Category: B&Q bathroom

Monday morning the electrician turns up at 8:20 and I show him the new light and he says, yes, that’s ok.  At 8:30 the plumber turns up.  I leave them to it and go to work.

I get home and the new light is on the ceiling and the toilet’s got the new seat on and it’s been resealed and doesn’t squeak anymore.  Hurrah!  But have they f****d anything up?  Of course they have.  The plumber’s managed to scratch the floor by the toilet.  Grr.  He’s even stolen two toilet rolls.  I’m going to assume they’re stolen as the alternative isn’t something I want to think about.  And I hadn’t even thought of that until I went to work and told a colleague there were two toilet rolls  missing and she said “eeeeeeeeeeeeeugh”.

But my bathroom is finished (except for a new blind that I still have’t bought) and that means that B and poxy bloody useless fucking Q won’t be stepping foot inside my house again, yah!!  Bye bye B&Q.

This morning (Tuesday) Alan from the installation centre rings and says how’s your bathroom?  I say it’s all finished although they have scratched the bathroom floor but it’s not very big and I can live with it as I don’t want them round again.  He says you need to send us a couple of quotes for a new kitchen floor, have you got any quotes yet?  I say no, not yet, does it have to be like for like?  He says what do you mean?  I say does it have to be the same sort of floor?  He says he supposes so, it should be about the same price, although the colour probably doesn’t matter.  He says do you have our address?  I say no.  He says hang on, he’ll get it.  I say don’t you know where you work?  He says yes but I don’t know the exact address.  He says he’ll pass on the notes so I can get compensation.  I say is that just for the kitchen floor?  He says he’ll send them notes of the whole thing.  I say because I want to make a complaint.  He says he thought I would.  He says am I happy with the bathroom?  I say it’s not a brilliant job but it’s ok.  I thank him for his help.  Aw, I’m going to miss my daily moan about the fitters to Alan.  I don’t suppose he’s going to miss me.

Next stage is writing my letter of complaint.  That’ll keep me out of mischief on Saturday.

Jackie from the installation centre calls at 11:30 and says I’m ringing about the Parcelforce delivery which was supposed to happen yesterday.  I say no card was left.  She says no, no delivery happened because Parcelforce didn’t pick up from PJH, the suppliers.  She says they’re delivering today between 8 and 4:30 and I have a tracking number if you want it.  I say there’s no point, I’m not there.  She says well they’ll leave a card and you can ring them to rearrange delivery.  I say why can’t they deliver to the store?  She says she doesn’t know.

Jackie calls back at 11:50 and says that she’s spoken to the store and they’re happy to take delivery and bring it round to me on a Saturday but there’s nothing she can do at the moment because it’s in transit with Parcelforce but they’ll leave a card and I can just ignore it or keep it for future reference and she’ll ring Parcelforce tomorrow and call me tomorrow.

Why couldn’t they just have arranged for it to go to the store in the first place and why don’t they even bother to tell me that they’re going to try and deliver it to my house sooner than the actual day they’re going to deliver it?  Although Alan said on Monday that they were delivering on Tuesday so just as well I didn’t take the day off because they didn’t deliver on Tuesday. 

Yawn.

As I haven’t heard anything for a while about when the electrician’s coming back or when the new toilet seat’s being delivered, I ring the installation centre and speak to Alan.  Hello Alan I say, happy new year.  Happy new year he says.  I say all I’m waiting for is the electrician and the new toilet seat.  He says what date is it today?  The 8th?  The toilet seat’s coming on the 9th.  I say tomorrow?  I’m not in.  Alan says ah, it’s coming by Parcelforce so they’ll leave a card and you can rearrange a delivery for when you’re in or you can collect it from the depot.  I say I’m never in, I’m at work, unless it’s before 9 or on a Saturday and I can’t go to the depot, it’s miles away and I don’t drive.  Can it be delivered to the store?  Alan says no, he tried that.  I say but the panel was delivered to the store, why can’t the seat?  He says he doesn’t know.  I say no one told me it was being delivered tomorrow.  He says he tried to call me on Friday but couldn’t get through.  Ever heard of leaving messages?  That’s what voice mail’s for.

Alan says that when the installation manager called round I said the fitters were Mayers but he was under the impression that I didn’t want them back again.  I say I only need the electrician, as long as they don’t burn anything, rip anything, leave windows open or anything else that they’ve done in the last six months, I don’t mind.  He says ok then, he’ll see what he can do.

Bloody hell, dealing with B&Q is like wading through treacle.  My six months interest free credit runs out soon and I’m going to have to pay for an unfinished bathroom.  Can’t believe it’s been six months since I first ordered it and it’s taking all this time.

