Category: Juneathon

Juneathon Day #17

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After being harassed, harangued, hassled and other words not beginning with H by email to get out the bloody door and do my half-marathon training of 7 miles, especially as I wimped out of my 6 miles on Thursday, although I did do intervals on Tuesday which weren’t in my schedule, I blanked out the memory of last night’s not very finely tuned athlete stylee menu of wine, lager, cider, pizza, crisps and chocolate and set off for a trip round the marshes.

And on the other side of the bridge where Ben came off his bike and broke his jaw, was this flower with a bee on it.

And then I get up to the marina and see the boats.

And I think it would be nice to live on a boat although I think they’re a bit high maintenance and I will settle for my house by the sea when I get it and this boat has a cat on it.

And then I remember that it is actually someone’s home and I probably shouldn’t be taking pictures of it as if someone stood outside my house and started taking pictures I don’t think I’d be too happy really and so I get on my way and go past the pub on the other side of the river.

And I haven’t been to this pub so I think it needs investigating in the near future, and it does have this view of the marshes so would probably be quite handy in beer drinking weather.

And I’ve only gone 2 miles and I’m already knackered and want to stop for an unofficial walking break but I think to myself I can stop when I get to the ice rink and have to cross the road and then I get to the ice rink and get to my new favourite pub which is so posh even the ducks have a floating buffet and the only thing to spoil it was a dog almost pissing on me and a fat man singing Kinks’ songs.

And then I’m in Hackney Marshes and trying to forget that bodies found in the river is a regular occurrence and I practice my don’t fuck with me look in case it’s needed and I stop for another photo based emergency in the form of this tree.

And over Hackney Marshes is a big mound of sand and I wonder what it’s for and decide that the river’s probably too full of dead bodies and now they just bury them here.

I eventually get to 10k in 69 minutes and I think that’s quite fast for me, especially considering all the photos I’ve stopped to take and I’m almost home and less than a mile to do so I go along the sports field into the park to finish off my 7 miles and then I go home and bastard Sports Tracks says I’ve only done 6.91 miles but my Garmin and Training Centre say I’ve done 7.02 miles, so I’m going with that one.

Oh and happy father’s day to Mr Sore Limbs and Mr Joggerblogger 🙂 (It is today, isn’t it?)

Today’s route

Stats:
Miles: 7.02
Total time: 1:18:17
Average pace: 11:09
Total calories: 635
Bees in flowers: 1
Cats on boats: 1
Pubs by the river: 2
Music:
Cardiacs – Dirty Boy
Bobby Conn – Vanitas
Bobby Conn – Mr Lucky
The Damned – Gigolo
Cardiacs – Faster Than Snakes With A Ball And A Chain
Courtney Love – Sunset Strip
The Damned – Eloise
Courtney Love – Never Gonna Be The Same
Hole – Northern Star
Bobby Conn – Things
Cardiacs – Breakfast Line
Bobby Conn – Sinking Ship
Courtney Love – Uncool
Courtney Love – All The Drugs
Bobby Conn – Love Let Me Down
Hole – Old Age
Courtney Love – Life Despite God
Cardiacs – Mares Nest
Bobby Conn – (I’m Through With) My Ego
Cardiacs – She Is Hiding Behind The Shed

Juneathon Day #16

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Halfway through the Juneathon and I’m going to miss it when it’s over, I think that’s probably weird.  We’ll have another one next year though, eh, and Joggerblogger should approach the government with his Juneathon idea and get the nation’s fat backsides off their sofas for a month of exercise.  He can start a campaign and be the Jamie Oliver of the running world.

I do my usual warm up of playing on the internet for an hour and decide to go over the park and maybe the sports field for a quick mile and I go round the park and I’m thinking about how last night Kate said that her work’s Summer party is the day before the RfL in July and I say that if she wants to go to the party and not do the race that’s fine by me and she says no, she wants to do the race and I say ooh, you’re going to be as bad as me, I keep saying things like no I can’t go out on Saturday as I have a race the next day and then a little while later Tracey turns up and says are you coming to the Live Earth thing and I say I can’t, I have a race the next day and anyway it’s in Wembley and that’s miles away and there’s so many bands they’ll probably only come on stage and mime one song and then bugger off.

