Month: January 2007

Best intentions

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I had planned to go for a four mile run after work tonight in an attempt to exercise some damage limitation in anticipation of Thursday’s alcohol and pizza sesh but I went the wrong way and didn’t want to improvise and all I’d run was a small one mile loop that went back to my house but instead of going back inside and getting my dinner which is obviously what my feet wanted to do which is why they took me the wrong way I continued and did 3 miles. Ish. Near enough anyway. It wasn’t a very speedy run as there were too many people out and about and being inconsiderate enough to be on their way home from work and getting in my way. I am going to have to stop swearing at people under my breath as one day I’m going to get a slap.

But I am still fuming about the B&Q fitters and I rang the ISC today and spoke to Nicola and said I’ve got a completion notice from your fitters but I didn’t sign it, they forged my signature. She said she’d have to speak to the installation manager because she didn’t know how to deal with it and that’s quite serious. I said it’s criminal. She rang me back and said that the senior management team are going to have an internal investigation but they don’t want to influence me in any action I might want to take and she’ll update me within 5 working days.

I had hoped those fitters had fucked off out of my life a couple of weeks ago. Bastards.

Stats:
Miles: 2.85
Total time: 32:35
Average pace: 11:25 minute/mile
Total calories: 250
Weather: not too cold
Fitters forging completion notices: 1
Music:
Mark Ronson – Ooh Wee
Depeche Mode – See You
Young Knives – Weekends And Bleak Days
Cardiacs – To Go Off And Things

Just when you thought it was all over

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I posted my letter of complaint today to B&Q but I should have waited as the fitters have excelled themselves and committed forgery now.

I got home tonight and they’ve sent me a customer copy of a completion notice.  I didn’t realise at first it was a customer copy and thought they’d sent me it to sign and just laughed and thought if you think I’m signing anything for you tossers you can kiss my arse but then I noticed “my” signature on it.  WHAT THE FUCK?!!!  Those wankers have forged my signature and I know this because (a) I didn’t sign a completion notice and had no intention of signing anything, even when they had completed the job; (b) it is dated 29 November which is when the flooring was started but not finished as I didn’t have enough flooring so why the fuck would I have signed a completion notice for an incomplete job; (c) there is an “X” next to a box that says print name and I am not so stupid that I can’t follow a simple instruction like print my name; and (d) I wouldn’t put anything past them.

Looks like it’s back on the phone to my mate Alan tomorrow then.  As far as I’m aware forgery is a criminal matter and like fuck are they getting away with it.

I’m so annoyed I think I’m going to burst.

Chips & churches

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I took my self-fixing camera out with me this morning on the way to the gym and on the way back decided to take pics of the churches that I pass.  But the pics are a bit crap so I’m not going to bother posting them but after I took a pic of the Lighthouse church a woman who was outside it asked me if I liked their church.  And instead of saying it’s a good name for a chip shop, I said yes, it’s very nice.  I should have said but it’s not your church though, I’m half Methodist, so it’s half my church too.  Although I have absolutely no idea what being a Methodist involves but I think you’re not supposed to drink but as my dad didn’t take any notice of that bit what with him being an alcoholic and that, I reckon I can be let off too.  I’m not sure if being Methodist means you’re supposed to go to church though because my dad didn’t do that bit either.  I don’t think he took being a Methodist very seriously.

And while I was in the gym not being a Methodist, there was a couple holding hands.  Why would you hold hands in the gym?  Did she think he was going to go off with one of the gym bunnies there?  I didn’t see where they went which was a shame because I wanted to see if they were going to get on adjoining treadmills and still hold hands.

I finished my letter of complaint to B&Q yesterday, yah!  Everyone cross their fingers that I get a reasonable amount of compensation.

