Author: jogblog

When it eventually stops raining, I trek up to B&Q, taking my pink fluffy gloves off at the door in order to look more like someone who’s not to be messed with.

I go up to the bathroom department but can’t see Maryam so I show Azhar the floor I have and say I need underlay and edging.  He says I can get any underlay but they haven’t got any edging in the right colour in stock.

I tell him I need to replace the ceiling light that I bought that I was told originally by someone in the store that it was ok for the bathroom but now the electrician says it’s not.  He looks at it and says I can tell you now that it isn’t suitable for the bathroom, do you know the name of the person who told you it was?  I say no.  He shows me where the lights suitable for bathrooms are.  I say B&Q are doing the installation, will they charge me more for spotlights when I didn’t have spotlights originally?  He says that’s possible but he’ll take me to the person who deals with bathrooms.  He brings me over to Maryam who smiles and says hello Miss White.  I say, hello again.  Azhar says to Maryam if she gets spotlights willl the fitters charge her more?  Maryam says you’ll have to ask the ISC.  I say they owe me a favour after all the hassle I’ve had and I don’t think I should pay.  Maryam says definitely, and you should really kick up a fuss and make a complaint.  I know I work here but you shouldn’t have had all this hassle.  Those taps go anywhere on the bath, I can’t believe the problems you had with them.  I say I know, I couldn’t believe it when all I had to do was show him a picture.  Maryam says if I tell Donald that, he’s going to piss himself laughing.

I tell her there’s parts missing and show her the note Rick left.  I say I’ve got to take a day off work just to take delivery of 4 little pieces.  She says that’s crap.  She says I really need to make a huge complaint.

I pick up some underlay and choose some spotlights that say suitable for zone 3 hazard areas and bathrooms and go off to find a door stop thingy to stop the door handle bashing into the shower screen (which by the way I have cleaned with bleach and worked out how to make it open outwards, so the shower screen disaster is over).  I speak to Kuldip and show him the note Rick left and say I need some kind of door stop but if it’s going to be on the floor, then it needs to be over six inches high as there’s a step and the door’s not on the floor.  Kuldip tries his best to think of something but fails.  He calls over Azhar and asks him to be creative.  Azhar says I shouldn’t be left notes by builders telling me to go and buy stuff, they should be professional and find a solution and do it.  He says he does private work for people and asks them to write him a letter if they think he’s done a good job.  He says he couldn’t believe the conversation me and Maryam had and that the fitters have been giving me all this hassle for so long.  He says he’s disappointed as he feels proud to work for B&Q and doesn’t like to hear of builders not doing their job properly.  He says he can come round and have a look at the door and see what can be done and gives me his phone number.

I go and pay for the underlay and tell the girl on the checkout I need to return the light and buy new ones.  She says do I have a receipt?  I say no.  She says when did you buy it?  I say about August.  She says I’ll have to give you a credit note.  I say but the new lights cost more than the one I’m returning, can’t I just pay the difference?  She says yes.

I have just spent near enough two hours going up to B&Q and back and I still need some edging and I don’t suppose the carpenter will come and do the floor until I have everything I need.

Grr.

Rick the tiler turns up at 8 and I say you got a lot done yesterday, I wasn’t expecting it to be painted, thanks. He says yes, it’s a shame there weren’t enough tiles or they’d have been finished too.

He says has anyone contacted me about getting the floor done? I say no. He says he should be just about finished today and he’ll ring his office and see if they’re sending someone to do the floor, and when the floor and skirting board is down, he can come back to paint them, then someone should be round to finish off all the other jobs that need doing.

He asks me if I wanted him to lock the bottom lock yesterday, he says he just pulled the front door shut because he didn’t know whether to lock it or not and put the keys through the letterbox. I say it was fine just pulling it shut but if he could lock the mortise today that would be great.

Wow, the fitters sending me someone security conscious. Amazing.

Will update with pics later when I get home and see my tiled and painted bathroom 🙂

Update
I get home to find a note from Rick. It says “Be careful when opening bathroom door, handle will hit glass screen. Some sort of door stop is needed to stop hitting glass. Either on top of door (closer) or side of bath.”

Hmm, so I’m going to need to have some kind of big rubber protrusion sticking out of the side of the bath? Nice.

The note continues “Can you see B&Q to get these parts as they are missing. Also you have’nt [sic] got an end panel for your bath. Underlay is needed for your floor and some edging.”

