Category: Jogging

TFI Saturday

2 comments

I get up earlyish and waste two hours doing nothing at all really and eventually go to get changed into running gear and the trousers I put on have a red stripe on them and I pull out a green t-shirt and I think red and green should not be seen, and wonder if I should put on a different t-shirt but I think bollocks to it, it’s only a bit of red, I’m sure it’ll be ok and I put a sock on and it’s inside out and inside out is unlucky but changing it so it’s not inside out anymore is even more unlucky and I don’t want to go over the marshes and be unlucky so I’m not sure what to do so I take it off and put other socks on instead making sure that they’re not inside out and and I go downstairs and wonder why I’m so superstitious and superstitions are all rubbish anyway and if I was that superstitious why did I get a black cat and I go over the marshes and run alongside the river and there’s a heron in my path and I stop to take its photo but it flies off  and I get to where the cows live and I think ha, you can’t fly off and I take their photo whether they like it or not.

And I go past the stables and back to the path leading up to the footbridge and there’s a screech behind me and I turn round and there’s a cyclist about two inches away from me and I jump and he smiles and says sorry and I move to let him get past and I get over the bridge and up the not very reassuringly named Black Path and I want to walk and I think no no no no walking, it’s not far to go now and I stop to walk and I think no no no no walking and I start running again and I get home and think yay, I’ve got two days to do nothing but learn jewellery making and php but then I remember I’ve got some website work to do and I think oh shit.

Stats:
Distance: 3.23  miles
Time: 37:27
Pace: 11:35
Calories: 313
Herons: 1
Cows: 6
Cyclists 2″ away from me: 1
Music:
Bobby Conn
The Divine Comedy
Hole
Babes in Toyland
Manic Street Preachers
Jeff Buckley
Citizen Fish
Long Blondes
Garbage
The Holloways

I love lists

7 comments

I especially love lists that put me in the top 100 health and wellness blogs (no.54 to be precise), so motivated by this I take a quick spin round the park before work (yes I remembered I still had a job) and when I’m on the sports field a train goes past and it’s only half a train and I think it’d better not be only half a train when I get to the station later as the train’s only been half a train three times in the last week and it’s bloody annoying as you can’t fit everyone onto half a train and I get squished and I don’t like getting squished and I think if it is only half a train, I’m going to complain and I think I’m getting good at complaining as I complained about the food in Wetherspoons on Saturday and I’m going to complain to the restaurant that we were going to go to but didn’t and I complained to a seller on ebay for charging me too much postage and I wonder if my new found complaining skills are a sign of me getting assertive or just a sign of me getting even grumpier in my old age. Hmm.

Stats:
Distance: 1.35 miles
Time: 14:09
Pace: 10:30
Calories: 130
Half size trains: 1
Music:
Human League
The Strokes
The Polyphonic Spree
Hard-Fi

Decisions, decisions…

3 comments

After a sleepless night I get up early having made a decision and not only have I made a decision but it’s a firm decision and I’ve never had one of those before but a cup of tea and a couple of emails later and once again I’m undecided.  Aarrgghh.  So I make do with a different decision and then decide to go and see the cows over the marshes and a train goes past and I don’t think that’s my train and then another train goes past and I think that train goes to Liverpool Street and I should be on that train going to work but I’m not and I’m nervous about going back tomorrow but I have to go sooner or later and I think sooner would be a good idea and it’s bright and sunny over the marshes and I remember the radio said it was going to be cloudy and thundery all day and I’m wondering how the weather people get it so wrong every single fucking day and why don’t they just look out the window to see what the weather’s like instead of spending billions of pounds on machines that clearly do not work very well at all and then I’m out of the marshes and back on the street and there’s a girl walking down the road towards me so I go to the side and then she goes to the same side and I’m thinking aarrgghh, I hate it when people do that and so I go to the other side instead of pushing her into the bushes like I should do really and then I get home and I’ve done 5k hurrah.

