Category: Running

Return of the slacker

6 comments

I didn’t do any exercise last week. Obviously, I have excuses.

Monday, I was too tired after going out on Sunday night to see a Sex Pistols cover band; an evening that can only be described – owing to the venue and the audience (who looked like they’d escaped from the set of Shameless) – as a really bad, cheap wedding reception.

Tuesday, I wanted to spend finishing a website I’d been working on, as I was to be out all day Wednesday.

Wednesday, I was out all day. Up at a bright and early 6am, I had to be in Folkestone at 9am for an  interview at Canterbury Christ Church University where I am hoping to study Creative and Professional Writing (I got a conditional offer; conditional on the successful completion of my current course), then I hopped on the hi-speed to London to meet up with my long-lost relatives (they weren’t actually lost; I knew where they were), i.e. my eldest brother who I hadn’t seen in twelve years, my sister-in-law that I hadn’t seen in 25 years and my nephews (who are about 20 years old) that I hadn’t met ever (and now that I have, I have realised that nephews are the best thing ever and if you haven’t got any, then I suggest you go and get some).

Thursday, I was tired after a long, but brilliant, day on Wednesday, and Friday… um, I can’t remember but I think I just decided to have a lazy day.

The weekend? Although Saturday used to be my never-miss-a-long-run day at home, here I just haven’t got into it. Something that will need to be remedied if I’m going to do the Folkestone Half in September. Or the Ashford 5k series. Or the Staplehurst 10k.

Sunday, we did go for a 7 mile round bike ride to buy some eggs, so a bit of exercise there.

Today, Monday, I wasn’t going to go for a run but then a novel about running came through the door that I’d been sent to review and I thought I can’t keep reviewing stuff, people will get fed up of all the product placement and will stop reading my blog and I must do some more running and then I remembered my new More Mile running socks (NOT freebies, keep reading) that I bought from eBay

more_mile_socks

and so I thought ooh, I can wear my new socks if I go for a run and I put on my world record breaking shoes although recently my ankles have been aching and also my knee has been hurting and Shaun wondered if it was the shoes as they’re flat, but my Brooks and Asics have been hurting my feet and my Adidas Adizero are sooooooooooo comfy, so I put those on and I did a slow 1.5 miles but I reckoned it was better than nothing.

Stats
Distance: 1.55 miles
Time: 17:27
Pace: 11:16m/m
Calories: 162
Sex Pistols cover bands: 1
Websites finished: 1
University interviews had: 1
University places offered: 1
Long lost relatives seen: 4
Best nephews in the world ever: 2
Free novels: 1
Unfree socks: 6
Music
Hole
Nirvana
Them Crooked Vultures
Rolling Stones

That’s the boobs sorted, all I need now is a belly bra

9 comments

As I don’t have one of those proper day job things that involve sitting in an office all day, I don’t get that Friday Feeling but I still feel the need to celebrate public holidays by drinking and eating too much and wasting time on Facebook and Twitter, but wasting time on Twitter can pay off. My last three web design clients have come from there (a charity in Devon and two authors) and the other day, I tweeted about my new sports bras that had come in the post (yes, my tweets are that exciting) that no, weren’t freebies but yes, I had paid for them.

Shortly after tweeting this mega-exciting update on my life, Boobydoo tweeted me and said oh, you should have got in touch with us, we’d have sent you something, and so I said I could always do with new sports bras and so they sent me a Shock Absorber Run Bra.

