Month: December 2006

One year on

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Today is the anniversary of my first venture into running. It lasted about 30 seconds.

I can remember clearly the days leading up to it. I was about halfway through my first attempt at stopping smoking and couldn’t sit still for five minutes so needed to find something to keep me busy and to burn the excess energy so I said to Kate, I might go and buy some trainers and take up jogging. She said you? Yeah, right. You don’t even believe in leaving the house in the daytime and you get taxis everywhere. But the next day I went to the shopping centre, braced myself and ventured into the scary sports shops that I thought were only for chavs, sporty people and, um, more chavs. I got myself a cheap pair of tracksuit bottoms and a hooded top and looked for a pair of trainers but couldn’t see any I liked (i.e. they had none in purple and I thought that only chavs wore trainers anyway) so I got a cheapy pair for ten English pounds in the cheapy shoe shop. I went home with my purchases and pledged that the next day I would wear my new strange clothes and go running.

And venture outside I did. On 18 December 2005 I got up and thought to myself, I know, I’ll do a few laps of the park. So I put on my new strange clothes and went to the park and started running. After half a lap of the park – point two of a mile – I stopped, gasping for air. I thought, fuck, I thought I could do better than that, I was really good at running at school. I attempted the second half of the park, but stopped after about three yards, so thought, sod it, it’s cold and this is no fun, I’m going home.

I couldn’t walk for three days after that and thought shit, I’m not going to be able to jump up and down at the Cardiacs’ gig on my birthday but Kate said, I’m sure you’ll be better by then and I was. I didn’t attempt to run again for a few weeks though. And started smoking again in the meantime on Christmas Day, but packed them in again on 3 January 2006 which is where my running story started again…

B&Q bathroom installation – day 40

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I ring Alan at the installation centre at 10:45 and say the fitters didn’t ring me on Friday to say when they’re coming back. Alan says aarrgghh. I say I’ve been to the store on Saturday and picked up the end panel, so I’ve got everything now that I need for it to be completed. Alan says it’s just that the fitters need to come back, he’ll give them a call.

Update
Alans rings at 2:20 and says he hasn’t forgotten about me, he’s still chasing the fitters. He says they’re going to speak to their manager and see when they can come back, they should be calling back within half an hour, hopefully it’ll be done before Christmas.

Yeah, but which Christmas? I’m going to be eating my Christmas dinner off the two big boxes containing the sink that I don’t need at this rate.

My cat likes sitting on the boxes though, she’ll be miffed when they go.

Update #2
Alan from the installation centre leaves a message on my mobile at 4:30 to say that he’s spoken to the fitters and they should be able to get someone to me tomorrow before 9am and if there’s any problems, to give him a ring.

Could my bathroom be finished tomorrow?

This is what needs to be done:

Flooring to be finished.
Bath panels to be put on.
Ceiling light replaced.
Toilet to be fixed.
Bottom of sink to be put on.
Riser rail put up.
Cabinets put up.
Pipes removed from back garden and taken away.
New sink to be taken away.

And not to f**k anything up and not to leave my window open.

B&Q bathroom installation – day 39

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My carefully laid plans for Friday and Saturday were to go to the gym after work on Friday and get up early on Saturday, go for a run, see the roofer at 11, then go to B&Q to get the bath end panel.

What happened was that I got to work on Friday morning and Tracey’s sent me an email saying do you want to come for a drink tonight?  I said, ooh, tempting, very tempting, as I haven’t had a drink all week, but I was going to go the gym tonight.  She said you can go to the gym tomorrow.  I said my rucksack is very heavy.  She said there’s a cloakroom in the bar, sorry I’m being a bad influence, aren’t I?  I said that’s ok, bad influences are good, hmm, if I’m tempted to go for a drink now at 9:50am, then there’ll be no hope for me come 5 o’clock.  I said if you’re working in Farringdon, shall we go for a vegan Chinese first to soak up the alcohol?  She said good idea.