Oh great, my basin can’t be installed completely until I get the parts he’s circled for me on the note, hopefully they’ll be in stock, think I’ll take a trip to see Maryam at the store tomorrow to see if she can help. Buying underlay and edging I can do without, I just spent another £100 yesterday on tiles because it hadn’t been measured properly in the first place and now Riaz the designer shows he f**ked up once again in by not factoring in underlay. If he’s in the store tomorrow I might have to punch him.

Anyway, I go upstairs to check out what’s been happening today. Rick has finished the painting and very nice it is too. The pipes behind the toilet have been boxed in, which is a nice finishing touch that I wasn’t expecting. But, there’s another note on top of the new ceiling light box that says “Hallo [sic] Miss. New light fitting is not suitable for bathroom. It is very dangerous to use this light. Replaced only switch for u [sic]. You need to buy light suitable for zone 3 – bathroom. Thank you, electrician.” He’s even drawn a picture to show bathroom zones, but they mean fuck all to me.

F’in hell. I asked in B&Q when I bought the light if it was ok to use in the bathroom. Man in store even disappeared for fifteen minutes to find someone to ask. Did he just nip out for a cigarette then came back and said yes, it’s fine for the bathroom?

Also, the shower screen is up, but there’s dirt on it that I can’t get off. Oh joy.

And I take back this morning what I said about the fitters sending someone who is security conscious. After Rick asking me if I wanted him to lock the mortise lock, he didn’t bother and either him or the electrician left the bathroom window open. And not only did they leave it open but they opened it themselves with their own key, the sneaky bastards, because after Alan the plumber left it open, I locked it and hid the key.

Tossers.

Here’s today’s progress pics (along with a pic of the dirty shower screen and the electrician’s note), anyway:

God of B&Q, I hate you.

Grr.

Update #2
There’s a message on my answerphone from Kay at the installation centre. She says the fitters have told her I’m missing some parts for my basin. She says the suppliers can’t send the parts out as they come from China, so what they’re going to do is send me a whole new basin and the fitters can take the parts from that then take the basin away and it’s coming on Tuesday. So I’ve got to take a day off on Tuesday to wait in for a delivery? Oh my boss will be pleased. I’m not a plumber but the parts in the pic that Rick has circled (see pic below) just look like normal plumbing bits to me. They don’t have them in the store? F’in hell.

And I thought when I return the shower screen, I’d get a folding one as this one doesn’t move and the shower spray only just about reaches far enough past the screen but not really comfortable so I looked in the brochure and it says that all their screens open outwards 90 degrees and there’s even a diagram showing it next to the screen that I have got. Well, my screen doesn’t move so Rick (or whoever did it) must have fitted it wrong.

Waa.

Do these look like special parts that can only be got in China?

Rick the tiler turns up at 8 and says he doesn’t know anything about the job. Hmm, good start. He says he’s going to be doing the decorating too. I say is he going to do the floor? He says no, they’ll send a carpenter for that, doesn’t know when though. I ask him if he’s going to be replacing the skirting board. He says no. I say but shouldn’t it be done before the decorating as obviously it’s going to need painting. He says the carpenter will probably do it and he can put a coat of paint on it.

I ask him if I’ve got enough tiles and he says it should just about be so I tell him to ring me if I need to buy some more. I ask him if I’ve got enough paint. He says it should be. I say will the decorating be finished tomorrow? He says he’s not sure as there’s quite a bit of prep work and it might need two coats as the coving’s very dark.

He calls me at 9:50 and says I need 3 more boxes of tiles. How did just about have enough turn into need another three boxes? That’s another £100, yikes. Why didn’t the designer measure properly? Duh. I tell him I’ll get some tonight. Please please please let them be in stock.

Update
I get home after struggling back from B&Q with three boxes of tiles (they’re heavy and I don’t drive, I think my arms are going to fall off) and see that Rick the tiler has been very busy.  I thought when he’d run out of tiles, he’d have just buggered off home (or to the pub) but no, he has prepared the walls and put an undercoat on the whole room.  Woo, quite impressed!  Look, I’ve got white walls now and some tiles around the bath:

I’m still suing the ass off them though when it’s finished 🙂

It occurs to me that the skirting board is going to need to be done before any decorating so I ring the installation centre at 10:30 and speak to Gary.  (Where’s Alan gone?  Has he abandoned me?)  I say to Gary that a tiler’s coming tomorrow and the decorator on Friday but there’s a bit of architrave that’s disappeared and the skirting board needs replacing.  Is the decorator going to do this?  He says you need a new architrave?  I say it was taken down when the room was stripped but a bit’s gone missing so needs replacing and there’s still a bit of skirting board that needs replacing.  He says has this been planned for?  I say yes, it’s on the works schedule.  He says he’ll phone the fitters.