It looks highly technical with all its straps and clasps. My favourite sports bras have been the crop top type that you pull over your head and then struggle to get off after you’ve sweated all over it. This one has kind of polystyreney feeling adjustable straps going down the back (don’t let that put you off, I’m not sure ‘polystyrene’ is the right word but I can’t think what I mean; maybe more neopreney than polystyreney). They’re different to the usual bra straps where you have to lengthen the strap by tugging at it and adjusting it as these have little hooks that you pull out of a little sleeve and put in another sleeve, either higher or lower.

shock_absorber_run_bra

There’s also a clasp at the top and the usual hook and eye clasps at the bottom. As I’m lazy and used to my crop tops, I try to pull it on as a crop top and don’t undo the bottom clasps, but it gets stuck around my shoulders so I pull it off and undo the clasps and try to do it up like a normal person. It takes a while to do up as I’m not very good at doing up bras but I get there eventually and this must be the comfiest bra in the world ever. Being the most comfiest bra ever isn’t the most major factor in sports bra factors though: boobage movage is, so I tested this by jumping up and down. Nothing moved. Result. Another good thing about it is that it’s not padded like the Shock Absorber bra I got at the traumatic Mateivator workout that has removable pads that which, because they’re removable, get all twisted and folded up in their pockets when they’re being washed and then you have to faff about taking them out and untwisting them and putting them back in. So, comfort, support and lack of faff, splendid.

I put on the rest of my gear and decide to wear my Haile Gebrselassie world record breaking shoes and set off down the street.

My world record breaking shoes are really light and I feel like I’m gliding along (I’m well aware that any witnesses would probably not have used the word ‘gliding’ if asked to describe my running style) and my boobs are staying in place which is more than I can say for my belly which is wobbling about and I wonder why no one’s invented a belly bra and if any inventors are reading my blog, can you invent one please?

I decide just to do two miles and to do it without stopping but I get to two miles and I’m feeling good and so I decide to do three miles and whoop whoop, I do three miles at under 11 minute miles which must be some kind of miracle or maybe it was the new bra, which is by far the best sports bra I’ve ever worn (I’m never going back to cheap ones again) or maybe it was the Trion:Z bracelet or maybe it was the world record breaking shoes or maybe it was my athlete’s dinner last night of two slices of garlic bread and half a flapjack or maybe it was all the spin and body pump classes I’ve been going to?

And speaking of spin and body pump classes, I’ll be doing those at the gym tomorrow morning, where I’m going, not to avoid the Royal Wedding, but to avoid Twitter where my fellow human beings will dishearten me by directing a load of scorn, contempt, hatred and abuse at a young couple purely for having the nerve to get married. I mean, they’re hardly Jordan and Alex Reid, are they? Just because Prince William’s mum was a media-hungry attention-seeking strumpet, doesn’t mean he and his bride-to-be are. Good luck to them, I say.

Stats
Distance: 3.02 miles
Time: 32:48
Pace: 10:53
Calories: 317
Friday Feelings: 0
Boobage movage: 0
Belly movage: lots
Fantastic new sports bras: 1
Nasty mean people on twitter to be avoided tomorrow: hundreds
Music
Jamiroquai
The Wombats
Ladyhawke
The Jam
The Killers

A mini-duathlon

6 comments

Last year, I had planned that when the weather got better, I’d cycle down to the park or the woods and do a run round there.

But I didn’t bother.

This year, I have bothered. Yay.

I cycled 2.5 miles down to the park and looked for somewhere to tie my trusty steed. I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to lock my bike to just any available railings but I couldn’t see any ‘cyclists, please fuck off and use proper cycle racks’ signs so thought it was probably ok, especially as it was probably the same railings the policeman locked my bike to when he and his colleague drove me home due to me being too pissed to cycle and falling off in front of them while they were having a cup of coffee at the petrol station one morning in the early hours after I’d got off a train from London.

After securing my bike, I ran through Bowens Fields and then on through Victoria Park, out onto the street, through a council estate, then back through the park, back through Bowens Fields, and back to see if my bike had been stolen.

It hadn’t. Result.

Then I cycled back and was very proud of myself for doing my first ever duathlon.

