Author: jogblog

Back to basics

9 comments

About a year ago, I acquired a pair of Vibram Five Fingers.

vibram_five_fingers

I didn’t get any further than trying them out around the house.

But because it’s Juneathon and Juneathon (for me, anyway) is about being creative and trying new things, I thought I’d do at least one Juneathon run in them.

Today was that day.

The worst thing, by far, is trying to get your toes into the little toe pockets. Does this get easier the more you wear them? I eventually get my toes into them and decide that if I’m going to do a ‘natural’ run, then I’d also leave my iPod at home (well, I was only going to do about three quarters of a mile, so I decided I could probably live without it for that short a distance).

I thought they’d feel really weird, but they didn’t. I could feel the different textures of the ground beneath me but it wasn’t a completely barefoot feeling (probably because I wasn’t completely barefoot).

Whenever I’ve run without an iPod before (ok, on the occasion when I ran without an iPod), my feet sound tremendously heavy and the bang bang bang on the ground, along with my heavy breathing, is very off-putting. In the VFFs, I didn’t seem to be pounding the pavement quite so heavily but my breathing definitely needs sorting out. I seem to take lots of little breaths and it sounds very weird.

Because I’d read that you shouldn’t go too far on your first VFF outing, I just did a short .8 of a mile loop round by Tescos then back through the little park.

Running in VFFS was fun and if I can be bothered to try to get them back on my feet again, I’ll definitely be giving them another go, although this will be when the weather warms up; my toes were freezing at the end of the run.

Stats
Distance: 0.8 miles
Time: 8:14
Pace: 10:19 m/m
Calories: 84
Time spent trying to put on VFFs: lots
Ipods: 0
Cold toes: 10

Crisis Square Mile Run 2011

2 comments

After dozing off on the futon in the conservatory on Wednesday afternoon, I spent the evening feeling massively tired and didn’t wake up feeling any better on Thursday and so I emailed Shaun at work to tell him that I was officially pulling out of the Crisis Square Mile Run. This ended up with him coming in at 3:30pm and pulling me out of bed and dragging me on the train to London with him.

Bah.

Although, it wasn’t bah really as I felt really sad at the thought of missing Crisis as it was my first ever race and I’d done it five years in a row and if there was ever a race I wasn’t going to miss, it was that one.

This year, my feelings towards Crisis had changed and this year was going to be my last due to me not being very happy about changes to the organisation this year.

First, the entry fee went up by £6 from £12 to £18. That’s quite a big rise and makes it quite an expensive race, considering the organisers never know exactly how long the route will be (last year it was advertised at 3.5 miles but turned out to be 4.2) and so it is just a fun run.

Still, with eyebrows slightly raised, but unperturbed, I went to sign up and pay my entry fee. Now I did get perturbed. Muchly perturbed. To enter this year’s Crisis, I was FORCED to create a Virgin Money fundraising page. Fucking cheeky pisstakers. I even emailed them to tell them they were fucking cheeky pisstakers (I promise I was more tactful than that).

A few weeks later, I received a cardboard cut-out of a foot, in an envelope, with postage paid on it, reminding me to sign up for the race. I SIGNED UP WEEKS AGO, WHY ARE YOU WASTING CHARITY MONEY SENDING PIECES OF CARDBOARD IN ENVELOPES TO PEOPLE? Shaun also received the same piece of cardboard in an envelope. Was he equally rankled? Oh yes. He was rankled enough to email them and complain.

Then everyone received an email saying how delighted Crisis were to be offering chip timing this year. What the hell is the point of offering chip timing for a route that is a different distance each year? Pointless. And to be even more pointless, you could only get the pointless chip timing if you collected your chip from London the day before the race, which is fine if you live or work near the chip collection place. Not so fine if you live, say, 60 miles away in Kent.

I decided that this year would be my last run for Crisis due to the immense arseholery of this year’s organisation.

This year though, we walked the mile or so from London Bridge to Paternoster Square where we met up with Tom and Grant and picked up our red t-shirts. I usually get changed in Corney & Barrow but this year there were scary looking bouncers outside so I decided to get changed in the toilets in the square.