Stats:
Miles: 4.09
Total time: 49:54
Average pace: 12:11 minute/mile
Total calories: 383
Weather: cold
Churches named after chip shops: 1
Couples in the gym holding hands : 1
Music:
Bobby Conn – When The Money’s Gone
Bobby Conn – King For A Day
Cardiacs – Gina Lollabridgida
Teardrop Explodes – Sunspots
Lily Allen – Alfie
Wasted Youth – Jealousy
Wasted Youth – I Wish I Was A Girl
Young Knives – She’s Attracted To
Neneh Cherry – 7 Seconds

National running day

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It must be National Running Day because there were a lot of people out running.  Most of them going in the opposite direction to me.  I must be so unfashionable I don’t even know which way to run.  There was another man obviously v. unfashionable too as he came running past me and I turned round as I heard him approaching and I obviously looked like I thought he was going to mug me and so he gave me a big smile and a big cheery “morning” so then I decided that he wasn’t going to mug me after all.  But in fact, I hadn’t thought he was going to mug me anyway.  At least I’d looked the right way when he was behind me, unlike the cyclist who overtook me on my right, as I looked to my left to see who was coming up behind me.  Duh.

And good news, my camera has fixed itself, yah!!  I didn’t take it out today though as I did the same route as I did when it broke so here are the pics from then.

There weren’t many people out on the river today, the other week there were loads, here’s a couple of canoeists.

And some swans and ducks.

And a squirrel.

And another picture of the squirrel, because you can’t have too many pictures of squirrels.  Or penguins but I didn’t see any penguins.  Or cows but the cows are gone.  Grr.

And there’s a pub in the marshes, cool!  Although my Saturday run is too early to go to the pub.  Not that I remember what drinking’s  like.  How many days ’til February?

And here’s a wreath.  Probably someone got into a fight after drinking in the pub.  Maybe I won’t go to that pub after all.

And back out onto the street and continuing on the pub run theme.  This pub does a v. nice veggie lasagne.  Yum.

And here’s where I got v. drunk on New Years Eve where my camera first sort of broke but then unbroke itself and then as I was taking this pic, in a spooky coincidence kind of way, broke again.

Stats:
Miles: 4.53
Total time: 49:31
Average pace: 10:55 minute/mile
Total calories: 391
Weather: 50F
Cameras fixing themselves: 1
Shopping days left in January: 5
Days without pizza and alcohol: 24
Music:
Bobby Conn – When The Money’s Gone
The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster – Puppy Dog Snails
Teardrop Explodes – Reward
Depeche Mode – See You
Lily Allen – Smile
Peter Bjorn and John – Amsterdam

I think winter’s here

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Although it took me all afternoon to warm up, due to a power cut at work which left us with no computers or heating all morning, I didn’t wimp out and buy a treadmill to run on when it’s minging but went out into the freezing cold instead. I wrapped up nice and warm though and put on my new gloves that the nice people at Start Fitness gave me (that’s the last mention of my free gloves, I promise).

And I think my diet of no alcohol and pizza is working because I’ve shrunk and my run was easy(ish) and reasonably fast for me today so hurrah to diets of no alcohol and pizza. But my diet of no alcohol and pizza ends next Thursday when it isn’t January anymore and me and Gary are getting alcohol and pizza. I said as we haven’t drunk for almost a month, we’ll be drunk before the pizzas get here so he said we should wait until the pizzas arrive before drinking. Got to wait even longer? Eek! And tomorrow when we go to see the greatest musician in the world ever (that’s Bobby Conn, by the way) we can look at Kate with disdain, as she’s drinking and smoking. Although she’ll probably be thinking, mmm, this wine/lager’s really nice and you can’t have any, ha ha.

Next month I’m giving up shopping. February’s a short month though so it should be ok and after all, there’s still a week left to shop in January. Yay.

Stats:
Miles: 2.63
Total time: 29:12
Average pace: 11:06 minute/mile
Total calories: 233
Weather: 41F
Greatest musicians in the world ever playing a gig tomorrow: 1
Shopping days left in January: 8
Days without pizza and alcohol: 20
Music:
Sultans of Ping – Michiko
Subhumans – Urban Guerillas
Soft Cell – Meet Murder My Angel
Human League – Get Carter
Sex Pistols – Satellite
Morcheeba – Let Me See

Cold and windy

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Brrrrrr, it was cold and windy this morning so I put on my new gloves that the nice people at Start Fitness sent me and ran to the gym. I thought the gym would warm me up sufficiently so that I didn’t need to wear the gloves on the way back but it was even more cold and my hands are numb because I didn’t want to stop and take off my rucksack and retrieve the gloves that the nice people at Start Fitness sent me and I can’t type properly now.