Stats
Cycle 1
Distance: 2.46 miles
Time: 14:39
Speed: 10.1mph
Calories: 79

Run
Distance: 2.55 miles
Time: blah de blah
Pace: blah de blah de blah
Calories: 267

Cycle 2
Distance: 2.51 miles
Time: 14:02
Speed: 10.7mph
Calories: 86

Will run 4 daft running challenges

6 comments

After running watching on TV hearing about on Twitter the London Marathon (obviously the ‘proper’ marathon, not that silly little fun run that was held the Sunday before in Brighton), I decided that maybe I should get back out running and stop being a gym bunny (or whatever the bunny equivalent to mutton is), especially as Travelling Hopefully has decided to come up with her own daft running challenge where she, me, Helsbels and FitArtist and anyone else who wants to join us meets up for a half-marathon later on in the year and then, as if that wasn’t enough, Helsbels has come up with an idea for an online running club called ‘Will Run For Cake’ (I think the official name involves using ‘4’ instead of ‘For’ but I can’t bring myself to type that) and it’s going to be a proper official club with a committee and affiliation and stuff and if you want to know more you can contact her through her blog.

And speaking of daft running challenges, Juneathon will, of course, be back on this year. There won’t be any big prizes this time but I’ll have a new website up and running soon.

Back to today’s run though. Shaun had shown me a few days ago a cycle path I hadn’t noticed before and so I decided to run down there and at the end of it I ran past a runner who didn’t say hello and then I ran past an old man wearing a shirt and tie and I thought he must be hot and he looked a bit dumb wearing a shirt and tie in this weather although nowhere near as dumb as the man we saw wearing a shirt and tie and shorts a couple of weeks ago but the old man was probably wearing it because he’s an old man and they like to dress smartly and also because he’s an old man he was polite and he said hello and after a couple of miles I’m going down the dusty track and I want to stop and I think I CAN’T STOP, I AM HARDCORE although Courtney Love has just started telling me I’m covered in Loser Dust and then I go past a house where there’s a man stretching and it’s the same running man who went past me before and didn’t smile or say hello and I think A-HA! NOW I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE AND I’M GOING TO COME ROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND PAINT ON YOUR DOOR ‘NEXT TIME YOU GO PAST A FELLOW RUNNER, SMILE AND SAY HELLO, YOU TWATFACE KNOB’ but then I think maybe calling fellow runners a twatface knob isn’t the best way to endear me to them and then I’m going through the field where the new trees are and two people have told me what the new trees are for and one of them definitely knew for sure what the new trees are for and not making an intelligent guess as he’s the parish counsellor but I’ve forgotten what he said as I was too busy stroking his donkey (that is not a euphemism, you mucky pups) to take too much notice and then a running man runs past me and he looks identical to the non-smiling-stretching-outside-his-house running man except he’s wearing different clothes and I think it must be his twin or something and then I get home and I’ve done four miles and my Graze box is there and also a box with a knitted pig and some little yellow chicks and some chocolate mini-eggs

pig

but there’s no note to say who it’s from and so I Google the return postcode on it and it’s from someone up north and so my detective skills lead me to believe it’s from Travelling Hopefully, so, Cassie, thank you very very much, I love my pig!

Stats
Distance: 4.01 miles
Calories: 384
Proper marathons: 1
Runners not smiling: 1
Old men in shirts and ties: 1
New daft running challenges: 1
Old daft running challenges: 1
New running for cake clubs: 1
Unsmiling runners stretching outside their houses: 1
Pigs in the post: 1
Music
The Killers
Hole
PJ Harvey
The Jesus & Mary Chain
Cardiacs
Avi Buffalo

Boiling in bamboo

5 comments

I got sent a BAM – Bamboo Clothing Zip Neck Baselayer to try out but because it’s got long sleeves, I thought it would be too warm to try out now as although it doesn’t take me long to freeze indoors, when I’m out running it doesn’t take me long to melt.

But this morning I decided to give it a go, although it looked warm and sunny outside and I asked Shaun to take a photo of me wearing it and he took a photo and said ‘you look quite thin’ and so I said ‘WHAT DO YOU MEAN I LOOK THIN? ARE YOU SAYING I’M FAT?’ and when I got home after my run, I uploaded the photo and yes, I do look fat, so you’re not getting a photo of me but this is what the top looks like.

bamboo

Nice, huh?

It’s beautifully soft and silky and it’s got thumbloops to keep your wrists warm and to, um, keep snow going up your wrists.