Stats
Distance: 3.14 miles
Time: 37:18
Pace: 11:52
Calories: 305
Cows: 6
Music
Good Charlotte
The Cure
Hot Chip
Pixies
Hard Fi
Subhumans

Minging Monday

6 comments

I must have been hallucinating when I woke up as I could have sworn sunshine was streaming through the blinds but when I ventured out from under my duvet and looked out the window it was raining like I’d never seen it rain before and I thought oh shit my roof’s going to leak again and I’d got up early to virtually wave Bear off on his first day at school and the radio kept saying the rain was going to stop but the radio must have been lying because it was just raining and raining and raining and I thought sod it I’ll go out for a run anyway, it’s nice over the sports field when it’s raining and so I went out and fuck it’s cold and I’m thinking I should have put on a long sleeved top and I get to the park and there’s an old man on the bench reading and I’m thinking his book must be really soggy but as I get up to him I see he’s got it in a transparent folder and I think wow that must be a really good book for him to come out in the pouring rain to read a book in the park but why can’t he read it in his house? and I get up to the sports field and The Polyphonic Spree start singing and that immediately brightens my mood and I think maybe if I just listen to The Polyphonic Spree then I’ll feel happy all the time and then Soft Cell come on and I’m wondering if Joggerblogger’s going to make a comment about how my playlists always used to contain Soft Cell and then it stops raining and I think shit, I was enjoying running in the rain and I get round the sports field and a train goes past on its way to Liverpool Street and I think how would I feel if I was on that train going to work and I feel sick and I think oh shit, will I ever be able to go back? and I have to stop to retie my hair which has come out of its band and I get back to the park and go past the old man who is still reading his book through a transparent folder and then I go past two young muslims who are on a bench snogging and I wonder if muslims are allowed to snog and I think well why not? and then I wonder if I can do another lap of the park and I think I need to build my mileage up as I’ve been struggling to do even one mile lately and I try to think who can draw me up a schedule and I get to the old man reading his book through a transparent folder again and realise I’ve gone past the gate so I have to do another lap and I think it’s quite simple really, run more, eat better and drink less and everything else should fall nicely into place and I get home and I’ve done two miles and I think aaaaah, I feel better now.

Stats
Distance: 2 miles
Time: 22:36
Pace: 11:19
Calories: 193
Old men sitting on benches reading in the rain using a transparent folder: 1
Muslims snogging on a bench: 2
Music
The Polyphonic Spree
Soft Cell
The Cult
The Cure

The week that was

6 comments

This is the week that saw me do absolutely fuck all and not wanting to face the world.  So I didn’t.  But Saturday mornings are for thinking what did I do this week and why is my house so untidy as my house being untidy isn’t a good sign and so Operation Get My Shit Together (Part 2) will have to begin.  Starting with getting out of the house for a run.  So I did.  Plus I was spurred on by the fact that I could wear my  Robin Hood t-shirt and as it mentions the full marathon people will clearly think I’m a finely tuned athlete and not think that I did the fun run that it also mentions.

I went up to the park and just as my Garmin kicked into action I could see a girl running on the path towards me and so I thought FUCKING BOLLOCKS and turned round and went in the other direction and there were a load of people on the path and so I thought I’d go up to the sports field and I as I get there I can see a couple of people up there and I stop and wonder if it’s going to be too annoying and I decide it probably won’t be that annoying as it’s only a couple of people and if I can’t even handle two people in a big fuck off field then I am in trouble and so I run round the field and I look at my Garmin and it says 6 minutes and I think 6 minutes? fuck, it feels like 6 hours and I feel like stopping but I think I can’t stop at 6 minutes and I carry on but a few minutes later I do stop and I walk to the end of the field and get back onto the street and I think surely I can run the rest of the way home and so I start to run again but after about six feet I stop and turn off my Garmin and go home to continue with Operation Get My Shit Together (Part 2).

