes and there’s a nice blue sky

and I decide to start with the most boring mile in the world ever although it does have a lake

but the lake is mostly hidden by a fence and then I get to the bridge where Ben came off his bike and broke his jaw and I look under the bridge and I think I can see someone on the other side but my eyesight is shit and I’m not really sure and I get through the bridge and there is someone there and I can’t see a dog as I only trust people over the marshes if they have dogs but he hasn’t got a dog but he has got a scooter and I think should I trust people with scooters? and I think na, people with scooters are well dodgy and I get round the corner and there’s a swan cleaning itself

and I get to the marina and run alongside the river and I get to the bridge that gives a nice view of the marshes and I stop to take a picture

and a woman comes along and stands next to me and starts stretching and she’s about an inch away and I think are you sure you’re fucking standing close enough to me or what? and I decide she looks dodgy and I put my phone back in my pocket and run off and then I get to where the cows live and I look at my Garmin and I’ve only gone two miles and I think shit, my house isn’t two miles away, how am I going to do four miles and I think I’ll have to do a lap of the park when I get back and I get to the stables and walk through the gate and then I realise I’m still walking and I think oops, I’m supposed to be training for a half-marathon so I’d better start running and I think I need someone to write me a schedule and nag me into doing it and I also think that I need to cut out the Friday night bottle of wine as it doesn’t help me much with my Saturday morning run but at 6 o’clock last night in Sainsburys it seemed like the best idea in the world and then I get to my house and I’ve only done 3.7 miles so I do a lap of the park and then go home to investigate the freshly baked bread.

Route

Stats
 Distance: 4.16 miles
Time: 47:12
Pace: 11:20
Calories: 404
Blue skies: 1
Swans cleaning themselves: 1
Loaves of freshly baked bread: 1
Music
Peter, Bjorn & John
Cardiacs
Bobby Conn
The Young Knives
Stereo Total

Downmarket

One comment

I get up and think I’ll go to the gym at lunchtime, I’ll be too tired after work to run due to being up late due to going out to see the Greatest Musician In The World Ever and then I think no I will force myself to go out for a run and go to the gym tomorrow lunchtime and so I go to work and on the way home I’m thinking I’ll do my three mile route and then I get home and yay some wire’s arrived so I can make some more jewellery and I think I need to change the songs on my iPod because they are shit and I think while my iPod is updating with some good songs I will look at the wire but not start playing with it and so I start updating my iPod and I get the wire out and I have some thicker wire and I wonder how easy it is to bend and I get my pliers out and make a spiral and think stop it, put down the wire and the pliers and get changed and then I wonder if the pink wire is very thin and I make a coil out of it and then I think later I’ll make a bracelet out of pink wire and the pink and black spiky rubber beads I bought and I think put down the pliers, go and get changed and my iPod still hasn’t updated and then there’s scratching and scrabbling in the attic and I think oh shit, what’s that? mice? rats? birds? big spiders? squirrels? and I hope it’s squirrels and I think perhaps I won’t go out for a run, perhaps I’ll stay in on squirrel watch and make jewellery and then I think no no no you must go out, you told yourself you were going to this morning and I think I can’t be bothered to do the three mile route and then I think I know, I’ll compromise and do the two mile route and I think why am I compromising with myself? I can do what I want and if I don’t want to go for a run I don’t have to and then I see my belly in the mirror and think, hmm, maybe I should go for a run and I think while I’m out there I can think about the jewellery I can make and so I get changed and I think maybe I’ll stay in and I think no no no, you’ve even got changed, just get out there and my iPod is finally updated and I get my Garmin and I go out and do the two mile route which brings me nicely downhill all the way for the second mile down the market and I think well, that wasn’t too bad after all.