So we went and stuffed our faces with a vegan Chinese all you can eat for £5 buffet in Leather Lane and then went and drank organic lager, dutch lager, wine and champagne cocktails which wasn’t exactly conducive to me getting up early this morning to go for a run.  In fact I only got up half an hour before the roof man came round.  I was scared about the roof man coming round as the TV programmes would have you believe that all roofers do is charge you £2,000 to go and sit on your roof and eat chips and drink tea but this roof man said to be honest, it’s not too bad, it only needs a bit of pointing, it’ll cost £80.  £80!  Cool.  He said you haven’t got any lead flashing like the other houses but it doesn’t really matter.  I said how much would that cost.  He said £800.  So it’s up to you, £80 or £800, I know what I would do.  I said yes, I think I like the £80 solution best, when can you do it?  He said probably mid-week, it depends on the weather, I can’t do it when it’s raining as it will just wash away.

So hurrah, I’m going to get my roof fixed and it won’t rain inside the house now when it’s pissing down outside 🙂

After my good roofing news, me and my hangover take a little walk down to B&Q and go up to the bathroom department but Maryam’s busy designing a bathroom for someone (eek, don’t do it!!!) so I say to Kuldip I’m here to pick up a panel.  Mayam overhears and says yes, it’s in the warehouse.  Kuldip goes off to the warehouse and comes back and says what kind of panel?  I say it’s an Aloha one.  He goes back off and comes back with the panel and says is there any paperwork, do you have to pay?  I say no, I don’t have to pay for it.  He says hmm, I think you should pay with bribery.  I let him off for being unfunny as he has a nice voice and as I’m leaving the security man says did you come in here with that panel?  I say no, I just came to pick it up.  He says you came to pick it up?  I say yes, if you want to check you can ask Maryam.  He says it’s ok and decides not to arrest me for stealing an end panel.

So now I have the end panel, I have everything I need to finish my bathroom.  Except the fitters who, woo, what a surprise, didn’t ring me yesterday to say when they were coming back.

But I don’t care because my roof’s only going to cost £80 to fix and as I was walking to B&Q I saw a poster for a funfair in Hyde Park and I like funfairs, only problem is most of my friends are too scared to go on the good rides so it looks like I’m going to have to drag Bernard there, as he likes the scary rides too 🙂

B&Q bathroom installation – day 38

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Donald from the store rings at 12:10 and says the panel is at the store and he’ll bring it round tonight on his way home, some time after 6.  I say I’m not in this evening, can I pick it up tomorrow?  He says yes, he’ll be there from 8-11.  I say I won’t be there by then, I’ve got someone coming to look at my roof at 11.  He says that’s  ok, Maryam will be at the store all day ’til 6.  I say actually, could you bring it round on your way home tomorrow?  He says he’s  not going straight home, he’s going to South London.  I say ok, that’s fine, I’ll pick it up myself, no problem.

I ring Alan at the installation centre at 2:10 and say Donald from the store rang to say my panel’s there and I’m going to pick it up tomorrow.  Can you arrange for the fitters to come back some time next week please?  He says he tried to ring them earlier but couldn’t get through and he’s sent them an email and he’ll try and ring them again.

Alan rings back and says he’s spoken to the fitters and they’re going to look at their book and phone me to say when they can come back.

They’d better not start bleating about their completion note again.

My first piss-taker

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I was true to my word to myself and went out for 3 miles.  Almost.  But I can let myself off the .16 miles under 3 that it was.

Not that I ever have an easy run, but that was hard from start to finish.  I am absolutely knackered now, think I’ve been struck down by the mysterious sleeping disease again which is weird, as I’ve been feeling energetic today and was spurred on to run tonight by my scales which told me I’m 8 stone something for the first time in weeks.  Yay.  Fuck off 9 stone.

Went past another big yellow sign appealing for witnesses to another serious sexual assault which happened in a car in the road next to my old road.  I’ll be too scared to leave the house soon.  That’s the fourth one recently.  I’ll continue to wear my big orange personal alarm.  And maybe get a gun too.  Then I’ll be fully armed with my big orange personal alarm, a gun and my “don’t fuck with me” look.

Aah, then I had my first piss-taker, bless.  A man decided it would be funny to do arm movements, like he was running.    I feel honoured now I’ve had my first piss-taker.  Don’t suppose it’ll be the last.