Because I’d told my friend Gary the bag lookerafterer I was officially pulling out of Crisis and therefore he was off bag looking after duty, we had to use the official bag storage and so we dumped our bags then went back to the square to wait for the start. Along with the usual embarrassingly cringeworthy dancing warm-up thing, everyone had to lie on the floor for a photograph to be taken to raise awareness of people sleeping on the streets.

The race started on time. Yes, on time. Proper on time and everything. 7pm on the dot. Shock shock horror horror shock shock horror, etc.

At 2 miles, I decided I’d had enough of people pushing me and cutting me up and elbowing me (that really hurt; can’t fat people have fat elbows too?) and I wondered which was the best way to get back to St Paul’s but then I thought I might as well carry on the last two miles as it’d probably take me longer to find my way back and anyway, did I really want to DNF? and I decided I didn’t really want to DNF, as it wasn’t like I was injured or anything, I was just feeling a bit sick and fed up and so I carried on and I was walking and walking until I got to the path that leads under the Millennium Bridge and I saw Shaun standing next to Tom and Grant on the bridge and so I started running as I didn’t want them to see me walking but they all had their backs to me and there were two men in white t-shirts next to them waving to someone and I thought about trying to get their attention so they could poke Shaun and make him turn round SO HE COULD SEE HIS GIRLFRIEND RUNNING UP TO THE BRIDGE but I didn’t get their attention and so Shaun didn’t see me and when I got under the bridge I thought fuck it then and started walking and I walked over Southwark Bridge and got over taken by two ladies of a certain age wearing those skanky “I Red heart 2 Run” Royal Parks Half Marathon 2009 t-shirts and I thought you flipping well don’t look like you heart to run as you’re shuffling along looking very uncomfortable indeed but they are at least going faster than me and they get quite a way ahead and so I make it my personal target to beat them and so I start running again and when I get to the bottom of Southwark Bridge, there’s stairs going down to the path that leads up to the Millennium Bridge and I think I could cheat and go down there and it wouldn’t really be cheating as it’s not like I’m going to win or the time’s being recorded or anything and anyway, I would declare it on my blog but then I think I might get caught and so I decide not to cheat and I go the proper way and as I go round the block and back onto the path, two girls who have OBVIOUSLY CHEATED run past and the marshall looks a bit surprised in a ‘where did they come from’ kind of way and I’m glad I didn’t cheat as I think the girls look like twats for cheating and I catch up the I heart to run ladies and they’re walking up the Millennium Bridge and I don’t think I’m in any danger of them doing a sprint finish and so I run past them and run all the way down the bridge to the finish line and then Tom goes home and me, Shaun and Grant go to Harry’s Bar and get one of the nicest pizzas ever and then Grant heads off to King’s Cross and me and Shaun head back to London Bridge and Shaun goes into Londis and buys butter and milk but won’t buy me a Nutrageous Bar as he says at 89p they’re too expensive. Bah.

Stats
Distance: 4.19 miles
Time: 49:38
Pace: 11:51 m/m
Calories: 438
Crisises done so far: 6
Crisises doing in the future: 0
Ladies of a certain age: 2
Girls cheating: 2
Nutrageous Bars: 0 Black Sheep

Hardcore

2 comments

I left my sickbed and did Crisis. My Garmin said I did 4.5 miles at a sub-11 minute mile. I think my Garmin is broken.

This is the first blog written on my phone so sorry it’s crap.

Update

My Garmin was indeed lying to me as when I uploaded my stats, it said it was 3.91 miles in 49:01 which is a 12:33 pace, which is much more likely considering I walked most of it. If I press the other button though, it says it was 4.53 miles in 49:38 which is a 10:57 pace, which although would be nice, would be highly inaccurate.

But as I have come clean with my proper results, my integrity remains intact. Unlike the two girls I saw cheating at the race yesterday by taking a short cut.

Naughty.

