Girlflu

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And you lot thought I’d been slacking this week? No, not me, I had a bit of a sniffle girlflu but because I am a hardcore finely tuned athlete, I have attempted to run a bit this week, although Thursday and Friday’s efforts couldn’t really be called efforts as Thursday’s effort consisted of a mile with two walking breaks and Friday’s effort was similarly feeble with 20 minutes on the treadmill with two walking breaks.

But today I got up early early early after my extremely riveting dream about making bread to rectify this pitiful situation and not because I’m expecting delivery of a new shiny 22″ monitor, oh no. I got up early early early and went over the park and round the sports field and did, um, a mile. But it was a mile with no walking breaks this time, which isn’t bad for a girl with girlflu.

And now I am awaiting delivery of my nice new shiny 22″ monitor although I did seem to confuse amazon so I hope it does turn up, I’m even going to tidy the spare room so it doesn’t think it’s new home is owned by a scruff. Which of course it isn’t, as obviously this is the home of a domestic goddess. Only a domestic goddess would dream about making bread.

Stats:

Today
Distance: 1.37 miles
Time: 14:31
Pace: 10:38
Calories: 126
Music
Courtney Love
The Prodigy
Hole

Friday
Treadmill:
Distance: 1.65 miles
Time: 20:00
Pace: 12:08
Calories: 158

Thursday
Distance: 1.32 miles
Time: 14:55
Pace: 11:17
Calories: 114

Sloooooooooooooow

7 comments

I have a day off today, hurrah, so do I spend it by lounging around in bed ’til lunchtime Neighbours comes on?  No, do I fuck.  I get up at 6:30am and waste some time on the internet and then go out to attempt the three mile route round the marshes and I’m thinking is it safe over the marshes this early as I see people over there when I’m on the train but that’s a bit later and I’m thinking about the female joggers who got murdered over Victoria Park and that was early in the morning I think and I think well I probably won’t get murdered but I take my personal alarm with me and I go out the door and I see my next door but one neighbour and I think eek I don’t want to talk to anybody looking like this and so I pretend to be busy putting my keys in my back pocket and go and hide round the corner and wait for my Garmin to get a signal and then my neighbour walks past and I think bollocks but she doesn’t even smile or say hello or anything and I think miserable cow but I suppose we haven’t actually spoken before which is a shame because then I could tell her how the old woman who lived in the house before her died in the house and was found by the milkman and when the house was on the market Sanjay from Eastenders knocked on my door asking about the area because he was interested in buying the house and I wondered if he wanted to get a job in the market but anyway my neighbour walks off towards the bridge and I think I’ll go on the other side of the road and run past her but then I think we’re going to be going under the bridge at the same time then and she starts running for a couple of feet and I think ooh she must be late for work, running three steps will make sure she’s on time but then she stops on the corner and I think she must be getting the bus, I wonder where she works, doesn’t everyone work in town? and I don’t know where she can be getting on the bus to because it doesn’t go very far and I wonder if she’s getting it to the tube station the lazy moo and then I decide to start running and I go up the road and two ladies of a certain age are getting into a car and they give me a funny look and I get into the marshes and there’s no one about and then I see a man in the long grass and I think why’s that man in the long grass and then I see behind him the two ladies of a certain age and I think why is that man in the long grass with two ladies of a certain age and I think ick I shouldn’t be thinking things like that and so I try and see the cows but they’re far away but I can just about see them and I can also see Canary Wharf and the Gherkin and I think yay I’ve got no work ’til Tuesday and then I get to the stables and I think that’s the same horse as last time and I think duh of course it is, it’s not like they’re going to change the horses every couple of days and I’m thinking when I get to the footbridge I can stop and walk up it because I’m knackered and I have got seriously unfit in the last few weeks and I walk over the footbridge and up to the bread factories and this time when I get to the road where I was nearly run over last time I see a van coming so I stop and he indicates and I think well at least someone knows how to indicate and I don’t get run over and I eventually get home and although it was v. slow, I did it without stopping, yay.

Stats
Miles: 2.79
Time: 32.13
Pace: 11:32
Calories: 241
Music
Peter, Bjorn & John
The Twang
Black Wire
The Cribs
Hole
Foo Fighters
Jamiroquai
The Music

Morning has broken

6 comments

After awaking from bad dreams involving psychopathic exes, dead people and car crashes I get up early and decide to go for a run round the park and I’m going through my t-shirts deciding what to wear as I need to do my washing and I only have one running top and I think if I wear that what am I going to wear for tomorrow’s run and I think does it really matter and I think no it doesn’t matter and I pull out a baggy race t-shirt and I think no I can’t wear that and I pull out another race t-shirt which actually fits properly and I get to the park and bollocks the park is shut and I think that’s not fair I’ve been here earlier than this and it was dark then and it wasn’t shut so I go down to the other gate to see if that one’s open and hooray that gate is open and I think I hope there’s no nutters in the park as one of my escape routes is padlocked and I think there probably won’t be any nutters and I go round the park and there’s a woman with a dog in there and it’s ok as the only time I can tolerate other people in the park is at 6:30 in the morning and we smile at each other in that early morning solidarity/you’re probably not a nutter kind of way and I do a couple of laps of the park and when I get home the fake sunrise has just come on and I think I am hardcore, I have been for a run before the sun is up. Yay.