And I’ve got to go back out into the cold and go to Sainsburys because I went to the Somerfield near me that I thought was quite good and much better than the Somerfields near the gym but today it was crap and didn’t have any leeks or peppers so I threw my basket down in a strop and walked out. So much for me telling Kate on Tuesday that I’ve been more chilled out since I’ve been doing the no drinking in January thing; the last few days I’ve been back to my usual irritable self and wanting to kill the annoying people on the tube and train. Now I want to kill whoever’s in charge of buying leeks and peppers for Somerfield because they’ve made me have to go back out in the cold and waste more time instead of continuing with my letter to B&Q which is up to page 5/day 11 (out of 52) at the mo. I hope the people at B&Q can read. Maybe I should do an audio version for them too.

Stats:
Miles: 3.90
Total time: 45:56
Average pace: 11:46 minute/mile
Total calories: 334
Weather: 50F
Leeks and peppers in Somerfield: 0
Music:
Abba – Dancing Queen
Ween – Tired and True
Supergrass – Mary
The Specials – Blank Expression
Simian – Tree In A Corner
Sex Pistols – No Feelings
Rolling Stones – You Can’t Always Get What You Want
Rolling Stones – Let’s Spend The Night Together
Nirvana – Lithium
Auf Der Mayer – Beast Of Honor
Levellers – One Way
Half Man Half Biscuit – 27 Yards Of Dental Floss
Gary Numan – Remember, I Was Vapour
The Cure – A Night Like This
Citizen Fish – Back To Zero
Catatonia – Why I Can’t Stand One Night Stands
Bobby Conn – Whores
Blur – Trimm Trabb
Babes In Toyland – Magick Flute

No cows

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After being completely shattered this week and only having the energy to watch Celebrity Big Brother then go to sleep, I went out for my usual Saturday morning run and decided to take my old route and go and see the cows and horses. Just as I got round the corner from my house, a man stopped me and tried to give me a religious leaflet. I obviously look like I need saving. He must know I watch CBB and is trying to save me from myself.

It was quiet over the marshes this morning. This must be because THE COWS ARE GONE! Where have the cows gone? What’s the point of going over the marshes if the cows aren’t there? Who do I write to to demand the immediate return of the cows? Bah.

Then I got to the bridge where the girl was attacked and, bloody hell, there’s a new big yellow sign appealing for witnesses to another serious sexual assault on 11 October at 5pm. But that doesn’t make sense as the first one was on 8 October and for a week after there had been one or two policemen permanently there not letting anyone through the bridge. I don’t think I’m going to be going under that bridge again.

I only saw four people over there today. There was a dodgy looking man standing by a fence off the track but then I saw he had two dogs with him so I decided he wasn’t dodgy. Then when I was walking up the steep (steep to me, ok?) bit on the other side of a bridge a female jogger came along and said “morning” to me and then just as I got to the last stretch there was a woman walking her dogs who also said “morning” to me. Aah, it’s nice when people are friendly. Unlike the people in the gym who are completely miserable and yesterday when I was in the gym and thinking that they’re all completely miserable a girl came into the changing room and said hello to me and so I thought, hurrah, not everyone’s completely miserable after all. Then on the last stretch a man zoomed past me and then stopped a bit further up and pretended to do stretching exercises but he did give me a smile as I went past him.

So that’s my run for the day. Now I have to do some work and write my LONG letter of complaint to the morons on Planet B&Q and speaking of B&Q, here’s the before and after pics of my new bathroom light.

Stats:
Miles: 2.96
Total time: 33:20
Average pace: 11:15 minute/mile
Total calories: 274
Weather: 51F
Christians trying to save me: 1
Cows: 0
Magpies: 18
People saying good morning: 2
New signs appealing for witnesses: 1
Days without alcohol: 17
Music:
Stereo Total – L’amour a 3
Kula Shaker – The Dancing Flea
Kasabian – Pinch Roller
Marc Almond – Saint Judy
The Holloways – Nothing For The Kids
Half Man Half Biscuit – The Song Of Encouragement For Orme Ascent
Eminem – Kill You
Eminem – Kurtis
Bikini Kill – Jet Ski
Big Boi – Bamboo

B&Q bathroom installation – THE END (ish)

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Monday morning the electrician turns up at 8:20 and I show him the new light and he says, yes, that’s ok.  At 8:30 the plumber turns up.  I leave them to it and go to work.