Update
Alan from the installation centre rings at 4:30 and says about your delivery tomorrow, it’s with Parcelforce, if you’re not in, what they do is try your neighbours on either side, I don’t know how well you get on with your neighbours, and if there’s no one to take it, they’ll try to deliver on three consecutive days and leave a card and you can arrange for a delivery when you’re in.  I say but I’m not in any day.  He says I don’t know if they do Saturdays or if you can take a delivery on a Saturday?  I say Saturday’s fine or before 9 o’clock.  He says I don’t know if they do before 9 o’clock.  I say they do because I looked on their website but it will cost B&Q more.  I say I spoke to someone last year, I think his name was Gary, when I was trying to get my panel delivered and he said that you can’t rearrange a delivery until the delivery’s failed.  I say a neighbour took in the sink so hopefully someone will be around tomorrow.  Alan says will they take delivery for you?  I say if anyone’s around, yes.  I say it is just the seat that’s coming, isn’t it?   He says yes, the special seat, the non-banging one.  I say the non-banging one, ha ha.  He says I can’t remember what the proper name is.  I say hydraulic action?  Oh yes, that’s it he says.  Alan says well let’s see what happens with the delivery tomorrow.  I say any word on the electrician?  He says I was going to wait until you’ve got the toilet seat and then he can do both at the same time.  I say oh ok, fair enough.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I really didn’t want to have anything to do with B&Q during the Christmas break but thought I might as well go and get the light replaced while I’ve got the time off. So I found the receipt, put it on the lights which I’d put on the coffee table so I didn’t go out without them and trekked down to B&Q.

I found some lights I was ok with and thought that would be installed easily as the fitters are fuckwits and can’t do anything that might involve some initiative or skill and took them up to the till. Then I thought, eek, I’ve left the receipt on the coffee table, bollocks. I say to the girl on the till I want to swap these lights for these ones, but I’ve left the receipt at home. She says did I buy them in this store? I say yes. She says she’ll have to call someone over to check and also to check when I bought them. She sent someone off to check that I wasn’t lying and that I did buy them in that store. Then she sent him off to do a browser check to see when I’d bought them as I can only return them within 28 days. He comes back and says £19.99. She says no, a browser check, not a price check. So he goes off again then she says if it wasn’t within 28 days I can’t return them. I say I’ll take them home and come back with a receipt but anyway, I got them on a credit note as it’s the second lot I’ve had to return because your fitters can’t fit them. She says hang on, he’s gone to check. He comes back and says no lights like that were sold in November or December, I must have bought them somewhere else. I say it was only about 3 weeks ago, is Azhar or Maryam here, they helped me when I bought them, they can explain, it’s only taken me this long to return them because I’ve been waiting ages for your electrician to come round and now he’s come round and says he can’t fit them. He says Maryam’s here. I say can you call her over then please? He comes back and says you must be Mrs White. I say yes. He says Maryam recognised you, it’s fine for you to return the lights, I’m sorry about that but it’s company policy, if it’s over 28 days we can’t have anything returned. I say that’s ok, Maryam knows the background, she can explain the hassle I’ve had. Maryam comes over and says to the girl on the till, you can give her a credit note. The girl on the till opens the boxes to check everything’s there and says there’s some parts missing. I say well I haven’t opened the boxes so they must have been missing already. Maryam says to her don’t worry about it. I say to Maryam thanks for your help, sorry to have to get you involved again, happy new year. So I get my credit note which I’m going to give to someone as I never want to go to B and bastard Q ever again.

I get home and look at my receipt that says I bought them on 25 November, so when the man said there were none sold in November or December he was talking bollocks.

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It must be up to 6 or 7 by now 🙂

Pete the installation manager rings at 10:15 and says he’s a bit early, can he come round now. I say that’s fine, I’m here. He turns up 30 seconds later and looks spookily like my cousin, although I’m pretty sure it’s not my cousin as I don’t suppose my cousin has swapped his job in IT for one that involves wearing a B&Q fleece. Plus he’s not called Pete. Pete takes a picture of the kitchen floor and says that I need to get a quote for a replacement floor and then they’ll refund me. He looks at the toilet lid and says it could be a soldering iron burn but he can’t see any soldering and that I need it replaced. He says is there any other work outstanding and I say no, just the ceiling light needs replacing because they said they can’t put spotlights in and I’m going to get a new light. He’s not interested in the slightest about my bathroom and can’t wait to get his form written up and to get out of there. Can’t blame him really, it’s the last day before Xmas and he probably wants to finish up asap and get to the pub. He says he can action everything now but nothing will happen until the new year as it’s just not a good time of year, next week’s going to be manic.

I am not unduly concerned by this as I’m not at work until 3 January now and I don’t want to spend my break making cups of tea for tossers from B&Q and today is my birthday and in two and a half hours I’m going to be in a pub drinking Belgian beer and then we’re going for pizza, yah!! 🙂