I want to wear the little thumbloop things as I’ve never worn anything with little thumbloop things in before but then I have a dilemma.

Does the Garmin go inside or outside the sleeves?

I decide it has to go outside the sleeves, otherwise I won’t know how far I’ve gone but then I have another dilemma.

What if I get really hot and want to roll my sleeves up?

I decide that I’ll just have to make the effort to unhook my thumb and unstrap my Garmin and roll my sleeves up and then put my Garmin back on again.

I get about a mile and see a poster for a missing cat and someone’s scrawled on it ‘this is why you should keep your cats indoors’ and I think that’s not very sympathetic although my cat stays in but that’s because I let her injections lapse years ago when she didn’t go out anyway because of a local cat picking on her all the time.

After I’ve finished reading the cat missing poster, I decide I’m boiling and I’m going to have to make the effort to unstrap my Garmin and roll my sleeves up and then I see a sign for a bridleway and I wonder where it goes and so I go down the bridleway and looking at the tracks in the mud, it would appear that there’s more tractors go down there than horses and then I wonder where I am and then I think I know where I am but I have thought incorrectly and I’m at the bridge where the half-built housing estate is and I wonder if builders work on Saturday as I try to avoid men in hi-vis clothing wherever possible and I decide they don’t work on Saturdays and so I run through the half-built housing estate and then I don’t know which way to go as it all looks the same and I see two oast houses and I wonder if I live near them and I decide I do and so I head towards them and yay, I’ve gone the right way after all and then I’m at the path and there’s a runner running towards me and I wonder if he’s seen me walking and I start to run and I decide to run on the road so I don’t have to go past him but I’m too slow and our paths cross and he says hello and then I decide to go down the path and there’s a man with an Irish Wolfhound and the man smiles at me and I think ‘I’VE PULLED A MAN WITH AN IRISH WOLFHOUND. RESULT’ and I’m mega mega boiling and although this top is mega mega comfy and would be warm and cosy in the winter, it’s just too warm and clingy for this time of year and then I’m running down the hill and there’s a girl running up it and she says hello and I think she looks familiar and I wonder why as I don’t know anyone round here and then there’s another girl running up the hill and she looks like Miranda and she doesn’t say hello and I get back to the house and I’ve done 2.91 miles and I want to round it up to 3 so I go round the corner and run past the front gate and I still haven’t done 3 miles so I carry on and I get to the gap in the road which leads up to the end of the garden and I think I’ll go up there but then I remember that Shaun says the man at the end of the garden says it’s not a right of way and so I turn round and go back the way I came and Shaun’s leaning out of the bedroom window and he’s seen me running past the house and back and asks me if I got lost.

Stats
Distance: 3.05 miles
Bamboo tops: 1
Garmin dilemmas: 2
Cats missing: 1
Unsympathetic people towards cats missing: 1
Bridleways with tractors, not horses: 1
Half-built housing estates: 1
Oast houses: 2
Men with Irish Wolfhounds: 1
Girl runners saying hello: 1
Girl runners not saying hello: 1

The Milk Tray Man

8 comments

Yesterday, I was extremely hardcore and burnt off almost a pizza’s worth of calories (that’s 1,000 to those of you who don’t speak pizza) by cycling 3 miles to the gym, doing a 45 minute spin class, followed by 25 minutes on the rowing machine, 20 minutes on the elliptical trainer, 10 minutes on the rowing machine, then cycling back home 3 miles, via the optician who told me I had cholesterol on one of my eyes and need to go to the doctors to get checked for high cholesterol (which reminds me I need to go across the road and register at the medical centre).

So, after yesterday’s extremely hardcore effort and spending the rest of the day in a nicely weary-from-exercise state, I wondered how I’d feel this morning.

I felt great. And I wanted to go for a run. So, as my feeling-great-and-wanting-to-go-for-a-run days are pretty few and far between these days, I thought I’d better get out there.