I go round the park and as I’m coming up the bank into the sports field I’m looking forward to having the place to myself, lost in my little iPod world, but then I see two men running round and I think bollocks bollocks bollocks, and over the other side of the field I see lots of people and I think bollocks bollocks bollocks but I carry on anyway but then I think na, there’s far too many people over there for my liking and they might be playing football and football and running don’t mix, so I turn round and go back the way I came and back into the park and go home.

Today’s route

Stats:
Miles: 1.16
Total time: 10:40
Average pace: 9:11
Total calories: 105
Music:
Good Charlotte – Beautiful Place
Jamiroquai – When You Gonna Learn
Peter Bjorn & John – Paris 2004

Juneathon Day #15

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Eek, I missed the midnight deadline to blog as I was too pissed tired to blog when I got in last night and it was after midnight anyway but I didn’t wimp out of the Juneathon in favour of going to the pub with Kate and Tracey as I walked from Chancery Lane to Soho instead of getting the tube so that was yesterday’s Juneathon done and dusted 🙂

Juneathon Day #14

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One of the things I like most about Juneathon is the fact I don’t have to think of titles for my posts and as I have plans for -athons lined up for July and August, it means I don’t have to think of titles for posts for ages. Hurrah.

In case anyone read on my blog yesterday that I was going to do a running commute today, I lied. Yikes, I lied on my blog, I’m never going to get into heaven now. Ho hum. I had planned to do a running commute and took into work my running gear but then I decided that a) I was absolutely f**king knackered; b) it was raining; and c) I wouldn’t have enough time to get home and have a shower and un-ming myself before Gary came round to drink beer and eat pizza get thrashed at Scrabble.

But I didn’t completely wimp out as I went to the gym after work instead and when I got to the gym there was a big sign saying that from Thursday 14 June 2007 (i.e. today) all members MUST have a valid membership card with them and I thought bugger, typical that the only time I’ve ever come without a card, they change their system and they must really mean it if they’re writing their signs with capital letters, so I went up to the girl on reception and say I haven’t got my card, can I still come in and she says yes, the new system doesn’t really come in for another week and she asks me my surname and I say white like the colour and spell it for her and then think that maybe she thinks that maybe I think that she can’t spell the word white and I ponder very briefly if I should explain that everyone gets confused by my name and asks me to spell it and I think no I should just shut up and she gives me a temporary card and I say thank you, it’s typical that the only time I’ve come without my card you’ve changed your system and she says really? and I decide not to tell her that the only reason I haven’t got my card is because I was going to run home and not come to the gym but then I decided not to run home but had to do something because of Juneathon because unless she is an avid reader of runners’ blogs and not even all runners’ blogs but just a small collection of runners, she won’t have a clue what Juneathon is. And she probably wouldn’t care anyway.

And I think to myself I will do 15 minutes on the treadmill and there’s a man on the rowing machine in front of me just sitting there with his legs open like a teenager on the tube and I think why is he just sitting there and then he starts doing sit ups on the rowing machine and I’m thinking why the fuck is he doing sit ups on the rowing machine, aren’t there mats and things to do that on? and he keeps doing sit ups and it’s really annoying me and then I’m thinking that must be really uncomfortable and I’m thinking how much longer can I stay on this treadmill with him directly in my view irritating me and he eventually stops doing sit ups and I think I will do 5k on the treadmill as that’s half a running commute but the timer is ticking away so slowly and I’m thinking I’m sure the time ticks quicker when it’s on miles on my Garmin and I’m thinking would the numbers tick away faster in miles but I can’t think because numbers do my head in but my brain is trying to work it out despite my best efforts to tell my brain that I don’t do numbers and then I think if I put the speed up it’ll go faster anyway and then I can go home so I put it up to 9kph and then a bit later I put it up to 9.6kph which bugs me as I didn’t want to go over 9.5kph and I can’t be arsed to turn it down and then when it gets to 4.5k I put it up to 10 and yay at last I get to 5k and I do the 5 minute cool down thing and go and get changed and go home.

Stats:
Treadmill
Time: 34:32
Distance: 5k
Speed: 8.5/9.0/9.6/10kph

Juneathon Day #13

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A trip to the gym at lunchtime to jump up and down on the treadmill whilst pondering life’s complexities such as why do women get called heifers when a heifer is a male calf or is it heffa, as in heffalump?