Stats:
Distance: 1.19 miles
Time: 13:56
Pace: 11:40
Calories: 107
Music:
Devo
The Cure
Sex Pistols
Primal Scream
Hard Fi

A taxing day

5 comments

I get woken up by a text message at 7am and I think why the fuck is my alarm going off, I thought it was Saturday and then I’m confused and I’m thinking it is Saturday isn’t it? and I think yes it’s Saturday and I think I should go and see the cows and then come back and be a geek all day and go through my new php book and then dye my hair and then I think bollocks, I was going to do my tax return today as I’ve been putting it off since April as I do every year and it’s mid-September so I should do it now really and as my accounting system consists purely of me chucking receipts and invoices in a drawer it’s not a job I’m looking forward to and I go over the marshes and not to be outdone by joggerblogger I take a picture of today’s blue sky to prove that it’s not all pea-soupers down here.

And I go past the cows but the cows are sitting down and I can’t see them very well and I think bastard cows sitting down, they should be standing up so I can see them and then I go past the stables and a horse comes over to say hello but when I get my camera out it walks off so I follow it and it sticks its head over the fence again but when I get my camera ready to take its picture again it walks off again and I think horse, you’re really annoying, and so I go home and on the way I see this car that doesn’t have much left of it.

And then I get home and I think I could barely run 3 miles and I’m glad I don’t have to do that three and a bit more times tomorrow at the Robin Hood half and joggerblogger can run it for me by proxy but he’d better get me a decent time though.

Stats:
Distance: 3.11 miles
Time: 37.12
Pace: 11:56
Calories: 289
Cows sitting down: 6
Camera shy horses: 1
Cars with not much left of them: 1
Music:
The Like
Peter, Bjorn & John
Kaiser Chiefs
Courtney Love
The Young Knives

Girlflu

11 comments

And you lot thought I’d been slacking this week? No, not me, I had a bit of a sniffle girlflu but because I am a hardcore finely tuned athlete, I have attempted to run a bit this week, although Thursday and Friday’s efforts couldn’t really be called efforts as Thursday’s effort consisted of a mile with two walking breaks and Friday’s effort was similarly feeble with 20 minutes on the treadmill with two walking breaks.

But today I got up early early early after my extremely riveting dream about making bread to rectify this pitiful situation and not because I’m expecting delivery of a new shiny 22″ monitor, oh no. I got up early early early and went over the park and round the sports field and did, um, a mile. But it was a mile with no walking breaks this time, which isn’t bad for a girl with girlflu.

And now I am awaiting delivery of my nice new shiny 22″ monitor although I did seem to confuse amazon so I hope it does turn up, I’m even going to tidy the spare room so it doesn’t think it’s new home is owned by a scruff. Which of course it isn’t, as obviously this is the home of a domestic goddess. Only a domestic goddess would dream about making bread.

Stats:

Today
Distance: 1.37 miles
Time: 14:31
Pace: 10:38
Calories: 126
Music
Courtney Love
The Prodigy
Hole