Stats:
Miles: 2.84
Total time: 31:23
Average pace: 11:02 minute/mile
Average speed: 5.4mph
Max speed: 7.0mph
Total calories: 232
Weather: 57F
Music:
Graham Coxon – Spectacular
Graham Coxon – Are You Ready
Scissor Sisters – Lights
The Secret Machines – Alone, Jealous and Stoned
The Secret Machines – Faded Lines
Siouxsie and the Banshees – Peek-A-Boo

Another B&Q post

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Whilst I was having a browse through pages of some more disgruntled B&Q customers on the web (and, believe me, there’s a lot of them – why couldn’t I find any six months ago when I was looking for stuff about B&Q bathrooms and deciding whether to go with them or not?!!!), I came across this news article.

That is funny, wish I’d been there 🙂

I think this guy is particularly pissed off with them too.

B&Q bathroom installation – day 37

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Pete Hawkins the installation services manager leaves a message on my mobile at 11:27 asking me to call him to arrange a site visit.  I call him back at 11:30 and leave a message on his mobile.  He calls me back straight away and says he needs to arrange a site visit, when I am available?  I say either first thing, evenings or Saturday.  He says he doesn’t do evenings or Saturdays and he’s just about booked up until after Christmas but he could do Thursday or Friday next week.  I say, actually, I’m off next Friday, I can do then.  He says what time?  I say any time, morning would be best.  he says 10:30?  I say yes, that’s fine.  He says ok then, see you 10:30 on Thursday.  I say no, it’s Friday.  He says oh yes, sorry.  I say Friday of next week, 22nd?  He says yes.

Oh goody, I’m going to get to rant face to face to a B&Q manager on my birthday, heh heh 🙂

(I’m not actually very good at ranting either on the phone, or face to face, only in writing.  I’m actually a complete wimp.)

B&Q bathroom installation – day 36

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Feels more like day 365, yawn…

I ring Alan at the installation centre at 2:50 and say no one’s rung to say when I’m getting the end panel. He says it’s not at the store yet, he rang them at 1:30. I say oh ok, I can always go and get it from the store on Saturday, I assume it’s not that heavy? He says that’s fine, he’ll make sure it’s definitely at the store by Saturday and will let me know.

I say there’s other things the fitters can be getting on with, is it that they just don’t want to come back until I’ve got the panel? He says he believes that is the case, yes.

Lazy bastards.

But I’ve found myself a 5k to enter at the end of January and this has made me happy. Why has the thought of having to get up really early on a Saturday morning and travel for about an hour to go and run round a park in the freezing cold made me happy?

Update
Big boss lady Yvonne at the fitters leaves a voicemail on my mobile at 6:30 while I’m at the gym. She says they did some work in my bathroom on behalf of B&Q and has noticed I haven’t returned the completion note. She carries on to say that if there is still work outstanding, then I can tick box B and write down what is left to be done, but if all work has been done, then tick box A and send it back. She says she’d really appreciate it if I could either tick box A or B and send it back to her.

Fuck off you dozy bitch. You don’t even know if your fitters have finished the job? Why not ask them, or if they’re too stupid (as I imagine they are) to know if a half-finished bathroom is finished or not, then ask the B&Q installation service centre who can tell you that it is not finished. And as for appreciating it if I’d send the completion notice back, well, I would have appreciated it if you had turned up on 9 October to start work like you were supposed to and finished it that same week; not start work three weeks later and, even then, seven weeks down the line it’s still not finished. And not only would I appreciate it if your fitters didn’t throw the pipes out of the window into my back garden and leave them there where they still reside, I would also appreciate it if your fitters didn’t leave my window wide open twice, didn’t leave my keys in the gas meter box, didn’t rip my kitchen floor, turned up on time (and that’s when they even bothered turning up) and didn’t leave me notes that I can’t do anything about when I get home late but instead call me and let me know if there’s a problem.

I think you know where you can stuff your completion notice, don’t you?

Aah, I feel better now 🙂

Stupid cow.

