JogBlog

I wake up early to the smell of freshly baked bread and I need to get out early this morning due to Kate coming round to see my not new anymore bathroom and I’ve promised to clean it in her honour as I’ve only cleaned it once since I’ve had it in a I’m a lazy slob kind of way and I think I need to hire a cleaner as housework hasn’t been high up on my agenda for a long time now and even my kitchen is in a state and I still like my kitchen even though it’s four years old now I think and I’m going to do my first 12 miler today and I’m looking at what’s on my iPod and I think it needs updating as the songs on it aren’t really doing it for me but I decide it’ll take too long and I need to get out and the only top I’ve got to wear is the fluorescent yellow one and I think I’m going to roast in that and it looks warm and sunny outside and I open the front door and I hesitate as I think I’ve forgotten something but I haven’t forgotten anything and then I have the urge to take some money with me and I hope it’s not a premonition that I’m going to get injured and have to get a cab home as I’ve never taken money out with me before and I shove a fiver in my pocket and leave the house and just as I get out of my gate my nice old lady next door neighbour comes out of her house and I say hello and she says hello how are you? and I say fine thanks and I don’t stop and chat but carry on going and feel guilty but it’s perfectly feasible that she will keep me standing there chatting for half an hour while I stand there nodding and smiling politely and I really need to get on with my run and I hope she’s not too offended and I get into my run and panic sets in as I think did I turn my Garmin on? and I look at it and it’s ticking away nicely and I think thank fuck for that and I’m going really really slowly as I’m really really tired and I’m also really really hungry and I wonder if I’m ever going to stop being hungry as all I’ve done this week is eat and eat and eat and not always very healthy choices either; in fact, I’ve eaten a hell of a lot of crap this week but never mind and I get past the marina and over the bridge and I overtake a man running and I feel bad and I wonder why I feel bad overtaking people and I decide it’s probably because I’m usually at the back at races and don’t get much practice in overtaking people due to me usually being the overtakee and not the overtaker and then I’m at the pub by the river and I go down the stairs and the man I overtook comes under the bridge and I think how did he get here by that way and I think I need to investigate but not now and my knee’s twingeing and I think oh shit that doesn’t feel good, maybe I should go home and I get to the bridge and do some stretching and carry on and it feels a bit better and I’m hoping I’m not going to have to follow the man the whole way round the marshes but he turns off into Millfields and I go into the marshes and I remember the 10k that’s being held there in May and I’m wondering if I want to do three laps of the field and I decide probably not especially as a lot of it will be on grass and I don’t like running on grass and I’m wondering if I want to pay to do 10k where I run every Saturday anyway and I decide probably not and I’m wondering if it’s really cheeky just to turn up and run with the people at the race anyway without paying and I decide it probably is.

I get to four miles and I’m feeling slightly less knackered and think I can carry on and my knee’s stopped hurting which I take as a good sign and I’m going really really slowly and I think this 12 miles is going to take a very long time and I do my slowest ever 10k and I think oh my god I’ve got to do that distance again and I’m wondering if I can do it and I think it doesn’t matter if I can or I can’t as I’m going to do it anyway and I get to seven miles and think only five miles left, that’s ok and I get to Tottenham Marshes and and I’ve got four miles left and I don’t think I can do another four miles and I’m wondering why five miles seemed ok but four miles doesn’t and I think I’m going to have to walk but I don’t want to fail on my first ever 12 miler and then I remember I brought some money out and there’s a shop by the bridge and I think I’ll stop and get some water or something and then I see a sign for the shop and it says it sells tea, coffee and soft drinks and there’s also a Walls ice cream sign and I really fancy some ice cream and I wonder if a chocolate bar would perk me up and I think that is really greedy and I stop at the shop and I get some orange Lucozade as that’s supposed to give you energy innit and on the counter are cakes and flapjacks and I think I REALLY WANT A CAKE but I resist the I really want a cake urge and just get my Lucozade and try to forget it’s made by Glaxo Smithkline and the friendly man behind the counter says that’s one whole pound please so I give him my whole fiver and he gives me four whole pounds back and I say thank you, bye and I go outside and drink some Lucozade and it goes straight to my head and my vision is blurry and I carry on and I think the Lucozade is doing its job and I get to the bridge at the top of the marshes and I’ve got three miles left and I think three miles is nothing and then I’ve got half a mile of marshes left and the sky is a clear blue and the sun is reflecting on the river and Janis Joplin is screeching something and there’s a refreshing breeze and I think I’m going to make it after all and then I’m back on the the street with a mile and a half to go and I think yay, I’m not going to fail my first 12 miler and I get home and fall into some hot chocolate and toast made with freshly baked bread and I am absolutely shattered.