Update no. 2

Both iliketocount and Eating Trees have recorded 4.19 miles on their Garmins, so I’m going to go with that which gives me a pace of 11:54, which is slightly less embarrassing than 12:33.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

3 comments

In case I can’t be arsed to write a proper post later, I did a test run of .75 miles to see if I could be arsed to cycle 2.5 miles to the station, sit on a train for 1 hour 20 minutes, walk for about 30 minutes to the start of the Crisis Square Mile Run, run approximately 4 miles, drink beer and eat pizza, walk back to the train station, sit on a train for about 1 hour 20 minutes and then cycle back 2.5 miles.

The answer was no.

Except for the drink beer and eat pizza bit, but I can do that without leaving the house.

Stats
Distance: .73 miles
Time: 8.05
Pace: 11:08
Calories: 76
Energy levels: 0

Gym spin thing

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I kind of ran/walked to the gym, then I did 45 minutes at spin, then I kind of walked/ran back home.

I am grumpy today so I’m not going to write a proper blog post. So ner.

Stats:
Run/walk 1
Distance: 2.57 miles
Time: 36:25
Pace: 14:12
Calories: 215

Spin
Time: 45 minutes
Calories: approx 400

Run/walk 2
Distance: 2.48 miles
Time: 37:31|
Pace: 15:08
Calories: 197

Hangover? Tough.

10 comments

I spent the day yesterday making everyone (well, about two people anyway) jealous by telling the entire world that I was going to BAFTA for the Miranda Masterclass. It was brill. And I was in the second row and close enough to poke her (not that kind of poke, you mucky pups). And after I’d been to the brill Miranda Masterclass, I went off to meet my friend Gary for drinks and food. The plan had originally been beer and Mexican food, but somehow that turned into wine and pizza. As I hadn’t had any wine for over a month, I was a bit worried about getting the last train home but all was fine. I even made the second from last train home (although that was due to the fact that the bar in the station, although open, would only give us four minutes to drink up if we bought a drink. Duh.)

Usually after an evening drinking wine, there’d be no chance of me going out for a run, but this is Juneathon and slacking isn’t an option and no matter how hard I searched Hal Higdon’s website, nowhere does it say that I’m allowed to not stick to my schedule just because I’ve been out on the piss.

Bah.

So off I went for 3.5 miles and listened to the Audiofuel Pyramid 180 Max intervals and took the walking bits very seriously indeed. Then I thought Thru the Gears might give me a bit of a boost but I ended up just listening to it as I strolled in the sunshine.

A bit of a lame Juneathon effort from me today then. But I still did it, so there.

Stats
Distance: 3.5 miles
Time: 44:51
Pace: 12:49 m/m
Calories: 328
Miranda Masterclasses: 1
Beers: 0
Wine: Lots
Mexican food: 0
Pizzas: 1
Hal Higdons letting me off due to being hungover: 0
Lame Juneathons: 1
Juneathons run so far: 7/7

Exclusive preview: Royal Parks Foundation Half Marathon 2011 T-Shirt

7 comments

I ran the first ever Royal Parks Half in 2008 (read my report). Unfortunately, they thought I was a man called Kevin and sent me a men’s t-shirt. Luckily Kevin was a bit of a weed and so it wasn’t massive but it wasn’t the nicely fitting female t-shirts I saw other girls wear.

rph_2008

I only realised they thought I was a man called Kevin when my recorded time was half an hour quicker than my Garmin said. Although I would have been delighted with a time of 1:54, I’m not sure Kevin was so happy with his new time of 2:25 and so I emailed the organisers who said yes, they were aware of the error but instead of swapping our times round, they just took me off and gave Kevin his proper time. Bah.

The next year, 2009, I once again entered the Royal Parks Half and received the lilac monstrosity of that year’s t-shirt.

rph_2009

Eek.

I didn’t make the start line that year, and so spared myself the embarrassment of running through the streets and parks of London stating that I Red heart 2 RUN. It remains unworn in my kit drawer.

For the 2010 race, I was offered a free place, but due to having moved to Kent and my running motivation being at an all time low, turned it down. Had I known that year’s t-shirt was a lovely orange one, I might have taken up their kind offer.

rph2010_1

rph2010_2

rph2010_3

 

Thanks to fairweatherrunner for the pics.