Stats:
Distance: 2.15 miles
Time: 22:48
Pace: 10:35
Calories: 208
Music:
Stereo Total
Bobby Conn

Before the sun comes up

4 comments

I went to bed early last night in an attempt to get up early and go for a run before work so I set my alarm for 6 but my brain decides to wake me up at 5 and I’m still awake at 5:30 but then feel myself drifting off so I get up and the cat looks at me like, yeah right, course you’re getting up and she reluctantly follows me down the stairs and I give her her breakfast and she looks at it and yawns and goes back to bed and I think cat, you’re not helping me stay awake here and I make a cup of tea and make my breakfast to take to work with me and I empty the dishwasher and I check my email and the usual websites and then it’s coming up to 6:30 and I think I’d better go out for my run now but it’s still dark and I think where shall I go? I don’t want to go to the park in the dark and anyway I want to do three miles this morning and I’m not running around the park eight times because I will get dizzy and my brain will fall out and I think will it be safe round the streets, they’ll be empty and I think it’ll probably be ok and I get my Garmin, iPod and alarm and think I can’t hang around the street waiting for a signal, people will think I’m a nutter hanging around in the dark so I decide to go to the bus stop and pretend I’m waiting for a bus but the bus stop is busy and I think a bus must be coming soon, they’ll think I’m a nutter if I don’t get on the bus so I walk up the road a bit and wait and it doesn’t take long for my Garmin to get a signal and I start to run and there’s a lot of traffic and people and I think so much for me having the streets to myself, it’s not a lot quieter than a Saturday lunchtime and I go to the cross the road and nearly get run over by a cyclist who hasn’t got his light on and I think dickhead, put your light on, and I get to the bridge at Bakers Arms and a man turns round and sees me and stops and I have to squeeze through a 2 inch gap between him and a pillar and he says sorry and I think why couldn’t you have moved out of the way? and then a cyclist comes down the pavement without his light on and I think fucking cyclists, stick to the road you dickhead, and put your light on, and then there’s another cyclist coming down the pavement without his light on and I think what the fuck, no one told me it was National Cycle Down The Pavement In The Dark Without Lights On Day and I get home and my alarm’s going off and I thought I’d turned it off before I left and it’s still not daylight yet but my fake sunrise has come on and the cat has finally got out of bed and I am minging but I haven’t got time to wash, dry and straighten my hair and I’m going out tonight to see the Greatest Musician In The World Ever, eek.

Stats:
Distance: 2.75 miles
Time: 30:02
Pace: 10:55
Calories: 266
Cyclists without lights on: 3
Music:
Bobby Conn
Cardiacs
The Cure
Pharcyde
Stereo Total

Antisocial Sunday

9 comments

As I’m up reasonably early and have a few hours to spare before going out for lunch on a Routemaster bus that’s been converted into a vegan restaurant, I decide to continue with my finely tuned athleteness and go for a short run and I decide to try it unencumbered with my usual assortment of running essentials and put all my trust in my Nokia N95 and so I say goodbye to my Garmin and iPod and tell them it’s nothing personal and I get to the park and try and find a bit of bench to sit on that’s not covered in pigeon crap while I wait for my phone to pick up a signal and two girls are jogging down the path towards me and as they get closer I realise they haven’t been girls for a very long time and when they get past me they stop and start walking and I think oh shit, if I run past them will they think I’m showing off in a “you lightweights, look, I’m not walking, I am a finely tuned athlete and you clearly are not” but then I think well I can’t sit here on this pigeon shit encrusted bench all day and my phone’s picked up a signal and I turn on the music and am shocked at the appalling sound quality and I run round the park and up to the sports field and half way round the sports field the phone has lost its signal and I think this smartphone isn’t really very smart at all but as I’m nearing my house the signal comes back and it seems to have caught up with itself and I’m still thinking the sound quality of the phone is really shit and then I realise that the sound’s coming from the speakers and not the headphones and I think oh my god, how embarrassing, now everyone I’ve passed this morning is going to go home and tell their families about the antisocial woman running round the park with music blaring out of her phone. Oops.

Stats:
Duration: 14:05
Distance: 1.31 miles
Speed avg: 5.6 mph
Pace avg: 10:44 min/miles
Phones blaring out music: 1

1 … 83 84 85 86 87 … 118