Stats
Distance: 1.25 miles
Time: 13:39
Pace: 10:56
Calories: 110
Music
Manic Street Preachers
The Twang
Hole

Moo

5 comments

Yesterday I woke up aching like I’d been out running for the first time ever but apart from a normal ache my leg wasn’t hurting so today I thought I would go and see the cows properly for the first time since they’ve been back and of course it also gave me the opportunity to play some more with my Nokia N95 and take some cow based photos.

And after I stop hassling the cows I go back the way I came and go past the stables and take a horse based photo.

And then on my way home I come across this really unhelpful sign.

And on my way through the bread factories when I’m crossing a road a man in a car decides to turn off and nearly runs me over and I say to him try fucking indicating and luckily he decides just to give me a dirty look instead of getting out of his car and beating me to a pulp and then Kate Nash starts singing Dickhead and I think ooh, spooky, last time that played on my iPod was just after being hassled by a dickhead personal trainer in the gym.

This week is going to be healthy week. This consists of only having homemade stuff. So homemade pizza, curry and wine it is then 🙂

Today’s route

Stats:
Distance: 3.08 miles
Time: 43:13
Pace: 14:01
Calories: 280
Cows: 6
Horses: lots
Dickheads trying to run me over: 1
Music:
Kate Nash
Kaiser Chiefs
The Twang
Black Wire
Calvin Harris
Hole

One mile wonder

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After yesterday’s massive feat on the treadmill, when I woke up this morning my first thought after thinking I wish the cat would stop hitting me in the face was I wonder how my leg is, will it take a trip over the park? and so I got up and thought yay, it feels fine, I’m going to go to the park as, it would be nice to go and see the cows but I don’t want my leg to give up on me over the marshes and have to limp back all the way home and I can get home from the park in about 5 seconds and so I blew the dust off my Garmin, unearthed my trainers from underneath toolboxes, numerous pairs of Converse and an embarrassing amount of bags under the stairs, tried to remember how to use my wireless headphones and went to the park and there was an old man on each of the benches so I had to stand around and look dodgy while I waited for my Garmin to pick up a signal but it didn’t take long and so I started walking round the park as I couldn’t remember how to run but after passing a man with two little dogs I attempted to run and it wasn’t too bad but a bit stiff and achy and I went up to the sports field which was completely empty and did a lap of that and then it wasn’t completely empty anymore so I went back onto the street and got back to the park and I thought shall I do a lap of the park or just go home and I thought I’ve done a mile, that’s probably enough for now, I don’t want to overdo it and damage my leg and anyway I have to go out drinking with Tracey today and go for lunch on the boat pub and then get the boat bus and do more drinking and the sun is out so definitely beer drinking weather, yay.

Today’s route:


Stats:
Distance: 1.21 miles
Time: 13:36
Pace: 11:16
Calories: 119
Music:
Kaiser Chiefs
Kate Nash
Calvin Harris
Black Wire

Five minute wonder

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I have next week marked down as a healthy week which means no going out boozing and going to the gym every day but thought as my boss was off today I’d take advantage and have an extended lunch hour and go and see if the gym was still in its usual place and it was so I went in and had been on the cross-trainer for about 3 minutes when a man approached me and so I stopped and turned my iPod off and took my earphones out and I saw he was a personal trainer and he said can I ask you a few questions and so I thought well my boss isn’t in, I’m not in a huge rush and so I said ok then and he said have you ever used a personal trainer and I said no and he said do you ever use the weights and I said no and he said would you like to and I said no and he said would you like a personal trainer and I said no and I thought I’m getting bored now and this is my lunch break so I said I’m happy doing my own thing and can I get on please, I’m on my lunch hour and he said I just want to ask you a few more questions and I said sorry I haven’t got time and he said it won’t take long so I blanked him and put my earphones back in and turned my iPod back on and he eventually fucked off and I thought WHAT THE FUCK, I’m on my lunch hour, don’t come over here giving me the hard sell and I realise I’m actually pretty pissed off and think I’m going to complain and I think I’ll do it by email as I’m not assertive enough to complain at reception and it’s not the receptionist’s fault anyway and I don’t want to fuck about asking to speak to a manager so I just carry on and then Kate Nash starts singing Dickhead which pisses me off too for its complete ungrammaticalness (yes I know I just made up a word) and so I skip that track and I think it’s not fair, I wasn’t pissed off when I came in here and now I am and I go over to the rowing machines and there’s two girls on them talking and I think oh no don’t be talking that’s really annoying and so I push my earphones in deeper into my ears and turn my iPod up so I can’t hear them and then I go on the bike and then I’m wondering if my leg will take a minute or two on the treadmill but I don’t want to have to get on and get off immediately if I can’t even do one step but the gym’s quite quiet and there’s a row of empty treadmills so I get on one and I do a painless five minutes and then I’m not pissed off anymore but very happy indeed and I skip back to the office, well ok then, I didn’t skip as that would look fucking ridiculous but I’m skipping in my head and when I get back to work someone has left two cakes on my desk, yay.