Today’s route

Stats
Distance: 12.14 miles
Time: 2:20:19
Pace: 11:33 m/m
Calories: 1,142
Overtakees: 1
Lucozades: 1
I want a cake urges: 1
Music
The Young Knives
Hole
The Who
The Kooks
The Smiths
Graham Coxon
Ash
Devo
Ween
Subhumans
Cribs
Janis Joplin
Citizen Fish
Cardiacs
Buzzcocks
The Doors

Due to people turning up on my doorstep at 2am and making me stay up all night drinking, I spend Saturday morning in bed then go for a fry up at the local greasy spoon instead of training in a I’m a fat lazy slob kind of way, then spend the rest of the day feeling guilty like it really matters and then I go out and drink too much unlike Jo who very impressively only has one and a bit glasses of wine and I also eat too much and I think there’s no way I’ll be out running tomorrow and this morning I’m woken by my alarm and I think oh no I don’t want to go to work today and then I think hang on a minute, isn’t it Sunday today? and I think yes I’m sure it’s Sunday as I’m sure yesterday was Saturday so unless I slept for 24 hours it must be Sunday and I think why the fuck did I set my alarm then? and I get up and turn the alarm off and go back to bed and I wake up a few hours later and think I’m not going running and then I think well maybe I’ll just do three miles, it’ll only take half an hour and I’ll still have time to go to the supermarket and I’m wondering if I can be bothered to even do three miles but then I’m getting told off in text messages and on facebook for not training and I think ok ok I’m going to do three miles and I leave my house and just as I start off an old lady stops and says something I can’t hear due to the singer of the Wombats telling me Christmas has come early for him but I think she says ooh, you’re brave and I think why am I brave? and I get over the footbridge and up to the stables and I think maybe I’ll go round Hackney Marshes and do more than three miles after all and I think I haven’t got my alarm on me though and you shouldn’t really go to Hackney without an alarm and a gun and a big dog but I decide to throw caution to the wind and risk getting murdered or harpooned or something and I get round the marshes without getting murdered and then I’m back to the relative safety of Walthamstow marshes and I’ve done five miles and I think shall I head off home now or carry on? and I decide to carry on and then I’ve done 10k in my quickest time ever and I think yay and I decide to carry on past the marina and I get to seven miles and I think maybe I should do the full 11 miles and I’m wondering if I can manage another four miles and I think I probably can and I go into Tottenham Marshes and carry on past the bridge where the race last year started and I get to the point in the race where my leg started hurting and Bum Crack Girl overtook me and I think I remember there being a bridge up the top and I think I’m going to go up to the bridge then come back down and I’m carrying on going and I still can’t see a bridge but I can see Ikea which means I’ve run to Edmonton and I still can’t see a bridge but then the bridge eventually appears and I run back down and I’m back on the street with about two miles to go and a car stops and asks me directions for a street I’ve never heard of and I’m tired now and I think maybe I’ll walk for a bit but I keep running and I think I’ll walk for a bit when I get to the tube but I run past the tube station and keep going ’til I get home and my three miles has somehow turned into eleven, yay for me.