Also on my list of things to ponder while on the treadmill was what challenge to lay myself for July once the Juneathon’s over and I came to the decision that July will be a Lose the Lardathon which ordinarily would mean cutting down the beer but with us coming into the official beer drinking season (i.e. Summer) that’s a really crap idea so it’s going to have to be a Eat Less Crap But Still Drink A Bitathon and then I had a flash of inspiration and thought I will only drink on beer drinking weather days and no drinking if it’s raining.  Yah, good plan.  Although if it starts raining while I’m drinking I can carry on drinking which is an even better plan.

Tomorrow I’m going to do a running commute.  B*llocks, I’ve blogged it now, I’ll have to do it 🙂

Stats:
Treadmill: 15 minutes
Speed: 9kph
Distance: 2.2 kilometres
Rowing machine: 15 minutes
Crosstrainer: 18 minutes

Juneathon Day #12

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After being told that shopping doesn’t count for Juneathon (except it does really, as me and londonjogger say so), I thought maybe I should do some proper Juneathon stuff and casually mentioned that I was going to the gym at lunchtime whereupon I got nagged encouraged to do some interval training on the treadmill.

This entailed alternating running at 9kph and 10kph for two minutes each, repeating until I lost my balance and fell off the treadmill.  Or something like that.  It was a bit difficult at first as keeping my eye on the clock was distracting me from eyeing up the man on the treadmill in front of me concentrating on keeping my balance but I eventually got into the swing of it.  At 26 minutes I thought I’d better get back to work and with legs like jelly almost bashed my head into the crosstrainer behind me as the gym had appeared to install a moving floor while I’d been busy on the treadmill.

Interval training wasn’t on today’s schedule, so does that mean I’m let off Thursday’s 6 miles? 🙂

Stats:
Kilometres: 4
Time: 26 minutes
Speed: 9kph / 10kph
Glasses of wine drunk in the interval: 0

Juneathon Day #11

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Today’s Juneathon consisted of going to the supermarket.  I decided it counts as it is aerobic exercise (walking) and weight training (carrying the shopping back).

Thursday will see me begin my new half-marathon training schedule that Bear drew up for me.  I got very excited to see that it contains intervals until he told me that it didn’t mean the kind of intervals you drink in.  Spoilsport.

Juneathon Day #9

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So much for my lie-in. You’d have thought after a week’s worth of partying and no lie-in the previous weekend, that I could shut down a bit and not get up earlier than I do when I go to work but no, up at 7:15 and out the door to complete today’s Juneathon.

I had seen posters locally advertising a fair by the ice rink and considering the ice rink is over the marshes and a wee bit bigger than the smallest park in the world ever I went to investigate to make sure it wasn’t going to be the second smallest fair in the world ever. And, hurrah, it’s not. Look, there’s scary rides that go high up in the sky, yay.

And there’s one the same as the one me and Bernard went on in Brighton that no one else would go on because they were too chicken.

But I am not chicken. I am hardcore. Although not as hardcore as Warriorwoman who drinks Stella did a running commute last night of 10 miles.

After my investigations of the funfair have completed I think shall I do the four mile river route of the marshes and I think no I think I’ll go back the way I came and I don’t make it without walking. And then walking again. And then I think my house is only about 30 seconds away, surely I can run 30 seconds and I decide to take a picture of this nice pink flower instead.

And then I get to the park and I think I can probably manage a lap of the park and in the park are some roses and although I hate roses I take a picture of them anyway.

And I manage a lap of the smallest park in the world and I leave the park and my Garmin says I’ve done 2.92 miles so I decide to round it up to 3 miles, finely tuned athlete stylee.

Today’s route

Stats:
Miles: 3.01
Total time: 37:01
Average pace: 12:18
Total calories: 265
Juneathon days completed: 8/30
Funfairs: 1
Music:
Heaven 17 – (We Don’t Need This) Fascist Groove Thang
XTC – Making Plans For Nigel
Kasabian – Club Foot
The Bravery – No Brakes
The Cribs – I’m Alright Me
Marc Almond – A Million Manias
Elysian Fields – Dream Within A Dream

Crisis Square Mile Run race report

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I really wasn’t looking forward to last night’s race due to me not being fully recovered from Tuesday night’s excesses and having a stomach ache all afternoon and hoped the walk up to St Paul’s would wake me up. I got to St Paul’s station and met up with my fellow racers Gary and Kate, and Bernard the official bag lookerafterer.