I looked in my gym-and-running-kit-drawer and BAH! I didn’t have any tights with a pocket to put the door key in as the ones with a proper pocket are both in the wash and the ones with a crap pocket are waiting for me to sew up the hole in the front that I noticed was there just before I went into a body pump class, thereby making me spend the whole class wondering if everyone could see my knickers.

But then I remembered my full-length Ron Hill tights that I don’t really like wearing because a) they’re not the comfiest of tights; and b) I look like a dork wearing them but decided it was either a) look like a dork with a pocket to put my doorkey in; or b) look even more of a dork with a key tied to my trainers.

I decided to look like Dork A.

As I got out the door, I realised I was dressed head toe in black with my long-sleeved black running top, my dorky Ron Hill full-length tights and my black gloves that I’m still wearing because it’s still cold here in countrysideland and so I set off looking like the Milk Tray Bloke or whoever it was that climbs through windows and stuff delivering chocolates to sleeping maidens, although in Ashford, it’d be more likely to be a burglar climbing through a window to be greeted by the sight of a chav unconscious on the floor after being rendered paralytic by too many blue drinks in the classily named local nightclub ‘Hustle’.

I run round my usual three mile route which takes me along the road for a bit, then along a scary track for a bit where I saw what I thought was a small white dog then realised it was a medium-sized white carrier bag and got to the dumping-trollies-and-other-rubbish bit, then over the bridge where they’re building a new housing estate called ‘Bridgefield’; imaginatively named what with there being a) a bridge; and b) a field, then down the non-scary trail and past the sheep, then down the hill until I got back and saw that I’m still really really slow and I wonder if I’ll ever be able to post my pace without deep embarrassment again.

Stats
Distance: 3.01 miles
Time: long time
Pace: slow
Calories: 287
Eyes with cholesterols: 1
Doctors registered with: 0
Dorky tights with pockets for doorkeys: 1
Runners dressed up as Milk Tray Men: 1
Housing estates with imaginative names: 0

Sheep farming in Ashford

3 comments

On Saturday, Helen and I had arranged to meet up in Tonbridge (with it being 30 minutes from both of us on the train) to go for a run, but a couple of days beforehand, Helen had said she was feeling a bit wheezy and could we just go to the pub instead? I said no, what kind of alcoholic do you take me for? We are finely tuned athletes and must run and not slack ok then, fine with me, we can go for a walk and a look at the castle and so we met up and when we met up, I switched on my pedometer and we had a look round the outside of the castle

tonbridge_castle

but we couldn’t see a way to get inside the castle, so after we’d finished looking at the outside of the castle, we followed the river up to see where it went and it would appear to be a splendid place to run and after we’d finished walking up and down, Helen said we should find a pub and I looked at my pedometer and it said we’d gone 8,500ish steps and so I said let’s carry on walking until we’ve done the government recommended 10,000 steps and then we shall have earned our beer and Helen agreed with this so we walked up the road a bit and I kept checking the pedometer and eventually it got to 10,000 steps and we said yay and went to the pub, then we went and got pizza then we went to another pub and then another pub.

But that was Saturday.

Last week I transferred my gym membership to the one in town as I’ve been paying for classes in the gym in town on top of my membership to my local gym and so I decided this was a waste of money and so I enquired about membership and the membership girl said I could get student membership for £25 a month and this includes the gym, all classes, swimming pool, steam room, spa and jacuzzi and so I thought bargain and so I transferred my membership and had my induction on Sunday and the new gym has machines that I’ve never seen before, not even in my London gym, and you also get a key that you put into the machines and it tracks everything you do which is pretty cool for a statistic geek like me.