Today’s route

Stats
Distance: 11.01 miles
Time: 2:02:31
Pace: 11.07 m/m
Calories: 1,035
Ikeas: 1
3 miles turning into 11: 1
Music
The Wombats
The Like
Bobby Conn
The Killers
Hole

For the fourth outing of the SAS, we were joined by Warriorwoman for our weekly drinking training session, but the lure of the pub was too strong for her and she bailed out halfway round and took a short cut that very helpfully led straight to the pub.

The remaining five hardcore proper athlete types continued round and finished the lap where four of us departed to the pub, leaving the other two to be even more hardcore and do more laps.

Healthy drinks were consumed in the form of milk which had a very unhealthy price tag of £4 a pint, healthy facts emerged in the form of us all being ex-smokers, then we got fed up of being healthy and got some chips and garlic bread with cheese.

Stats
Distance: 5.03 miles
Time: 59:39
Pace: 11:51 m/m
Pints of milk at £4: 1
Bowls of chips: 1
Garlic bread with cheese: 1

More stats and route map here

Last night’s running commute was swapped in favour of free alcohol at an internet industry networking thing in keeping with [an anonymous friend’s] year of only drinking free alcohol and on our way to the geekfest we kept being offered free alcohol by owners of various Brick Lane curry emporiums and we thought that’s fate, we will go and get free alcohol then come and eat curry and drink more free alcohol although I seem to be drunk by 8pm and in the morning I can barely remember the restaurant and remember even less how I got home although I think it involved a bus and being in Chingford and some teenage girls and it’s 7:47am and I’m wondering why my alarm isn’t going off and I remember it’s Saturday and I think yay and I go back to sleep and I don’t wake up until 10:30 and I have a huge hangover and a stomach ache and I think can I wimp out of today’s run and I think no I can’t as I will be pissed off if I do so I get up and think that was a bad idea and I get back into bed but I immediately get up again and think how the fuck am I going to run 11 miles, I’m not even sure I can make it as far as the kettle but I do make it as far as the kettle and I make a cup of tea and drink lots of water and an hour or so later I’m feeling vaguely humanlike and I get my Garmin and my iPod and I think I haven’t charged my iPod for about a week, I hope it doesn’t die on me and I get to the marshes and there’s a group of people with WFHC on their tops and I wonder what the HC stands for and I have to stop at the bridge at the marina as there’s a cyclist in front of me wheeling his bike up the bridge and I get to the tennis courts and there’s a man at the fence waving me over and I go over and he asks me to throw his ball back that’s come over the fence and I find the ball and I look at the fence and I think oh shit that fence is a bit high, what if I can’t throw it that high, I’m going to look like an idiot but I manage to throw it over the fence and I continue on my run and hope no more obstacles like walking cyclists or wayward tennis balls are going to hold me up and I get round the marshes without any more obstacles and the singer from the Wombats is telling me for the third time that he’s moving to New York as he has issues with his sleep and I’m wondering why this song keeps coming up all the time and at 6.8 miles a boring Killers’ track comes on and I go to skip it and my iPod goes quiet and I think oh I must have pressed the off button by mistake so I press the on button which is the same button as the off button but nothing’s happening.  OH MY GOD MY IPOD HAS DIED ON ME AND I’VE GOT 4.2 MILES LEFT TO DO.  Fuck.  And I’m wondering if I can do another 4.2 miles without my iPod and I think well I’ll have to, I’m three miles from home anyway, might as well do the whole distance.  Bollocks.  And then something bleeps and I think maybe it’s my iPod coming back to life but I realise it’s my phone and I think am I allowed to stop and check my phone and I think probably not and I think I can check it when I get to the bridge but then I remember that I’m not going up the bridge, I’m going to continue into Tottenham Marshes to make the distance up and then it occurs to me that I have songs on my N95.  Yay, saved.  And I put my headphones into my phone and make sure the music’s coming through the headphones and not the speakers like I did last time and I go up to the bridge where the race started last year which was the last race I did and had to limp round the last half of it due to my leg falling off then not being able to walk for two months and then I head back towards home and I’ve got two miles left and I get to the park and I’ve got half a mile left so I do a lap of the park and then I go home and somehow I’ve managed to drag my hangover round 11 miles without stopping.  Sort of.

