Category: Jogging

One mile wonder

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After yesterday’s massive feat on the treadmill, when I woke up this morning my first thought after thinking I wish the cat would stop hitting me in the face was I wonder how my leg is, will it take a trip over the park? and so I got up and thought yay, it feels fine, I’m going to go to the park as, it would be nice to go and see the cows but I don’t want my leg to give up on me over the marshes and have to limp back all the way home and I can get home from the park in about 5 seconds and so I blew the dust off my Garmin, unearthed my trainers from underneath toolboxes, numerous pairs of Converse and an embarrassing amount of bags under the stairs, tried to remember how to use my wireless headphones and went to the park and there was an old man on each of the benches so I had to stand around and look dodgy while I waited for my Garmin to pick up a signal but it didn’t take long and so I started walking round the park as I couldn’t remember how to run but after passing a man with two little dogs I attempted to run and it wasn’t too bad but a bit stiff and achy and I went up to the sports field which was completely empty and did a lap of that and then it wasn’t completely empty anymore so I went back onto the street and got back to the park and I thought shall I do a lap of the park or just go home and I thought I’ve done a mile, that’s probably enough for now, I don’t want to overdo it and damage my leg and anyway I have to go out drinking with Tracey today and go for lunch on the boat pub and then get the boat bus and do more drinking and the sun is out so definitely beer drinking weather, yay.

Today’s route:


Stats:
Distance: 1.21 miles
Time: 13:36
Pace: 11:16
Calories: 119
Music:
Kaiser Chiefs
Kate Nash
Calvin Harris
Black Wire

Lardathon Day #10 and #11

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Day 10 of Lardathon consisted of eating cake and not going to the gym which after the week I’ve had which, amongst other things, consisted of me getting caught up in this storm on my way home on Monday which resulted in it raining inside the landing, bedroom, spare room and my trainers being still soaking wet two days later, I think is justified. A hailstorm? In July? ‘kin hell. Still, last night I cooked a healthy meal of some kind of Oriental-ish inspired vegan noodle and rice thing and a not so healthy back of a can of condensed milk inspired banoffee pie. With added Baileys. Only 600+ calories a slice, but who’s counting?

Today was marginally better on the exercise front and also on the cow front. On the way to work this morning, which was a smoother journey than yesterday when, after having got up early so I could go to the bank before work, the train was late and when it eventually arrived it was only half a train so everyone was squished and then it sat at the platform for about 15 minutes so I thought fuck this and got off and walked the 20 minutes to the tube station and so didn’t get to Holborn early enough to go to the bank, plus because I had to get the tube instead of the train meant I didn’t get my daily cow sighting fix which royally pissed me off but anyway, today on my way to work I counted six cows. Yes, six cows, yah!! They’ve added two more, Big Brother stylee. Wonder if they’ll have evictions too although they won’t be able to moan about who’s the laziest as from what I’ve seen so far all any of them do is lie down all day although there were three standing up when I went past them on my way home tonight. And also on my way home tonight I started thinking about things that wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t stopped smoking 18 months ago and one thing that did occur to me is that I wouldn’t have a bad leg.

Lardathon Day #10
 Starting weight: 9 st 4
Current weight: 9 st 5
Breakfast: Muesli & soya yoghurt
Lunch: Quorn ham slices and salad sandwich on granary bread
Dinner: Laksa, nasi goreng
Other: Nectarine
Lard based confessions: Banoffee pie, wine, beer
Exercise:
None.  Oops.

Lardathon Day #11
Starting weight: 9 st 4
Current weight: 9 st 3
Breakfast: Muesli & soya yoghurt
Lunch: Quorn ham slices and salad sandwich on granary bread
Dinner: Laksa, nasi goreng
Other: Nectarine
Lard based confessions: Banoffee pie
Exercise:
Walking: 1.5 miles
Elliptical trainer: 18 minutes
Rowing machine: 20 minutes