Friday
Treadmill:
Distance: 1.65 miles
Time: 20:00
Pace: 12:08
Calories: 158

Thursday
Distance: 1.32 miles
Time: 14:55
Pace: 11:17
Calories: 114

Sloooooooooooooow

7 comments

I have a day off today, hurrah, so do I spend it by lounging around in bed ’til lunchtime Neighbours comes on?  No, do I fuck.  I get up at 6:30am and waste some time on the internet and then go out to attempt the three mile route round the marshes and I’m thinking is it safe over the marshes this early as I see people over there when I’m on the train but that’s a bit later and I’m thinking about the female joggers who got murdered over Victoria Park and that was early in the morning I think and I think well I probably won’t get murdered but I take my personal alarm with me and I go out the door and I see my next door but one neighbour and I think eek I don’t want to talk to anybody looking like this and so I pretend to be busy putting my keys in my back pocket and go and hide round the corner and wait for my Garmin to get a signal and then my neighbour walks past and I think bollocks but she doesn’t even smile or say hello or anything and I think miserable cow but I suppose we haven’t actually spoken before which is a shame because then I could tell her how the old woman who lived in the house before her died in the house and was found by the milkman and when the house was on the market Sanjay from Eastenders knocked on my door asking about the area because he was interested in buying the house and I wondered if he wanted to get a job in the market but anyway my neighbour walks off towards the bridge and I think I’ll go on the other side of the road and run past her but then I think we’re going to be going under the bridge at the same time then and she starts running for a couple of feet and I think ooh she must be late for work, running three steps will make sure she’s on time but then she stops on the corner and I think she must be getting the bus, I wonder where she works, doesn’t everyone work in town? and I don’t know where she can be getting on the bus to because it doesn’t go very far and I wonder if she’s getting it to the tube station the lazy moo and then I decide to start running and I go up the road and two ladies of a certain age are getting into a car and they give me a funny look and I get into the marshes and there’s no one about and then I see a man in the long grass and I think why’s that man in the long grass and then I see behind him the two ladies of a certain age and I think why is that man in the long grass with two ladies of a certain age and I think ick I shouldn’t be thinking things like that and so I try and see the cows but they’re far away but I can just about see them and I can also see Canary Wharf and the Gherkin and I think yay I’ve got no work ’til Tuesday and then I get to the stables and I think that’s the same horse as last time and I think duh of course it is, it’s not like they’re going to change the horses every couple of days and I’m thinking when I get to the footbridge I can stop and walk up it because I’m knackered and I have got seriously unfit in the last few weeks and I walk over the footbridge and up to the bread factories and this time when I get to the road where I was nearly run over last time I see a van coming so I stop and he indicates and I think well at least someone knows how to indicate and I don’t get run over and I eventually get home and although it was v. slow, I did it without stopping, yay.

Stats
Miles: 2.79
Time: 32.13
Pace: 11:32
Calories: 241
Music
Peter, Bjorn & John
The Twang
Black Wire
The Cribs
Hole
Foo Fighters
Jamiroquai
The Music

Morning has broken

6 comments

After awaking from bad dreams involving psychopathic exes, dead people and car crashes I get up early and decide to go for a run round the park and I’m going through my t-shirts deciding what to wear as I need to do my washing and I only have one running top and I think if I wear that what am I going to wear for tomorrow’s run and I think does it really matter and I think no it doesn’t matter and I pull out a baggy race t-shirt and I think no I can’t wear that and I pull out another race t-shirt which actually fits properly and I get to the park and bollocks the park is shut and I think that’s not fair I’ve been here earlier than this and it was dark then and it wasn’t shut so I go down to the other gate to see if that one’s open and hooray that gate is open and I think I hope there’s no nutters in the park as one of my escape routes is padlocked and I think there probably won’t be any nutters and I go round the park and there’s a woman with a dog in there and it’s ok as the only time I can tolerate other people in the park is at 6:30 in the morning and we smile at each other in that early morning solidarity/you’re probably not a nutter kind of way and I do a couple of laps of the park and when I get home the fake sunrise has just come on and I think I am hardcore, I have been for a run before the sun is up. Yay.

Stats
Distance: 1.25 miles
Time: 13:39
Pace: 10:56
Calories: 110
Music
Manic Street Preachers
The Twang
Hole

Moo

5 comments

Yesterday I woke up aching like I’d been out running for the first time ever but apart from a normal ache my leg wasn’t hurting so today I thought I would go and see the cows properly for the first time since they’ve been back and of course it also gave me the opportunity to play some more with my Nokia N95 and take some cow based photos.

And after I stop hassling the cows I go back the way I came and go past the stables and take a horse based photo.

And then on my way home I come across this really unhelpful sign.

And on my way through the bread factories when I’m crossing a road a man in a car decides to turn off and nearly runs me over and I say to him try fucking indicating and luckily he decides just to give me a dirty look instead of getting out of his car and beating me to a pulp and then Kate Nash starts singing Dickhead and I think ooh, spooky, last time that played on my iPod was just after being hassled by a dickhead personal trainer in the gym.

This week is going to be healthy week. This consists of only having homemade stuff. So homemade pizza, curry and wine it is then 🙂

Today’s route

Stats:
Distance: 3.08 miles
Time: 43:13
Pace: 14:01
Calories: 280
Cows: 6
Horses: lots
Dickheads trying to run me over: 1
Music:
Kate Nash
Kaiser Chiefs
The Twang
Black Wire
Calvin Harris
Hole

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