Healthy Tuesday

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Woo, get me, I went to an Italian restaurant for lunch today and didn’t have pizza. I didn’t even have the penne with roasted aubergines, olives and mozzarella that sounded very nice. No, I had a nice healthy, low fat spaghetti and tomato sauce and very nice it was too. My next pizza is going to be a week tomorrow. Just for your information and in case you were getting worried about my low pizza intake.

Anyway, to continue on with my healthy day and after being struck down by a mysterious sleeping illness yesterday afternoon which meant I didn’t get to the gym after work like I’d planned to and was asleep at 9pm, I chanted (in my head, I don’t go round talking to myself. Not very often, anyway) “go for a run you lazy bitch” all the way home and by the time I got home I was looking forward to it, plus Tuesday is my traditional go for a run day, apart from last Tuesday which was go to see a play about a runner day, so out the door I went. Walked two feet and thought, shit, I’m knackered, I want to go home.

But I carried on on a pretty uneventful run, with just thoughts about how it’s not a good idea to be a prostitute in Ipswich at the moment and, anyway, I’m glad I’m not a prostitute because I can’t walk in heels so I’ll stick to my day job and continue wearing my Converse (all six pairs of them, not at the same time though, obviously).

B&Q bathroom installation update
No update today. No one rang to say when Donald’s bringing over the panel and no one rang to say when the installation manager’s coming to look at my kitchen floor.

Stats:
Miles: 2.08
Total time: 22:10
Average pace: 10:40 minute/mile
Average speed: 5.6mph
Max speed: 7.1mph
Total calories: 190
Weather: 51F
Music:
Eminem – Hustlers and Hardcore
Courtney Love – All The Drugs
The Beta Band – Broke
Ween – The Argus

B&Q bathroom installation – day 34

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Hurrah, my mate Alan at the installation centre is back from wherever it is people at B&Q go on holiday (Homebase probably) and rings me at 10.45.  He says he’s just going through the notes and is ringing to see what’s outstanding as he last spoke to me at the end of November.

I say I’m waiting for the bath panel.  I say it’s coming by Parcel Force and they tried to deliver last Monday but I wasn’t in and they left a card to say they’d try again Tuesday or Thursday, I couldn’t quite read it, but they haven’t as they haven’t left a card or anything and I did speak to someone at the installation centre last week but I don’t know his name and he said he couldn’t arrange another delivery until that delivery had failed and you had the panel back.  Alan says that’s right.

He says what else is outstanding?  I say the floor needs finishing as the designer didn’t measure properly and I had to buy more floor, also the ceiling light needs replacing.  And the toilet needs screwing down or something as since the floor was put down, it moves and squeaks.

Alan says what’s this about your kitchen floor being torn?  I say yes, they ripped my kitchen floor.  He says have the fitters done anything about it?  I say no, they haven’t said anything.  I say Jackie said she was going to speak to your compensation team about replacing it.  Alan says I don’t know anything about that as I’ve been off, and now Jackie’s off.

He says he’ll see what he can do about the bath panel.  I say it has to be a before 9am delivery, as I can’t take any time off.  My boss won’t let me have any more time off as I’ve taken off too much already.  Alan says, hmm, how about a Saturday delivery?  I say yes, Saturday’s fine.  He says he’ll see what he can do.

The designer first came round at the end of July.  Five months later…

Update
Alan rings back at 11:50 and says the panel is going back to the store and I can either pick it up from there or they can deliver it.  I say can they deliver it on Saturday?  He says they don’t deliver on Saturdays but the guy who works there who lives near me can drop it round on his way to work or from work.  I say that’s fine but I don’t think he starts work ’til 10 and I leave at 8:30.  Alan says well he’ll probably drop it off on his way home then.  I say what time, as I don’t get in ’til about 6:30, will he ring first?  He says he’ll make sure he definitely rings first and it will probably be Wednesday or Thursday.

Alan says, about your floor, the compensation team need to claim back the money from the fitters so I have to send the installation manager round to have a look.  I say that’s fine.  He says you can discuss anything else about the installation with him but obviously the floor’s the main concern.  He says he’ll ring me to arrange a time for him to come round.

I’m bored of my bathroom now.

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