Tottenham Marshes 5 Run the River race report

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My leg had been hurting after my 6 mile run/walk/stop to take photos on Saturday in the same way it’d been hurting on Wednesday after my 8 mile treadmill extravaganza on Tuesday but it felt ok on Sunday and I’m not one to waste my race entry fee and miss out on a post-race piss-up so walked the three miles to the start of the race and everything was fine until I got to 2.5 miles and I thought oh no, my leg is hurting, I’m going to have to stop and walk the last 2.5 miles and then a girl overtook me and her shorts were falling down and showing her bum crack and I though oh no, I can’t look at her bum crack for 2.5 miles, I’m going to have to either speed up or slow right down but I can’t speed up as my leg’s hurting and I carry on and she falls behind and I get to 2.9 miles and the path turns to grass and I think oh shit, nobody told me I’d have to run on grass, I don’t like running on grass as it’s all soft and lumpy and bumpy and it’ll do my leg in more but at 3.3 miles it turned back to path so yay, and at 4 miles I think my leg’s going to fall off and I walk for a few seconds and Bum Crack Girl overtakes me but luckily she’s pulled her shorts back up by then and at 4.4 miles I have to stop and walk because my leg is seriously hurting and I think I’m going to be limping over the finish line and then I think am I fuck limping over the finish line and so I start running again and I get to the finish line and my Garmin tells me I’ve done it in 50:27 which is my fastest time ever. Yay. But I don’t get any of the brownies or muffins because Bear fails to tell me that they were there but we walk a mile back down Tottenham Marshes to the pub and just as we’re about to order lunch, our table gets invaded and invaded by smokers nonetheless which, as a non-smoker, impresses me not, so we go through Walthamstow Marshes and and try to spot the cows that are still lying down, the lazy bastards, and go to the pub by the river which is overrun with screaming and scabby babies and then we go to another pub and by the time we leave we are a bit pissed. And I am a bit sunburnt.

Stats:
Distance: 4.98 miles
Time: 50:27
Pace: 10:07
Calories: 484

Lardathon Day #8
Lunch/dinner: Spinach and ricotta cannelloni with salad and garlic bread
Lard based confessions: Shitloads of beer
Exercise:
Running: 5 miles
Walking: 8 miles

Lardathon Day #9
Starting weight: 9 st 4
Current weight: 9 st 2
Breakfast: Muesli & soya yoghurt
Lunch: Quorn ham slices and salad sandwich on granary bread
Dinner: Thai flavoured mushroom stroganoff with golden rice
Other: Apple, nectarine
Lard based confessions: Few squares Green & Black’s Dark Chocolate, wine, beer
Exercise:
Walking: 1.5 miles
Rowing machine: 20 minutes
Elliptical trainer: 10 minutes

Lardathon Day #8

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It’s 7am on a Sunday morning and I haven’t got a hangover.  That can only mean one thing.  Race day again.  Why can’t they have more races on a Saturday?  Would be far more civilised.  And why can’t they have more races in Central, East or North London?  Still, I suppose the more races they have that I can get to, the less Saturday nights I have to stay up late partying.   Today’s race is in Tottenham and I haven’t even decided how to get there yet.  Think it’s going to be a three mile walk up there, then after the race, a walk down to the pub for lunch.  Yay.

Lardathon Day #7

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I sleep a deep deep deep deep sleep and dream that my cat’s a kitten and lost in my bed and when I wake up after ten hours sleep I don’t know where I am and I realise I’m at home but it feels weird and I see my cat and she’s not a cute little kitten but still a fat fucker and I get up and I go downstairs and I think I must have slept too long because my house feels strange and I think I should go over the marshes and see the cows but I’m feeling a bit shit but I get changed and go out and I get to where the cows live and they’re the laziest cows in the world and still lying down. There are cows in here somewhere, honest.

And so I think maybe if I go round to the other side of the fence I’ll be able to see them better but I still can’t see them so I go back and continue my route up the river I wanted to do and as I’m going up the river I see some baby swans. Aah.

At least, I think they’re baby swans. Angela will probably come along soon and tell me they’re blackbirds or something.

And I get to the end of the marshes and I think do I want to do two miles on the road and I think no I don’t want to go home yet, I want to stay in the marshes so I get to the bridge and I turn round and come back the way I came and I go past the rowing club again and they’re all sitting outside a cafe drinking tea and eating their breakfast and I think I fancy a cup of tea which is strange as I gave up drinking tea about a year and a half ago and I also fancy a fry up and I think that’s not good thinking for a finely tuned athlete and I go past the houseboats and there’s a boat for sale for £10,000 and I think ooh, I’ve got £10,000, I could buy that boat and live on the river and rent my house out and live off the rent and never have to leave my boat on the river and become a hermit except for going to the pub but then I’m thinking how would I get back from the pub as I’m not going to walk through the marshes at night time and do boats have broadband and would my cat like to live on a boat and I think she might fall in the river and then I get back to where the cows live and two of the cows are standing up. Hurrah.