Stats
Cross-trainer: 20 minutes
Rowing machine: 15 minutes
Bike: 15 minutes
Treadmills: 5 minutes
Personal trainers pissing me off: 1
Cakes: 2

I got tagged

9 comments

Waa, that evil Warriorwoman tagged me and now I’ve got to answer some questions and try not to sound too boring. And as it seems to have gone round only females recently, I’m going to keep up the tradition and tag londonjogger and karma. Sorry you two.

Jobs I’ve Held: Evening free newspaper round (which more often than not ended up either dumped in the river or being set on fire in the forest); Saturday hairdresser’s dogsbody (£6 for sweeping up old lady’s hair for 8 hours? Eek); stable girl; fish and chip shop assistant; VDU operator; temp; project controller; temp; office manager; pa/office manager; audio secretary; temp; legal secretary; temp; remote editor; freelance web designer; legal secretary; legal secretary

Movies I Can Watch Over & Over: I used to watch McVicar and Rumblefish over and over again. Not sure why. And the bit in Monty Python’s Meaning of Life where the leaves kill themselves. I don’t really watch films although I’ve watched American Psycho a few times.

My Guilty Pleasures: I don’t believe in guilt. Only pleasure.

Places I have lived (in order): Redbridge, Walthamstow, Liverpool, Redbridge, Leytonstone, Redbridge, Leytonstone, Leyton, Leytonstone, Leytonstone, Leytonstone, Leyton, Walthamstow, Walthamstow

Shows I enjoy: Lost

Places I Have Been on Holiday: Ibiza, Ireland, Brussels (twice), Amsterdam (five times), Barbados, Tenerife, Gozo, Bologna, Frankfurt

Favorite Foods: Pizza, Italian, pizza, Chinese, pizza, Thai, pizza, hmm, anything really except avocado and fruit in my dinner. Bleurgh.

Websites I Visit Daily: Facebook, Runnersworld, LloydsTSB, This Is London, blogs

Body Parts I Have Injured: Had my nose broken about four times by a particularly psychopathic boyfriend many years ago. He broke my finger too. Git.

Awards I’ve Won: Do gymnastics and swimming certificates from junior school count? And piano exams? I can’t really brag about my Race for Life medal.  Oh, I did win a trophy made out of tin foil when I was a 5 year old Essex chess champion.

Nicknames You’ve Been Called: Shiny, jogblog

Cat pizza

6 comments

What is it with cats and boxes? Here is my cat making a futile attempt to stop me eating pizza. Ha, dumb cat doesn’t know I’ve already eaten them.

And here she is crammed into a box smaller than she is. Can I get her to go in her basket to go to the vets? Can I fuck. Yet she will happily squeeze herself into a tiny box just for fun.

Angela has kindly(?) tagged me to do some answering questions thing. I am going to have to make stuff up otherwise I am going to sound incredibly dull due to my life consisting solely of eating pizza and not leaving the house. And I can’t have that. But in the meantime I will put off doing it by taking pictures of cats in boxes instead which has the added bonus of taking my mind off the fact that I’ve got to spend all day on the tube and go to the other side of London later. I mean, zone 4? That’s practically abroad. Eek.

Pizzathon no. 4

14 comments

I haven’t blogged for ages because I haven’t done anything for ages, except sit outside pubs getting insulted by drunk men with no teeth who tell me I should be at home cleaning chickens although that was only once and not an everyday occurrence thankfully because although it was very funny at the time I can see it getting a bit tedious if it did happen every day but I did go to the gym last Thursday and I’m going to the gym tomorrow and in the meantime I made this pizza.

Since I discovered Sainsburys Pizza Base Mix is very very very nice indeed, I have become addicted to making homemade pizza. This creation consists of spinach, feta, capers, olives, red chili, cheddar, veggie parmesan and yes, that is an egg on the top. It was very nice although not as nice as the one Bear made last week which I’m not happy about because I really can’t have him out-domestic-godessing me. But that just means I’ll have to put in some more pizza making practice. Life’s a bitch sometimes.

Stats:
Exercise: 0
Pizza: 1

Lardathon round up

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Ok, I admit it, I fucked up Lardathon big stylee. I ate more crap in July than I usually do in six months, oops. Oh well, I always was a rebel although in my younger days at least I was a skinny rebel not a fat lardy cow rebel. Ho hum. Still, my weight on the day after Lardathon was 2lbs less than when I started so officially I did manage to do what was required, i.e. lose some lard. Yay. Today, however, my scales are telling a different story and tomorrow they will probably expand on their different story due to me going to lunch at the vegan Chinese all you can shove down your gob for £5 today and taking the “all you can shove down your gob” thing to the extreme. Well, a girl’s got to get her money’s worth, eh? Plus, as the waitress spilt hot jasmine tea over me, I thought if I ate all their food they’d go out of business and it’d serve them right for trying to scar me but after three platefuls I decided to wobble back to work and spent the rest of the afternoon trying to stay awake.

Lardathon result:
Starting weight: 9 st 4
End of Lardathon weight: 9 st 2

1 … 85 86 87 88 89 … 118