Today’s route

Stats
Distance: 11.11 miles
Time: 2:05:44
Pace: 11.18 m/m
Calories: 955
Walking cyclists: 1
Wayward tennis balls: 1
iPods dying at 6.8 miles: 1
N95s saving me: 1
Music
The Wombats
Cardiacs
The Killers
Peter, Bjorn and John

Due to people giving feeble excuses such as not being in the country, a sprained ankle, and imaginary spinning classes, I head off to Speaker’s Corner to meet the two new recruits to the SAS and as I am hardcore, I run down there from work but my Garmin doesn’t want to get a signal and so I stand in the middle of the road on a triangle junction thing until I realise I probably look a bit of a twat so continue on my way Garminless but it eventually picks up a signal about a mile down the road and I get to Speakers Corner early as I manage not to get lost and end up in Harlesden or Brighton and I wait for the others and we exchange the usual pleasantries like “is Hopping Bunny your real name?” and we head off round the park and I’m leading the way until I realise that I don’t actually know the way so I obviously haven’t been paying much attention although I’ve done it twice before and it’s practically a rectangle (although I actually think it’s more of a parallelogram) and I only have to turn off four times but I get confused about which four but we do a lap of the park without stopping and then two of us go to the pub for a quick pint where I am informed about the new spaniel-based recruit that will be joining us in a few months. Sweet as.

And also on the new recruit front, Angela is coming out to drink Stella run with us next week, hurrah.  Any other Londoners out there want to join us?  Go on, you know you want to really…

Yesterday’s route

Stats
Distance: 6.26 miles
Time: 1:11:59
Pace: 11:29
Calories: 589
Spaniels: 1
Pints: 1.5

Due to there being no trains tomorrow to St Albans, getting to tomorrow’s 10 mile race on time would mean leaving the house at about 6am, so I drop out of my sixth race in a row and decide to do ten miles locally at a civilised hour; today’s civilised hour of choice being lunchtime.

It’s raining which is my favourite running weather and it’s quite busy with runners and dog walkers over the marshes but today the runners are a bunch of miserable fuckers and don’t smile or say hello like they usually do when it’s raining and I think they must be new year people but they are out in the rain which is usually only the preserve of the hardcore but then I see the man that I’ve seen three or four weeks in a row over there and he says hello and I say hello back and I’m wondering if he just runs round Hackney Marshes all day as I see him every week and I’m always out there at different times and I think maybe he’s my stalker and then I think he might be thinking the same about me. Hmm.

I get back to the marina and past the rowing club and remember that I was going to take a mile detour up Tottenham Marshes then come back down to the street as that should take me up to ten miles by the time I get home but then I think it might be too far and I’ll just get back to the park and go round there until I get to ten miles and I get to the park and I’ve only done 8.9 miles and I think shit, I thought back to home was 9.3 miles so I go round the park a couple of times and there’s a speedy type in there and he laps me and I think bloody hell he’s quick and quite cute too and I wonder how often he runs in the park and then I’ve done ten miles and I seem to have done it without walking or without stopping to take photos of cows or without walking over bridges or without walking up the steep bits, in fact I’ve run the whole ten miles non stop but I did make sure I ate properly yesterday so maybe there’s something in this eating malarky after all.

Today’s route

Stats
Distance: 10.20 miles
Time: 1:52:12
Pace: 10:59
Calories: 959
Races missed tomorrow: 1
Music
The Wombats
The Killers
Cardiacs
Hole
Tori Amos
The Like
Bobby Conn