So, this morning, I wanted to go to my new gym but then I thought I might as well run, as I’ll be going to my new gym tomorrow for my spin class and then on the machines for an hour until my Specsavers appointment and so I decided to go running through the fields and when I got to one of the fields there were sheep in it and I though uh oh, do sheep bite? I’ve never been in a field with sheep in it before and all the sheep came running towards me and I thought aw, poor sheep, they probably think I’ve got food and I haven’t got any food for them, maybe I should have brought them some crisps or something although maybe not lamb flavour and I’m walking through the sheep field in case I scare them by running and I go past them and turn around and they’ve all turned round to look at me and then I’m out of the sheep field and go through another field and then back onto the road and I see a sign for a footpath I haven’t seen before and it leads up a hill and so I climb over the stile and run up the hill and then I’m higher than houses and I go over another stile and down a hill and at the bottom of the hill is a half-built housing estate and I don’t know which one it is as they all look the same and I keep on running but I don’t know where I am and I think oh no, I’m going to get lost and go on another eight mile journey and then I see a road sign that looks familiar and then I realise I’m only half a mile from home and not lost at all.

Stats

Saturday
Steps: 10,000
Castles: 1
Pubs: 3
Pizzas: 1

Sunday
Gym inductions: 1

Tuesday
Distance: 3.26 miles
Time: not telling
Pace: not telling
Sheep running towards me: lots

p.s. Bonus points if you know what the title is referring to

A run, not a plug

6 comments

You’re probably thinking that, since my last blog post of 22 February, all I’ve done is sit around listening to my new iPod Nano while reading free marathon magazines and drinking free glucose energy shots and only getting off my chair to count how many steps it takes me to go and make some hot chocolate.

Not true.

I have, on:

23 February: Cycled 2.2 miles to the gym, did a 45 minute spin class, then cycled 2.2 miles back

24 February: Cycled 2.2 miles to the station, walked round London, cycled 2.2 miles back (with added bonus bouncing when falling off drunk)

25 February: Went to the gym and did 20 minutes on the cross-trainer,  20 minutes on the rowing machine, 20 minutes on the stationary bike

26 February: Run 3.01 miles

28 February: Went to the gym and did 20 minutes on the rowing machine, 20 minutes on the treadmill, 20 minutes on the cross-trainer, 20 minutes on the stationary bike

1 March: Cycled 2.2 miles into town, went to London and cycled 2.2 miles back

2 March: Cycled 2.2 miles to the gym, did 45 minute spin class, cycled 2.2 miles back, then cycled another 1.8 round trip to the farm shop

3 March: Run 3.02 miles

So there.

Ner.

Pedophilia

6 comments

As much as I love my little pink iPod Shuffle, when the new iPod Nano came out with its screen, my first reaction was I WANT ONE. My second reaction, on seeing the price, was BAH.

Still, a few months later, after my fellow Janathon participants had a whip round for me and presented me with (amongst other things) an amazon gift voucher so big it made me cry with joy and gratitude*, I was able to buy the much coveted iPod Nano.

nano

Yay.

It arrived yesterday and while playing with it, found it had a pedometer on it. As much as I hate numbers, I love statistics and spent the afternoon seeing how many steps I made going downstairs and making hot chocolate (48) or going to the conservatory to get a packet of crisps (59). Great fun. It was a bit worrying by the end of the day though, when my grand total of movement was only 744 steps. The government recommendation is 10,000.

Oops.

I made up for that today though by running 4.8 miles and by 3:30pm, I had racked up 10,004 steps and decided that meant I didn’t have to move for the rest of the day.

Result.

*I am aware I haven’t blogged about the post-Janathon 5k and lunch yet. Sorry. I will do it. Soon. Honest.

Stats
Distance: 4.82 miles
Time: 1:02:28
Pace: 12:58 m/m
Calories: 445
New iPod Nanos: 1
Pedometers: 1
Steps recorded so far today: 10,004

Lunch, interrupted

9 comments

I went out for a run and meant to do about three miles or so but I took a wrong turning and then I took another wrong turning and I ended up doing eight miles, which is more than a third of my total mileage during Janathon (thanks Fortnight Flo for pointing that out…) and it’s taken ages because I kept stopping to try and work out where I was and when I get back to the house, I’ve done 7.91 miles and so I round it up to 8 miles and when I get back it’s past lunchtime and now my feet hurt.

Stats
Distance: 8.03 miles
Time: 1:39:44
Pace: 12:25 m/m
Calories: 782
Wrong turnings: quite a few

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