I tell him I’m also still waiting for the end bath panel that I haven’t got.  I say I’ve asked twice before but I still haven’t got it.  He says is it the front or the end panel?  I say it’s the end.  I say I’ve got the long panel that goes on the side but no end panel.  He says he’ll chase it up for me.

I don’t know who this Gary person is.  I want Alan back to sort it out, or Jackie.  There’s too many people involved in this installation.  The Victorians never had all this nonsense, maybe I should just put a tin bath out in the garden and save myself a lot of hassle.

Actually, I think this Gary person may be on the ball because he rings me back ten minutes later and says that he’s spoken to the fitters about my skirting board and they’re going to sort it out for me.

He says about the end panel, there was never one ordered.  I say oh, that will be down to the designer then as I do need one.  He says yes, he’ll speak to the store and get one ordered and they’ll have to get someone out at a later date to fit it for me.  He says he’ll get the store to phone me and sort it out.

Will my bathroom ever be finished?

No one turned up to do any decorating this morning so I ring the B&Q installation centre at 10:45 and speak to Jackie.  I say the fitters didn’t ring me yesterday.  She says she left a message for them this morning and will chase them to see what’s going on. 

I tell her they’ve ripped my kitchen floor.  She says oh no, what type of floor is it?  I say it’s vinyl and it’s been torn.  She says is it old?  I say no, it’s only been down about a year.  She says she’ll speak to her compensation team and find out about getting some money out to me for a new floor.

I hate B&Q.  Well, I hate their fitters, anyway.

At 11:09 Dragon Lady from the fitters rings and says she can get the tiler to me on Thursday.  I say okay then, first thing?  She says yes.

I ring Jackie at the installation centre and say a tiler’s coming on Thursday.  She says just a tiler?  Did they say anything about decorating?  I say  no, just said the tiler’s coming on Thursday.  I say this has been dragging on for ages now, this is the fourth week.  She says I know, I’ve been looking at the notes of everything you and Alan have been trying to sort out, it’s awful isn’t it?  She says she’ll ring the fitters and try and get everything sorted for me.

Sigh.

Jackie from the installation centre rings at 12:45.  She says she’s spoken to the fitters and they’re waiting for the plaster to dry out and the decorator will be round on Friday and the tiler’s coming on Thursday.  Jackie also says that she’s mentioned to them about the kitchen floor and they’re going to look into it.

I don’t know who’s doing the bathroom floor.  Will I have to wait two weeks for a floor man?  And they need to send the carpenter back to make a new bit of architrave as a piece has mysteriously gone missing.  And they’re supposed to be adding some skirting board.  Who’s doing that?

Tossers.

Alan the plumber arrives at 8:30ish with his young plumber’s mate and apologises for being late. I say are you going to install the bath today? He says yes. Hurrah. I say can you phone me when it’s done? He says don’t you want it to be a surprise? Oi matey, cut out the wisecracks, I want a plumber, not a comedian. No I don’t want it to be a surprise, I’ve been without a bath for three weeks. I say do you still have my phone number or shall I write it down again? He says he has it in his van.

Fingers crossed then (again).

Update
Alan at B&Q rings me at 3:15 and asks if the plumber turned up today. I say he did and he was going to ring me when he’d installed the bath but he hasn’t yet.

Alan asks if they said anything about finishing the job. I say no but I’ll wait and see if I’ve got a bath before I worry about anything else. He says he’ll ring the fitters and see if they know anything.

I don’t think they know anything at all. I’m surprised they even know how to get out of bed in the morning.

Update #2
Alan the plumber rings at 4 and says the bath’s been installed. Hallellujah! He says when I get home I’ll see that it’s full of water and silicon’s been applied. The silicon might still be wet so best to leave it ’til about 8 before I use it. He also says that he’s put the pop up waste in the sink and made good the wall.

At 4:15 I ring the installation centre to see if anyone’s coming tomorrow to start on finishing the work. Jackie answers the phone and says oh yes, as soon as work has started, it carries on until it’s finished. Yeah right. I say but because there’s been delays, there might not be anyone booked to come round. She says she’ll find out and get back to me.

Jackie rings back at 4:45 and says the fitters are going to ring me this evening to sort out the rest of the work and she’ll ring me tomorrow to make sure they did ring.

Hmm.