I get home and the new light is on the ceiling and the toilet’s got the new seat on and it’s been resealed and doesn’t squeak anymore.  Hurrah!  But have they f****d anything up?  Of course they have.  The plumber’s managed to scratch the floor by the toilet.  Grr.  He’s even stolen two toilet rolls.  I’m going to assume they’re stolen as the alternative isn’t something I want to think about.  And I hadn’t even thought of that until I went to work and told a colleague there were two toilet rolls  missing and she said “eeeeeeeeeeeeeugh”.

But my bathroom is finished (except for a new blind that I still have’t bought) and that means that B and poxy bloody useless fucking Q won’t be stepping foot inside my house again, yah!!  Bye bye B&Q.

This morning (Tuesday) Alan from the installation centre rings and says how’s your bathroom?  I say it’s all finished although they have scratched the bathroom floor but it’s not very big and I can live with it as I don’t want them round again.  He says you need to send us a couple of quotes for a new kitchen floor, have you got any quotes yet?  I say no, not yet, does it have to be like for like?  He says what do you mean?  I say does it have to be the same sort of floor?  He says he supposes so, it should be about the same price, although the colour probably doesn’t matter.  He says do you have our address?  I say no.  He says hang on, he’ll get it.  I say don’t you know where you work?  He says yes but I don’t know the exact address.  He says he’ll pass on the notes so I can get compensation.  I say is that just for the kitchen floor?  He says he’ll send them notes of the whole thing.  I say because I want to make a complaint.  He says he thought I would.  He says am I happy with the bathroom?  I say it’s not a brilliant job but it’s ok.  I thank him for his help.  Aw, I’m going to miss my daily moan about the fitters to Alan.  I don’t suppose he’s going to miss me.

Next stage is writing my letter of complaint.  That’ll keep me out of mischief on Saturday.

Powered by a mango smoothie

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I don’t usually eat before I go running in the morning but today decided to have a mango smoothie and hurrah, I actually managed to run to the gym and back without stopping today. First time for everything, yah!

The gym’s still quite busy with new year resolution people (grr, bloody new year resolution people are filling up my body pump class so I can’t book myself onto it) and yoga lady was in there as usual doing strange things on the rowing machine again so when she got on the cross-trainer I wondered if she was going to use it differently to how everyone else does and yes, she went on it backwards without holding on to the sticks. She did it without falling off too.

I found out last week that the flats opposite the gym cost from £220k. Eek, £220k (when they were built, so must be about £300k now) for a two-bedroom flat where you’d have to keep the curtains closed all the time as it overlooks the gym and you’ve got everyone looking at you. You’d need the gym though if you lived there as the gym’s next to Pizza Hut (mmm, pizza!), which is next to KFC (I think, or is it Burger King?) and also it’s opposite the supermarket and the tube, so the furthest you’d ever have to walk is about 100 yards.

B&Q update
Jackie from the installation centre rang on Friday and said the electrician will be round at 8 on Monday and also a plumber will come and replace the toilet seat and fix the squeak then, fingers crossed, it will be all finished.

Aah, a life without B&Q, could it happen? Will Monday be the end of this saga? I still need to write my long letter of complaint though and get some compensation and I still need to get a quote for a replacement kitchen floor that the tossers ripped.

Stats:
Miles: 4.26
Total time: 45:68
Average pace: 10:44 minute/mile
Total calories: 358
Weather: 51F
Weekends without alcohol: 2
Music:
Cardiacs – Eden On The Air
Bjork – Violently Happy
Divine Comedy – Songs Of Love
Daisy Chainsaw – Everything Is Weird
Babes In Toyland – Laugh My Head Off
The Cult – Speed Of Light
The Cure – The Walk
Courtney Love – Zeplin Song
Citizen Fish – Over The Fence
Boomtown Rats – Looking After Number One
The Beta Band – Quiet
Ash – Orpheus
Arctic Monkeys – When The Sun Goes Down
Air – Sex Born Poison
Baby Bird – Eyes In The Back Of Your Head
Cribs – Another Number
Hard-Fi – Cash Machine
Half Man Half Biscuit – See That My Bike’s Kept Clean
Ian Brown – Lions
Kula Shaker – Guitar Man
Stero Total – I Love You Ono
New Model Army – Poison Street
Soft Cell – Fun City
The Young Knives – The Night
Sultans of Ping – Veronica
Straw – Moving To California

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