And I think it would be nice if they had some pigs over the marshes and maybe some sheep but cows will do I suppose and we do also have horses.

And I eventually get home after going twice as far as I meant to and my fat fucker of a cat has nicked my chair so I kick her off so I can write my blog.

Today’s route

Stats:
Miles: 6.61
Total time: 1:26:30
Average pace: 13:04
Total calories: 589
Cows: 4
Baby swans: lots
Music:
Calvin Harris – Acceptable In The 80s
Mark Ronson – Stop Me
Jamiroquai – Space Cowboy
The Rolling Stones – Sympathy For The Devil
The Damned – Gigolo
Jamiroquai – Light Years
The Secret Machines – You Are Chains
The Secret Machines – Pharoah’s Daughter
Jamiroquai – Virtual Insanity
The Secret Machines – Lightning Blue Eyes
Scissor Sisters – Monkey Baby
Janis Joplin – Kozmic Blues
Mark Ronson – Just
The Secret Machines – 1000 Seconds
Jamiroquai – Do You Know Where You’re Coming From

Lardathon stats
Starting weight: 9 st 4
Current weight: 9 st 3
Lunch: Crunchy peanut butter on granary toast
Dinner: Caribbean coconut, courgette, spinach and butternut squash curry with wholegrain basmati rice
Other: Pine nuts, nectarine
Drinks: Cranberry tea, hot chocolate

Lardathon Day #3

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I’m sorry but I can’t blog today due to my brain being left behind on a treadmill somewhere in Holborn.  I think I need a lie down.  And my feet hurt.

Stats
Starting weight: 9 st 4
Current weight: 9 st 3
Breakfast: Soya yoghurt and muesli
Lunch: Quorn sausage sandwich with lettuce, cucumber and light mayo
Dinner: Wholewheat spaghetti with aubergine and tomato sauce
Other: Mini baby bel, nectarine
Lard based confessions: 0
Cows: 0
Exercise:
Treadmill: 90 minutes
Distance: 13k
Speed: 8.5/9/9.5kph

Juneathon Day #30. The end.

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We made it, the end of Juneathon! But I wimped out of the 8 miles my training schedule had down for me due to, um, not really feeling like it but still, I couldn’t wimp out totally, what with it being the last day of Juneathon and that so I loaded up my iPod with some of my favourite tunes, although for some reason my favourite tune ever ever ever wasn’t in my iTunes folder and you’d think with 5,000 songs in there, my favourite one ever ever ever would be in there and so I decided that I couldn’t leave the house without it and eventually found it hiding in an external hard drive and so with my 18 minutes of tunes decided to run for 18 minutes and I went out in the rain, hardcore stylee, and went round the park and up to the sports field and because I am the only hardcore stylee finely tuned athlete in Walthamstow had the place to myself and it’s raining and I’m getting soaked and my favourite tunes are being blasted into my ear drums and I get back to the park and Joining the Plankton by Cardiacs which is my favourite song ever ever ever comes on and I think this is the last song but I’ve only done 15 minutes, I thought I put another song on and then Stereo Total start singing I Love You, Ono and I think can I get round the park before this song finishes so I speed up and I don’t quite make it to the gate before the song finishes and I go home having completed Juneathon and I think I should win Juneathon because, um, I like winning things.

Stats:
Miles: 2.12
Total time: 19:31
Average pace: 9:11
Total calories: 196
Music:
The Damned – Smash It Up
Graham Coxon – You & I
Delorean – As Time Breaks Off
Cardiacs – Joining The Plankton
Stereo Total – I Love You, Ono
Juneathon stats:
Days completed: 28/30
Miles: 71.95

LARDATHON – THE RULES
Right then, who’s up for Lardathon?

Lardathon is simple. The rules are

Lose weight.
No eating crap allowed (unless it’s your birthday or anniversary or your friend’s coming round to see your new bathroom and you’re going to your favourite Italian restaurant after)*.
You must post your food diary every day and confess to any crap eaten.
You are allowed to drink but not 20 pints every night.
You can drink more on beer drinking weather days.
You can drink in any pubs where smoking is banned.
Do lots of exercise (doesn’t have to be every day).
If you want a logo, design it yourself 😉

*Crap includes pizza, crisps, chocolate, cakes, ice cream**, donuts, anything containing large quantities of cheese, cream and butter, lard. This list is not exhaustive.