We checked in, got our red t-shirts and me and Kate went to the pub to get changed and bumped into Al at the bar who was supposed to be meeting Kate outside in the square but who had obviously got his priorities right by getting himself a beer first.

After what seemed like about two million years the race eventually started. After crossing the start line at about what also seemed like about two million years later, I got about ten yards down the road when I saw Ben standing at the railings so I stopped and went over and said what are you doing here, why didn’t you come to find us outside Corney & Barrow and he said he’d just finished work. I said oh, are you going to be at the finish line, Bernard and Al will be there, they’re outside the pub at the mo and Ben said maybe, where’s Gary and Kate? I said they’re running. Ben said well you’d better get a move on then and stop standing here, you can’t let them beat you so off I went hoping to overtake and leave for dust catch up with Gary and Kate and for the next half mile it was practically at a standstill with thousands of runners and narrow roads and steps to go up and down and it was at a standstill at London Bridge with everyone trying to crowd into the steps there.

And I’m running and running and running but I still can’t see Gary or Kate and I’m thinking they’re going to beat me but I have an excuse in that I stopped to talk to Ben and then I get to the Millennium Bridge which is just before the finish line and I’m running up to the finish line but I can’t see Gary, Kate, Bernard or Al and I think where is everybody? I finish in 33:08, yay, but there’s no-one here and I’m thinking how will I find them, Bernard’s got my bag with my phone in it so I can’t ring anyone so I walk down to watch the runners come over the bridge and I see Kate coming and so I clap and say yay, go Kate but she doesn’t see me so I wander up to meet her and bump into Al and say oh, there you are, where have you been and he says I didn’t expect any of you to finish for about another 20 minutes and we go and find Kate and I say well done and a couple of minutes later Gary comes along too and then Bernard turns up and says oops, I’m in the doghouse now, sorry I wasn’t there at the finish line but we didn’t think you’d be back yet and I say we are finely tuned athletes and we’ve been here for ages while you couldn’t be bothered to leave the pub to come and cheer us over the finish line.

We wander back up to the square to get our goody bags and have a goody bag inspection and the general consensus is that they’re pretty shit really and Kate says that she was expecting more for all that effort and inside the goody bag is a pink transparent raincoat kind of thing which is an exceptionally sexy little number and I will post a photo of it later. I’m going to wear it all the time because it will undoubtedly make me more attractive to members of the opposite sex. Yeah right.

We go off to the pub for the obligatory post-race piss-up pint and Gary says apropos of nothing that pandas don’t like to have sex with other pandas and Bernard says who do they like to have sex with then and I say probably not middle-aged men so I wouldn’t get your hopes up if I were you and after our intellectual debate about the sexual preferences of pandas we go off to another pub and argue about who’s getting the drinks in and then we go to get pizza, yay. We then go to the pub which only has the fact that it’s open ’til midnight going for it and stay there until we realise that we’re about to miss the last tube and I want to go to Liverpool Street so we get on what the destination board says is a Circle Line via Liverpool Street train which turns out to be a complete lie as we don’t realise we’re on the wrong train until we get to Whitechapel and so I have to go to Mile End and get on the Central Line to Leyton and get a taxi from Evil Cars but I decide I’m sober enough to walk further to the nice cab office and I eventually get home, yay.

Oh yes and I said to Kate did you enjoy the race and she said yes she really enjoyed it and I said I’m doing a race in Regent’s Park on 21 July, do you want to do it too, it’s only 5k, less than we’ve just run and she says yes. Yay, I’ve got a convert 🙂

I will update later with stats and maps and stuff.

Oh and in case you think I’m wimping out of today’s Juneathon, I’ve brought my gym stuff in with me and shall be making a trip to the gym at lunchtime. I am indeed a finely tuned athlete.

Juneathon day #8 update

I have been to the gym so today’s Juneathon is completed and I can spend the evening vegging out in front of the telly and hope I don’t accidentally watch Big Brother. I have resisted so far.

Gym stats:
Treadmill: 15 minutes between 8.6 & 10kph
Rowing machine: 15 minutes
Cross-trainer: 2 minutes

I had felt energised after being on the treadmill and was fine on the rowing machine, but after 2 minutes on the cross-trainer, realised that I was actually quite knackered so went to get my lunch instead.

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