I get home and Alan has indeed installed the bath. Look, taps, woo hoo:

And my cat is very impressed with her new water bowl:

But somehow the fuckwit has managed to tear a hole in the kitchen floor:

Bloody hell, can’t they do anything right, ever?!!! For f**ks sake, to say I’m annoyed is an understatement, bet they deny doing it too but when I left for work this morning I didn’t have a kitchen floor with a hole in it.

Tossers.

Grr.

Nothing to report yesterday as it had been left that a plumber will be round today between 11 and 12. Please please please please let him turn up and fit the taps and not give me any “taps don’t fit” nonsense.

How much chance have I got of a plumber finishing one job on a Friday morning and then going to another for the afternoon? Aren’t they more likely to bugger off home, or even more likely, to the pub?

Alan at B&Q probably didn’t know what to do all day with me not ringing him to moan every five minutes, maybe I should have given him a ring to complain about the fitters losing my keys and scratching the shower spray. Got to keep him on his toes after all.

Fingers crossed then. He’s not late yet, it’s only 6:50am.

Update
It’s 12:00 and no plumber. I ring the fitters and get put through to “someone who knows what’s going on”. Louise gets put through to me and says sorry, he can’t make it, he got held up on another job. I say why didn’t anyone ring me? She says I did, I left a message. I say where? She gives me a number which isn’t mine. I say that’s not my number. She gives me another number. I say that’s not my number either. She says do you live at [address], I say no. She gets my name right eventually and says oh, Clive’s coming out to you. Then she says oh, Andy’s going to be with you this afternoon, hang on and I’ll find out where he is.

I have started growling already. If Andy is not here within half an hour I’m going to kill someone on my way to work.

Update #2
12:20 and no one’s rung me back so I ring the fitters and get their answerphone and leave a message saying I need to know if the plumber’s on his way, I’m leaving my house in 20 minutes, can you call me back please.

Tossers.

I ring Alan at B&Q and say plumber not here, I have to go to work now. He says oh dear, you’re not having much luck are you? I say not exactly, no. He says do I have to go to work right now? I say yes, in ten minutes. He says he’ll ring the fitters.

Louise from the fitters rings me just after I put the phone down to Alan and says Andy will be with you this afternoon. I say but you said between 11 and 12 and I have to go to work now. She says she’s really sorry. She said am I available next week? I said it has to be first thing Monday. She says she’ll see who she can pull off another job and ring me back.

Wankers.

Update #3
Alan rings and says the fitters say your keys were left in your gas meter box. I say why didn’t anyone tell me that, that’s not the first place I’d think of looking for them. He says no, well, you wouldn’t really would you?

He says he thinks the fitters are coming out on Monday. I say you think? He says they are. I say first thing? He says yes. He says if they don’t come, then they’ll get Reactafast (or something like that) to come out but they will only do the bath, not the decorating. I say well the bath’s the main priority at the mo, this is going to be the third weekend without a bath, I can’t take any more time off work, my boss is already spitting feathers with all the time off and phone calls I’m making. He says let’s see what happens Monday, see if the fitters turn up.

Sigh.

At least it’s Friday I suppose. Hurrah.

Update #4
My keys were indeed left inside the gas meter box which means either a) that Danny had no intention of coming back, because if he did, he’d have put the keys through the letterbox like a normal person would have done, but if he’d have done that I’d have thought “oh, that’s weird, why has he posted the keys, isn’t he coming back?”; or b) that he left them in there every day instead of taking them with him which means that he’s just as security conscious as that Alan idiot who left my window open as any random passing burglar could have seen him take the keys from the gas meter box every morning he was here.

‘kin hell.

Update #5
At 4:30 Louise from the fitters leaves a message on my mobile to confirm that Alan the plumber will be round on Monday morning to do the taps.

At 5:00 Alan the plumber rings about my “dreaded” bath. He says he’ll be with me first thing on Monday. I say brilliant, 8 o’clock? He says thereabouts, do I have to be out of the house at a specific time. Well of course I do dickhead, I have to go to work and earn money to pay for a new bathroom. I say I have to be out by 8:30. He says he should be there by then, he has to pick up a few bits and pieces on the way so he doesn’t have to go out in the day. He says he needs access to the back garden. I say that’s fine, he can have keys. And if you forget to lock the back door, like you forgot to shut the window, it’s going to be you who’s going to need new plumbing matey.

I think Monday is finally going to see the end of the bath saga. Yah!

Are you as bored of this as I am yet? All good evidence though for when I write my really long letter of complaint.