**Free ice cream is allowed.

I will make up some more rules later.

Today my scales said I was 9st 4 and I want to be under 9st. Ideally, 8.7 st. Actually, I’d like to be 8st but then people start moaning at me for being too skinny (I’m 5 ft 6).

Juneathon Day #29

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It’s the penultimate day of the Juneathon and I decide to take it easy on the running front and just do some cross-training down the gym at lunchtime in the form of the rowing machine and the elliptical trainer but when I get there, I can’t resist the lure of the treadmill as I have got strangely addicted to it, although not so addicted that I want to buy one and bounce up and down on it whilst watching Eastenders, although I suppose it would be handily near the fridge and they do have those beer can size holders in them, but anyway I do 15 minutes on the treadmill and then 15 minutes on the rowing machine and I go back to work nicely energised but my good mood doesn’t last long as my boss decides to be a twat again and I’m thinking he has got the man in his 40s syndrome in a big way and eventually it gets to 5 o’clock and I can go home and I get on the train and I must have committed some kind of bad karma sin by blogging about the Juneathon candidate the other day who was the size of two seats, as another one gets on the train and sits next to me and squishes me all the way home.

Stats:
Treadmill: 15 minutes
Distance: 2.5k
Speed: 10kph
Rowing machine: 15 minutes

Juneathon Day #28

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Because I’ve decided my running commute is seriously bobbins, I decided to attempt 10k on the treadmill but almost had an excuse not to do it when at 5:20 my boss asked me to do something which would have involved me leaving work late but then he changed his mind and so I trotted off to the gym and started my running commute which wouldn’t get me home at the other end of it and neither would it take me past Somerfield and their plentiful supply of chilled white wine.

When I get to the gym I’m told that they’ve swapped round the men’s and women’s changing rooms and she does tell me why but I didn’t hear and I say is it every day and she says no just today and I wonder why it’s just for today but I don’t bother to ask her and so I go into the men’s changing rooms which is v. weird and they’re bigger than our changing rooms and there’s a girl in there who puts deodorant on and then puts on her gym kit and goes to the mirror and does her hair and make up and I think what is the point in that and I go and get on a treadmill and six minutes later make up and hair done girl gets on the treadmill next to me and starts walking on it really slowly and I’m thinking ha, you lightweight, you need Juneathon and then she starts running on it and she does 35 minutes and at the end she looks exactly the same and I think well if my hair and make up stayed the same I might do the same thing but I look like a drowned rat after about five minutes and then another Juneathon candidate gets on the other treadmill next to me and she walks really slowly on it for five minutes and gets off and I think well at least she’s in the gym and a year and a half ago I wouldn’t have dreamt of going in a gym and then I’m watching the news on the telly and they’re showing politicians but I don’t know who they are and then they’re showing the Spice Girls and I think Posh looks kind of freaky and not in a good kind of freaky way like Bobby Conn but in a Bride of Wildenstein kind of freaky way, especially next to the other Spice Girls who look healthy and normal and I think Posh probably thinks she looks the best out of all of them and then Keane comes on my iPod and I think what the fuck is Keane doing on my iPod, although it’s the song that sounds like U2 which I will admit to sort of liking although I don’t actually like U2 but I’m still thinking what the fuck is Keane doing on my iPod and then it gets to 53 minutes and I’m thinking I’m quite enjoying this and maybe I’ll turn the speed up a bit when it gets to 60 minutes and it gets to 60 minutes and then it goes to 59 minutes and I think what the fuck, I must be hallucinating, I thought it was on 59 minutes before and then when it gets to 60 minutes it goes into the cooldown mode thing and I think what the fuck, bloody hell, that’s annoying and so I turn the speed back up and then a minute later it goes back down again and I think oh no, I’m going to have to turn the speed up every minute and that’s really annoying and so I think well, the quicker I go, the quicker I get to 10k so I turn it up faster and and keep doing the turning it up every minute thing until it eventually gets to 10k and then I let it do its cooldown thing it obviously so desperately wants me to do and as soon as I finish on the treadmill, a girl jumps on it and I think ooh, I did hog it a bit, oh well never mind.

Stats:
Treadmill: 67 minutes
Distance: 10k
Speed: 9/9.5/10/10.5kph

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