This year, I was once again lucky enough to be offered a media place and also be one of the bloggers chosen to be sent the t-shirt ahead of the mainstream media.

Earlier this year, Royal Parks Half Marathon launched a competition in The Telegraph for a member of the public to design the back of this year’s shirt.

Richard Knight, from Chomp, was their winner with his fantastic Run the Royal Parks design and every participant will receive one of these shirts on the day of the event (9th October).

rph2011_1

rph2011_2

 

rph2011_3

Nice, innit?

As with all the previous years’ shirts, it’s made from eco-friendly bamboo charcoal and recycled polyester, which is made entirely from recycled plastic bottles. As well as being environmentally friendly and comfortable, they offer distinct performance properties for runners such as high absorbency, quick dry, deodorising and thermal regulation. To see the story behind the idea for the bamboo race shirts, have a look at the following link: http://royalparkshalf.com/about/sustainability/bamboo-shirts.

I wore my t-shirt out for this morning’s Juneathon run and although it was raining, the shirt kept me comfortable and dry and I’m looking forward to wearing it along with 12,000 other runners in October.

Stats
Distance: 1.55 miles
Time: 16:37
Pace: 10:44
Calories: 163
Royal Park Halfs t-shirts: 1

Er, don’t know

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I asked Shaun for a title for my blog, and he said ‘er, don’t know’, so that’ll have to do.

Yesterday evening saw me do an extra Juneathon after my run by cycling to the Good Intent pub 3.2 miles away for beer and food. And what fantastic food and service it was, too. There was a mix up with my meal (they’d put the apple crumble topping on my leek and Wensleydale bake instead of the topping it should have had) and said I wouldn’t be charged for it. As my meal was replaced so quickly and efficiently and charmingly by the waitress, I was happy to pay for it, but the manager refused my money. How impressive is that?

Anyway, after our pub visit, I stayed up drinking more beer and watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and once again going to bed in the early hours, only once again to be woken up before my government recommendation of eight hours sleep by someone ringing a bell and telling me to get up as they wanted to go to the supermarket. I replied by saying I was doing Juneathon first and so Shaun went to the supermarket by himself and came back with what appeared to be the contents of the fat bastard aisle. Pizza and cream cakes for dinner it is then.

I said to Shaun I was going to run up to Tesco, then back through the little park to home which is about half a mile but he said I had to do more than that and gave me another route and I said but that’s about two miles and he said it’s about one point eight miles and so I measured it on Gmaps and it came out at about one point six miles and so I thought ok then, that’s probably a better Juneathon effort and so I went out into the rain and the wind and the cold and burnt off about half the cream cake I will be eating later.

Stats
Distance: 1.57 miles
Time: 16:11
Pace: 10:20 m/m
Calories: 164
8 hour sleeps: 0
Contents of fat bastard aisles: 1

equivalent_050611

The fourth of Juneathon

13 comments

I was happily drinking water yesterday, ignoring all the usual Friday tweets of ‘mmm, beer’, ‘I have beer’, ‘it’s beer o’clock’, ‘I’m going down the pub’, etc., until about 7pm when I thought sod it, I want beer too.

I was very moderate for me though and only had a couple of cans (ok plus another one) (ok plus a Pimms, too) and although I didn’t go to bed until the early hours, I got up at a reasonable time (this might have something to do with someone jumping on the bed ringing a bell shouting ‘SLEEP DISTURBANCE’) and headed off for my scheduled five miles.