I ring the plumber at 10:04 and say did you look at the website? He says yes, the taps go on the corner with the handheld spray to the left of them on the back edge. I say yes, can you do that? He says, well, if that’s how they are in the picture, then that must be where they go.

He says he has a reservation though. If I use the spray as a shower, then there’s a danger that water will get through the hole, as it’s not meant to be used as a shower. I say but if I’m aware of that then it’s not a problem is it? He says no.

I say can you come and do it tomorrow? He says he’s spoken to his office and they’ll be in touch as and when. He says whoever comes round will need access to the back garden. I say that’s fine, as long as they lock up afterwards. (I was tempted to say you left my window open you twat, but restrained myself.)

He says the office will be in touch.

I ring Alan and say that the plumber didn’t have a solution last night, it was just going round in circles again but he’s looked at the website now and has seen where the taps go and says he can do it. I say he said his office will be in touch “as and when” but that’s not very good and ideally I need someone there first thing tomorrow, can he chase them for me please? He says will do.

Fingers crossed! What do you reckon? Bath installed tomorrow?

Update
Dragon Lady from the fitters phones me at 11:00. She says the plumber can come round Monday afternoon. I say that’s no good, I need someone round tomorrow morning, it’s been going on for three weeks now. Dragon Lady says he can’t come earlier, he’s on another job. I say I’m going to ring the Installation Centre.

I ring Alan and say Dragon Lady says plumber can’t come back ’til Monday afternoon. He says it’s Wednesday now so that’s another five days, hmm. I say it’s no good, I need someone tomorrow morning, it’s been three weeks. I say afternoon is no good either, that’d involve taking a day off work. He says he’s running out of ideas but it’s been going on for too long and he’ll speak to his manager.

Waa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I’m going to cry. Again.

Update #2
Alan rings at 11:40 and says that he’s spoke to the fitters and the plumber who came round last time can’t come back until next week but they’re going to see if they can get someone else. I say next week’s no good, I can’t let this drag on to next week. He says if they can’t send anyone this week then they’re going to get their managers involved. He says he’ll keep me informed.

Five phone calls already today and it’s not even lunchtime yet. Just as well I didn’t go on holiday and leave them to it, like I’d thought about. I thought if they start work on the Monday morning, I could just come home on the Friday and I’d have a nice new bathroom. Duh! Six weeks later (they were supposed to have originally started work on 9 October [it’s 15 November today] but the fitters had f****d up) and I’ve still not got even a functioning bathroom, let alone a finished one, or even a nearly finished one.

Grr.

Update #3
Dragon Lady from the fitters rings at 12:35 and says I’ve rescheduled, the earliest I can get someone there is Friday mid-morning, I’ve got someone round your way first thing, he can come after.

I say okay then. She says will you be there? I say no need, he can just come through the window your other dickhead plumber left open.

Okay, I didn’t say that. I say yes, oh but do I need to be, you have keys, I gave them to Danny, did he drop them back round your office? She says she’s not sure, she’ll double check. I say but it’s best I’m there anyway, I’ll be there, what’s the latest he’ll be there? She says she’ll book him in for between 11 and 12.

I tell my boss a plumber’s coming Friday mid-morning. He says what does that mean? I say it means I need Friday morning off. Boss not happy. Oops. I can’t go another weekend without a bath though. Boss appreciates that B&Q are wankers (his words) and says it’s fine, no need to book the time off, just come in when I can. Friday afternoon is going to be v. stressful at work, bah, but fingers crossed though that at least I can go home to a nice hot bath.

Update #4
Alan rings at 2:17 and says the fitters say they’re coming to you Friday pm, is that right? I say yes, but between 11 and 12, hopefully. I say obviously it’s not ideal but better than Monday afternoon but I’ve had to take Friday morning off and my boss isn’t very happy about it. He says oh dear.

I say I’m probably jumping the gun a bit, but after the bath is installed, is work going to carry on until it’s finished? He says yes. I say but they probably haven’t got anyone booked in for Monday but anyway, it’s probably best to see if the bath does get installed and then worry about the rest of the work. He says yes that’s probably best but the fitters have said that they’ve got a tiler arranged. Like I believe what the fitters say. I just hope they turn up on time.

Can everyone send good vibes my way and pray that my bath gets installed on Friday. Ta.

Oh, but this is good:

The phrase

B&Q bathroom installation problems

brings this blog in at no. 2 on google. And the phrase

B&Q bathroom installation

brings it on the bottom of the first page. Hurrah, this will mean that they’re going to lose quite a few potential orders. This has made me happy 🙂