I got to the rather annoying road and turned my Garmin off so it wouldn’t make me look even slower than usual while I waited for the lights to change and as I was waiting another runner came up and waited for the lights and I smiled at him but he blanked me and looked away and I thought you fucking miserable bastard and he didn’t wait for the lights to change but was brave and ran across the road but I waited for the lights to change as I don’t like to run across roads in case my laces come undone and I fall over and get squished by a car and Mr FMB is running really slowly and I think just you wait, when these lights change I’m going to overtake you but when the lights do eventually change, he’s got too far ahead and so I think well, I’ll get you next time and then I get to the trail I was hoping to find that I saw on Google Earth and hurrah, on the other side of the ditch are the biggest cows I’ve ever seen or maybe they were normal size and I just haven’t seen cows that close up before and then there’s two dogs not on a lead and one looks suspiciously like an Alsation and I don’t want to run in case it attacks me but I don’t want to stop so I run really really slowly and the maybe-an-Alsation doesn’t take much notice of me and his little Westie friend comes over and I try not to tread on it and then I’m wondering whether I should run or not as if I run away from the dogs will they run after me and I especially don’t want the dog that looks suspiciously like an Alsation to see me run up to his owner and it might run after me and attack me and rip my arm off and throw me around like a rag doll and other clichés that local newspapers come out with when anyone’s attacked by a dog but I continue to run and the dogs don’t attack me and I run past their owner and I get to the end of the trail and cross the road and run down the trail I usually go down and I get to the end and through the housing estate and I’ve only done three miles and I’ve got two to go but I’m only a mile from home and I’ll have to do some looping round the lanes and I think bah as I hate running in the lanes and I go down the trail and then back out on to the road and down a lane and stop at the bottom to look at the parish noticeboard as I like looking at parish noticeboards to see if there’s anything exciting happening although you’d think after a year and a half I would have realised nothing exciting happens round here and there’s nothing on the board except for a vacancy for a parish counsellor and I think do I want to be a parish counsellor? and I think na and then I remember that there’s lawnmower racing at a country show a few miles away this weekend and then I’m walking for a bit and then I go up another lane and I’m still walking and I always end up walking when I go up lanes as it just sucks all motivation out of me and I’ll have to find more cycle paths and footpaths to run around and then I get home and I’ve gone into double figures for Juneathon, even taking off the mile I did on a treadmill yesterday, as that doesn’t count but today’s run has been really really slow because of all the walking and I upload my data to the Running Free Online website and it gives me my estimated times for various distances based on my time today and I will have to up my game as if I did a half in 2:51 I would shoot myself in shame.

averages_040611

Stats
Distance: 5.01 miles
Time: 1:01:38
Pace: 12:19 m/m
Calories: 493
FMBs: 1
Dogs that looked suspiciously like an Alsation: 1
Westies: 1
Parish noticeboards: 1
Lawnmower races: 1
Juneathons in double figures: 1

Pump it up

6 comments

This morning I went along to the gym for my usual body pump class where I was very hardcore and used heavier weights and hurrah, my arms didn’t crack on the tricep tracks, so the glucosamine that I’ve started taking again must be doing their thing (or it’s the magic bracelet) and then after body pump I went and did twenty minutes on the rowing machine, then I had planned to do just a mile on the treadmill, although running on the treadmill doesn’t really count as running, but then I decided to do Thru the Gears and then usually on a Friday I go and do spin too but as I have a five mile run tomorrow, I didn’t really want to wear myself out even if it is Juneathon and so I wimped out of doing spin and got changed and then I had to go to the library and I decided to leave my bike where it was and walk the half mile to the library as after all, it is Juneathon, and Juneathon is all about making an extra effort and so I walked to the library and as I passed Top Shop, I saw a sign saying 20% off for students this week and so I went in and saw a stripey t-shirt that I had been eyeing the other day and I tried to work out what 20% off would be and then I saw a t-shirt with Mickey Mouse on it and I wondered if I was too old to wear a t-shirt with Mickey Mouse on it and decided I was and left the shop and opposite was Dorothy Perkins with a sign saying 30% off today and so I went in but there was nothing I liked so I went back into Top Shop and thought fuck it, if I want to wear a t-shirt with Mickey Mouse on it I will and so I bought the Mickey Mouse t-shirt and the stripey t-shirt and with my student discount got £8 off and then I went to the library to collect the books that had been reserved for me and then I strolled back through the town looking at all the teenage girls smoking over their babies and got back to my bike and cycled back.

Stats
Body pump: 45 minutes
Rowing machine: 20 minutes
Treadmill: 15 minutes
Walking: 1 mile
Cycling: 5 miles
Calories: about 845
Stripey t-shirts: 1
Mickey Mouse t-shirt: 1
Library books: 2
Teenage girls smoking over their babies: A few

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